Rufayette Morgenschoss (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} zeiss_manifold) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} spork_squad,@ 2010-03-26 17:49:00 |
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This chapter doesn’t have any loli stuff, so I left it uncensored. Finally, you’ll all be able to see the balloontits and hingedicks in all their glory!
Page 159
Delcat: Is the chapter like an epilogue?
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's unrelated
Zeiss Manifold: haven't read it yet
Delcat: I'm game if you two are, but I don't wanna hold you two up, either.
Zeiss Manifold: I've got nothing else to do
Zeiss Manifold: and I think Inky is intent on staying up
Zeiss Manifold: So Y/N?
InkWeaver: Y
Zeiss Manifold: alright
InkWeaver: And then we can be DONE WITH THIS SHIT
InkWeaver: sdjfklsdjfdskljf WOOHOO
Page 160
Zeiss Manifold: Gee, sudden otaku rage in three panels
Delcat: For a second, I thought it was implied that the ENTIRE MANGA was JUST A TV SHOW
Delcat: Which almost would be a relief, really...
Zeiss Manifold: It would explain a lot
Zeiss Manifold: and what is it with these damn penises
Zeiss Manifold: are they supposed to be some sort of narrative device?
Page 161
Delcat: I think so. I think they're like the "APPLAUSE" signs they have for live TV shows. When you the penis lights up, you cum!
Zeiss Manifold: I'd be fucking exhausted by the end of this if that was the case
Zeiss Manifold: Okay, now we're in hell.
Delcat: I-Inky? Are they talking to you too?
Delcat: Are the little dickgirls asking you if you've masturbated today?
Delcat: OR HAVE I FINALLY LOST IT
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was crossdressers that didn't have rights in the Ono-verse...
Delcat: So apparently once gay rights are achieved, they start subdividing into more specific rights.
Zeiss Manifold: I think I'd be less surprised by someone being a lesbian than I would someone being a dickgirl
Delcat: The Futanari Lesbian Voice Actor Rights parade wasn't very popular. All the text on their signs was all squished up from all the words.
Zeiss Manifold: I can't figure out if this is supposed to be subtle social commentary, or what
Zeiss Manifold: I should also mention that the name of this chapter is "Black Rx", for what it's worth
Delcat: Black Prescription? For...what?
Page 162
Delcat: Inky, when I come over, can we strip naked and watch anime?
Zeiss Manifold: How come I'm never invited to your crazy naked anime parties
Zeiss Manifold: damn kids
Zeiss Manifold: Is that a VG console? I thought it was a ham radio.
Page 163
Delcat: ...a competetive H-game. That is actually a brilliant idea. I imagine J-List has already jumped on the prospect.
InkWeaver: You know
InkWeaver: I'm not really down for the stripping naked part of the anime suggestion
InkWeaver: just thinking you might want to make a good impression on my parents
Delcat: But that's how BEST FRIENDS do it! The Internet wouldn't lie!
InkWeaver: kay wait I was AFK for a moment
InkWeaver: who is this Utari chick.
Zeiss Manifold: The pigtailed one
Delcat: We have a new set of dickgirls. They do voice acting for hentai games. That's as far as I can care.
InkWeaver: Is that it?
Delcat: Actually, that's further than I can care, but I tried just for you, Inky~
Zeiss Manifold: Don't go all ~ on me
Page 164
Delcat: ~ ~ ~
Delcat: THEY ARE WORMS
Delcat: oh hey you know what
Delcat: I'm really surprised that Hikari didn't end up growing a dick.
Zeiss Manifold: You are right
Zeiss Manifold: This manga has drifted into 'smile and nod' land
Delcat: At the Naked Round Table of the Naked Board Meeting...
InkWeaver: I just don't even know what's going on anymore.
InkWeaver: I am not even compelled to be funny about this horseshit
Zeiss Manifold: Pfft. Typical futanari lesbian manners!
InkWeaver: WHY WON'T IT END..
Delcat: Just look at the pretty pictures, honey, look at the pretty pictures.
Page 165
Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Delcat: You know what would be fun, guys?
Delcat: Instead of reading this, we could have a sing-song./
Zeiss Manifold: OKAY
Delcat: We could do Lion Sleeps Tonight.
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
Delcat: I could do the low part, and Inky could do the high part, and Zeiss, you can do the chorus!
Zeiss Manifold: A WHEENA WHACKA
InkWeaver: EEEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEE-EEEE-EE
InkWeaver: EEE-OOO-BOMBAWAY
Zeiss Manifold: WHEEEABUMBUAY
InkWeaver: or whatEVER the fuck they're signing
Delcat: Hey-up BOOOOY, A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: singing*
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ROFL
InkWeaver: WHAT
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ARE WE EVEN TYPING
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE DICKGIRL CUMS TONIGHT
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE SEMEN'S SHINING BRIGHT
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
Delcat: ooo-WEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE-WEEM-O-WU
Delcat: oh hell it's still not over is it
InkWeaver: I always forget what comes next
InkWeaver: 'cause in Lion King
InkWeaver: Timon and Pumba get interrupted right about here.
Zeiss Manifold: ON THE BOAT
Zeiss Manifold: THE PEACEFUL BOAT
Delcat: Then the dickgirl jizzes in someone's ear, I think.
Zeiss Manifold: okay i'm all sung out
Page 166
Zeiss Manifold: are her tits bending of her own accord
Zeiss Manifold: Asumin: The Last Titbender
Delcat: Dude, did she just...age like twenty years, or are we looking at a different character, or oh God I don't even care.
Zeiss Manifold: I think these are different characters
Zeiss Manifold: I imagine this girl just dumping a basket of condoms onto the street like a twisted version of a ticker-tape parade
Delcat: wtf. She ordered a THOUSAND condoms and it's only because she got THREE TIMES her order that she's having trouble getting rid of them?
Page 167
Delcat: Well, they ARE hermaphrodites.
Delcat: I wonder if snails have this kind of porn.
InkWeaver: oh wait
Zeiss Manifold: honestly, the dialogue is just white noise now
InkWeaver: are these those different chicks again
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: what if these chicks
InkWeaver: are the offspring of Yasuko and Hikari?!
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE: THE NEXT GENERATION
Delcat: ...you know what? I think that's actually what it's supposed to be.
Zeiss Manifold: oh god
Delcat: Remember all that hinting about babies?
Delcat: We're seeing two out of a clutch of 50,000.
Delcat: The earth has already been conquered, zombie-style.
Zeiss Manifold: are you saying that Ono has gone and retconned all his works into one universe?
Delcat: They're voice-acting for the daily Morale Booster Audio Drama for the proles.
InkWeaver: holy god
InkWeaver: you're probably right
Delcat: Not quite. He draws random Oddishes all over his Pokemon manga.
InkWeaver: I wonder
InkWeaver: what the doctors did
InkWeaver: when the children were born with vaginas AND penises
Delcat: ...Oddishes...Oddishes are my favorite Pokemon. I always liked how...how he drew them just for me...and...WAAAAAH
Zeiss Manifold: but then...are Ash and friends still wandering around Dickgirl Land?
InkWeaver: "Congratulations, Mrs. Yasuko! It's a girl -- uhm, boy, uhm -- oh dear."
Delcat: GUYS MY CHILDHOOD IS BEING KNOCKED DOWN THE STAIRS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Zeiss Manifold: YOU MUST STAY ON TARGET
Zeiss Manifold: TAKE YOUR SADNESS AND TRANSFORM IT INTO SPORK
InkWeaver: FOCUS GRASSHOPPAH
Delcat: I SPENT ALL DAY SCANNING HIS POKEMON MANGA AND THE WHIPLASH IS MAKING MY TITS BLEED SPOILED MILK
Page 168
Delcat: Oh hey I still have some Mike's in the fridge. Carry on :-D
Zeiss Manifold: YOUR COCK IS HUGE. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS
Delcat: It had better. I mean, really, where ARE they putting those?
Zeiss Manifold: wait this one seems to have balls for some reason
Delcat: A mutation after the inevitable nuclear holocaust.
Zeiss Manifold: ...is Ono going to give us a lesson on safe sex?
Delcat: Wait, no, I'm thinking of the next project, sorry.
Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS AN AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL AFTER ALL
Delcat: Why are there cats all over the place?
Delcat: Did we just HAVE to throw in kenonomimi on top of everything else?
InkWeaver: hmmm
InkWeaver: allow me to analyze this page.
InkWeaver: Well.
InkWeaver: What I gather from this page
InkWeaver: is that in the last panel
InkWeaver: that girl has been punched in the cunt.
Delcat: I mean, uh--OH GOD THIS MANGA IS DRIVING ME SO CRAZY I SEE PUSSY EVERYWHERE
Zeiss Manifold: I think Ono should either sex or talk to concentrate onbecause when he does both at the same time it just does not work
Delcat: ...I wish I hadn't bothered to correct that oversight.
Zeiss Manifold: but they're arguing about condoms!
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S AMUSEMENT
InkWeaver: guys
Delcat: She looks like she's gonna bite her head off, mantis-style.
Page 169
Delcat: SEE PUSSY
Zeiss Manifold: no fair you read ahead
InkWeaver: If I visit japan
Zeiss Manifold: ...why don't these people have pants on
Delcat: It was an accident!
InkWeaver: will I see live dickgirl concerts
Zeiss Manifold: I mean seriously who is the fucking target audience for this thing
Delcat: I'm surprised the cats don't have balls. Hell, the cats have balls in kids' manga in Japan, and they don't have balls here? I just don't get it.
Delcat: Panel 4 is seriously creeping me out and I'm not sure why. I mean, besides the obvious.
InkWeaver: she's just
InkWeaver: dancing around
InkWeaver: with no pants
InkWeaver: WITH NO
InkWeaver: PANTS
InkWeaver: I mean look at this
InkWeaver: the concert
InkWeaver: has a giant cat suit person
InkWeaver: who is this concert for?!
InkWeaver: please tell me it's not children
InkWeaver: I might cry.
Zeiss Manifold: probably for the "MOE~" crowd
Zeiss Manifold: but I doubt that many of them would be willing to leave their basements.
Page 170
Zeiss Manifold: this will not end well
Delcat: When you hear the tone, turn the page! *flip*
InkWeaver: UGH
Delcat: Is she jizzing out her nose?
InkWeaver: CAN HE PLEASE
InkWeaver: JSUT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE
Delcat: BECAUSE THEY HAVE DICKS AND PUSSIES
Delcat: AND PUSSIES WITH PUSSIES AND PUSSIES WITH DICKS AND
Delcat: yeah okay I've got nothing it's all blending together
Zeiss Manifold: YO DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE PUSSIES
InkWeaver: SO
InkWeaver: WE PUT DICKS IN YOUR PUSSY
InkWeaver: "but I -- "
InkWeaver: SO YOU CAN FUCK WHILE YOU FUCK
InkWeaver: "But that's -- "
InkWeaver: COOL HUH?
InkWeaver: "No."
Delcat: I bet you could fit like a hundred dicks in THAT pussy.
Delcat: oh God I made a fursuit funny KILL ME.
Delcat: Enough to pay for our therapy?
Zeiss Manifold: pffft, therapy is for losers
Delcat: OH GOD I FLIPPED AHEAD WITHOUT THINKING AND IT'S RAPING MY EYES
Zeiss Manifold: D=
Delcat: AND MY EVERYTHING ELSE
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T SPOIL IT
InkWeaver: I CAN'T FLIP AHEAD ASKJDASKLDJ
Zeiss Manifold: for the record, I would be quite terrified if a giant anthropormophic cat offered to wipe off my sperm
Delcat: That's a good sign, honey. That's a good sign.
Page 171
Delcat: At...at least it doesn't have...little barbs on it.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it
Delcat: I DON'T WANT TO.
Zeiss Manifold: I LIKE cats, goddamnit
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: THIS IS TEARING ME APAAAAART
Zeiss Manifold: cats don't deserve this
Delcat: I LIKE ELECTRIC TALE OF PIKACHU. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL.
InkWeaver: I LIKE MY BRAIN
InkWeaver: HOW DO YOU BOTH THINK I FEEL
InkWeaver: okay okay
InkWeaver: TWO MORE PAGES
Delcat: All this time, whenever he drew Meowth, he was thinking OH HEY I COULD DO THIS WITH SEX
Delcat: ...I seriously think we cannot add anything to this page.
Zeiss Manifold: Except that
Delcat: It stands alone. Like a horrible cheese.
Zeiss Manifold: I do not trust this cat at all
</a>Page 172
InkWeaver: I do not trust ANYTHING anymore.
Delcat: Oh, meanie meanie fucks-my-ass, nyuuuu~!
Zeiss Manifold: I bet these people actually came to see Journey
Delcat: There's some douche in the front row yelling FUCK FREEBIRD
InkWeaver: "Oh hye did you get tickets to that cover band for tonight?"
InkWeaver: "Yeah, I heard they're pretty ENTERTAINING."
Zeiss Manifold: You know, I actually feel kind of disappointed in Ono for resorting to the old "I AM RAPING YOU IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND YOU ARE LIKING IT" chestnut
Delcat: I think they have actually come to their senses and are rushing the stage to bludgeon their dickgirl overlords to death with their glowsticks.
InkWeaver: "Oh yeah, I heard they cover beatles songs and everything."
Delcat: It is a glowing ocean of justice and blood and jizz.
InkWeaver: "I heard they don't cover much. That's why I got the tickets."
InkWeaver: "...what?"
Delcat: *rimshot*
InkWeaver: "You'll see."
InkWeaver: *an hour later*
InkWeaver: "YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. I WILL NEVER GET THE JIZZ OUT OF MY NICE SHIRT."
Delcat: You know how after you've been to the beach, you spent weeks finding sand in weird parts of your clothes/anatomy?
InkWeaver: yeah
Zeiss Manifold: D=
InkWeaver: ...D=
Delcat: Find+replace "beach" with "this concert" and "sand" with "slowly congealing jizz".
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: *sob*
Page 173
Zeiss Manifold: and that's pretty much the whole story right there
Delcat: The snare drums build to a crescendo, and the lights go down. There's a scream, a long moment of silence. The house lights go up. Exit, stage left.
InkWeaver: Wow.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
Delcat: Also there is a dick growing out of that lady's eye.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
InkWeaver: you know
InkWeaver: the lifeless cat eyes behind her
Delcat: OH MY GOD
Delcat: THE EYES
InkWeaver: is just the perfect backdrop
Delcat: I JUST REALIZED
InkWeaver: like what we're all feeling right now.
Delcat: THEY'RE THE SAME BUTTON EYES FROM THE HORRIBLE DOLL-RAPE SCENE IN VOLUME EIGHT OF BATTLE ROYALE
Delcat: AND I THINK THE DOLL-RAPE WAS LESS TRAUMATIZING
Zeiss Manifold: Button eyes?
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, actually.
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU TELLING ME CORALINE IS GOING TO SHOW UP
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: SHE CAN'T BE DEFILED BY THIS MADNESS.
Page 174
Delcat: ...wait.
Delcat: Did we just...totally leave behind the catfucking?
Zeiss Manifold: we already had the full-page orgasm
InkWeaver: Seriously. I just ...
InkWeaver: This is beyond the realm of sense or caring.
InkWeaver: I am dispassionately reading these pages and then shrugging.
InkWeaver: They're sitting around naked.
Delcat: But...is nobody ever going to mention it again? Is it just going to BLAM itself away?
Zeiss Manifold: talking about bread
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Zeiss Manifold: everyone, on the count of three...
InkWeaver: BIG
InkWeaver: LIPPED
InkWeaver: ALLIGATOR
InkWeaver: MOMENT!
Delcat: LIPPED
InkWeaver: oh darn
InkWeaver: one more time
InkWeaver: BIG
Zeiss Manifold: B-BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Delcat: I thought we were trading off sorry here I go
Delcat: mmmmmmBIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
InkWeaver: No I thought so too but then no one did anything and askdjfsklfjdsfklj
InkWeaver: yeah.
InkWeaver: the mmmm at the beginning is essential.
Delcat: Just big lipped alligators in general here is what we're saying folks
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Delcat : I feel like this page would make sense if I spoke Japanese, but I just don't care enough to try to figure it out.
Delcat: So what the hell is left?
Delcat: Another totally unrelated arc? Omake?
Zeiss Manifold: I think there's a 'buns' pun in that page somwhere
Zeiss Manifold: well let's see
Page 175
Delcat: God, I want melon bread now.
InkWeaver: The only thing I care about at this point is whether or not we'll see if Ono's brain leaked out onto these pages.
Zeiss Manifold: HOLY
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING
Zeiss Manifold: SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: ANAL JUSTICE 3
Zeiss Manifold: OR 1 AT LEAST
Zeiss Manifold: THE REDUX
Delcat: NOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: FLASHBACKS
InkWeaver: LIKE 'NAM
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: MINA, GET AWAY
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS BOOK
InkWeaver: ZEISS YOU HAVE TO BREATHE
InkWeaver: BREATHE, MAN
InkWeaver: CALM YOURSELF
Zeiss Manifold: alright alright already
InkWeaver: DELCAT, HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN BEFORE HE HURTS HIMSELF.
Delcat: I'VE GOT FURRY HANDCUFFS WILL THEY HELP
Zeiss Manifold: I calmed down one post ago
Zeiss Manifold: geez
Delcat: TOO LATE IT'S BONDAGE TIME
Zeiss Manifold: ...are you guys planning to rape me
Zeiss Manifold: after all this
InkWeaver: It's not rape if you orgasm.
InkWeaver: ...right?!
InkWeaver: I'm gonna get stabbed
Delcat: Personally? No, of course not. That's what I hired those strapping young male prostitutes for.
Zeiss Manifold: I do like how even Ono himself sums up his work with BUTTSEX
Delcat: Zeiss, I have your signature on some papers here...
Zeiss Manifold: no you don't
Zeiss Manifold: that's my evil twin
Delcat: Yes I do
Zeiss Manifold: Meiss Zanifold
InkWeaver: GASP
InkWeaver: SHOCK
InkWeaver: MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...This form has the Chucky Cheese logo on it anyway
Delcat: Well, he'd better get his ass over here, I paid good money for those prostitutes.
InkWeaver: HOW WILL I KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE REAL YOU
Zeiss Manifold: Just shout "Meiss", geez
Delcat: Otherwise what am I going to use them f...oh wait I think I have an idea.
Delcat: ...were we doing something?
Zeiss Manifold: Del has a wonderful, horrible idea
Zeiss Manifold: okay now what
Page 176
Delcat: A wonderful, horrible, jizz-covered idea!
Delcat: I'm going to have them do my laundry :D
Zeiss Manifold: OH MY GOD I'M ACTUALLY GLAD TO SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN
Delcat: I...I feel like I've been here before.
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao, Icchan...how can I forget them...
InkWeaver: WAit a minute
InkWeaver: is Ono going all meta on us?
InkWeaver: NO ONO
InkWeaver: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED
InkWeaver: THIS IS
InkWeaver: sdklfjdsklfjsdlfkj
InkWeaver: BRAINSPLOSIONNNN
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao Tachibana. Noted perverted high-school student. Tangled up in the cocks of progress.
Delcat: Hello, girlcock, my old friend
Delcat: I've come to jizz with you again
InkWeaver: because a dickgirl softly creeping
InkWeaver: sprayed her seed while I was sleeping
Delcat: Because the hard-ons softly creeping
Delcat: Dang, you beat me to it while I was trying to remember how it went.
Zeiss Manifold: And the doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo cocks
Zeiss Manifold: something something cocks
Zeiss Manifold: In the balls...of silence
InkWeaver: beautiful, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: OR SHOULD I SAY MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: DAMN YOU
Zeiss Manifold: OR SHOULD YOU SAY
Zeiss Manifold: TOSHIHIRO ONO
Delcat: GASPY! Is...is it true?
InkWeaver: I THINK
InkWeaver: MY WORLD JUST IMPLODED
InkWeaver: well if that were true, that would be the funniest fucking thing ever.
InkWeaver: Like, if you really were Ono.
InkWeaver: Snarking your own fanfiction.
InkWeaver: er, manga.
InkWeaver: Like MADNESS
InkWeaver: .
Delcat: Didn't a Goosebumps book end like that?
Zeiss Manifold: I'll ask Meiss the next time I see him
Delcat: The one about the dickgirl porn?
InkWeaver: I think I read that one - oh wait no
InkWeaver: no
InkWeaver: that was about the kid's dad
InkWeaver: being a plant
InkWeaver: Don't Go in the Dickgirl
InkWeaver: or something
Page 177
Delcat: Yeah, and in the end, HE was the tentacle monster.
Delcat: I--wait, was the robot cat maid in it? I don't remember a robot cat maid.
Zeiss Manifold: there wasn't one
Zeiss Manifold: it was probably another short or something
Delcat: Or he's padding his part.
Zeiss Manifold: also, I am hearing this narration in the voice of the Disney announcer guy
Delcat: "Robot maid girls! Kenonomimi! Mermaids! And a hundred elephants!"
Zeiss Manifold: I'm tempted to think the robot catmaid might be a joke
Zeiss Manifold: it's too stupid a premise even for Ono
Delcat: Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: yes?
Delcat: "Oh no, he's running out of cum! Let's fix it by letting him blow all of us!"
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Zeiss
Delcat: You mean too VANILLA a premise even for Ono.
InkWeaver: just post the next couple of pages in succession
InkWeaver: I have to understand where this is going
Zeiss Manifold: You wait your turn like everyone else
Page 178
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A GUNDAM
Zeiss Manifold: *is shot*
InkWeaver: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
InkWeaver: BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH SHIT I DON"T CARE ABOUT I CAN'T EVEN BE FUNNY
Zeiss Manifold: oh no
Zeiss Manifold: ...is that Lagann off to the side?
Page 179
InkWeaver: let me tell you a secret
InkWeaver: secretly
InkWeaver: this entire time
InkWeaver: every time we snark
Zeiss Manifold: yes
InkWeaver: I've been fapping.
InkWeaver: Ono has unlocked the safe of my sexuality.
Zeiss Manifold: B-but...
InkWeaver: Like Pandora's dickgirl box.
Delcat: "...and that's the story of how Little Red Dickinghood fucked the wolf into submission. The end!"
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was nice seeing Nanao and friends again
Zeiss Manifold: It's been so long
Delcat: God, there was a Little Red Riding Hood h-manga on /d/ tonight and it was pleasant and quaint compared to this.
InkWeaver: OMG
InkWeaver: WAIT
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: DON'T
InkWeaver: TELL ME
InkWeaver: THAT THIS
InkWeaver: sdkjlfsdklfjsdkfj
InkWeaver: Guys.
InkWeaver: Guys
Delcat: Yes, Inky?
InkWeaver: Take Me to Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: no
InkWeaver: is just a story the two of them were reading.
Delcat: ...no.
InkWeaver: It's just a porn doujinshi
InkWeaver: from that same damn convention
InkWeaver: that they reference in Ariake
Delcat: BUT THEN
Delcat: AND HOW
InkWeaver: Ono is trying to pull some fucking meta shit on us.
InkWeaver: In fact, the random switchover?
InkWeaver: That's just them reading a different doujinshi.
InkWeaver: I seriously think that's what this is.
Delcat: ...BUT WHYYYYY.
Zeiss Manifold: THE JOY OF DICKGIRLS IS ALSO THE JOY OF REBIRTH
Zeiss Manifold: ONO PRESENTS: THE END OF ARIAKE
Delcat: YOU DAMN DIRTY APES
Delcat: WHYYYYYYY
Zeiss Manifold: Besides, Inky, look at that book.
Zeiss Manifold: It's the size of a paperback.
InkWeaver: Okay. I have to know.
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: I think manga like this are printed a bit bigger
InkWeaver: NEXT PAGE
InkWeaver: NOW
Page 180
Delcat : you are rationalizing Zeiss
Delcat: you are rationalizing THE TERRIBLE TRUTH OF ARIAKE
InkWeaver: ...
Delcat: oh God it's all spiralling down the drain
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ..
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...I'm
Delcat: WE'VE GONE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's more like the end of Akira.
Zeiss Manifold: This whole book is just Ono's hallucinations after Tetsuo swallowed him
Delcat: The inexplicable anime ending or the triumphant manga ending?
Zeiss Manifold: the anime.
InkWeaver: never watched it.
Delcat: Yeah, there's nothing triumphant about it.
Delcat: the guy
Delcat: like explodes
Delcat: and says I AM ALIVE
Delcat: because they tried to cram six long volumes into ninety minutes
Zeiss Manifold: and it didn't work well
Zeiss Manifold: KINDA LIKE THIS
Delcat: and the only solution was for everyone to explode
Delcat: Is...IS this the end? Does it go on?
InkWeaver: I'm utterly defeated.
Delcat: ...are we going to explode?
InkWeaver: I snarked all that, and it wasn't even real
InkWeaver: WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING
InkWeaver: THANK GOD IT WASN'T REAL
InkWeaver: THANK GOD
Zeiss Manifold: THE LAST PAGE
Page 181
Delcat: I'm afraid guys
Delcat: THE UNIVERSE
Delcat: I AM ALIVE
Delcat: *EXPLODES*
Zeiss Manifold: I
Zeiss Manifold: AM
Zeiss Manifold: ONO
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I DON'T
Delcat: 99% of those pictures are of unsuspecting schoolchildren aren't they
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: WHO
InkWeaver: HE TOOK PICTURES OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BUILDINGS
InkWeaver: PEOPLE IN PRISON WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM
Delcat: Would anyone care to join me in some communal fetal-position sobbing?
Zeiss Manifold: Well at least we got to see Icchan and Nanao agaGOD FUCKING DAMMIT
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING SHIT-ASS CHRIST-MUNGING CUNT PISS
Delcat: ZEISS YOU ARE GOING STOCKHOLM ON US
InkWeaver: *bursts into tears*
Zeiss Manifold: i'm sorry guys
InkWeaver: ZEISS IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
Zeiss Manifold: I thought this would be like Anal Justice 2
InkWeaver: you couldn't haev knwon
Zeiss Manifold: and be all whimsical and stuff
Zeiss Manifold: and instead...
Zeiss Manifold: FUCK
Delcat: Fuck, man. Just...fuck.
InkWeaver: I'm...
InkWeaver: stunned.
InkWeaver: how are we even supposed to interpret this ending
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Was my theory right? I don't even know
Zeiss Manifold: I MEAN IT WAS JUST ONO BEING A GIANT FUCKING OTAKU ALL THE TIME
Delcat: Like a slaughterhouse cow when they hit it with the mallet stunned?
Zeiss Manifold: NO PLOT, NO CHARACTERS, NO NADA
Delcat: 'cause I think that's where I am right now too.
InkWeaver: moo.
Delcat: ...Zeiss?
InkWeaver: HOW
InkWeaver: DO WE EVEN END THIS SNARK
InkWeaver: THERE IS NO WAY
Zeiss Manifold: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL
Delcat: I KNOW
Delcat: Zeiss, we need to do the RAMchip thing.
Delcat: It is the only way.
Zeiss Manifold: I FEEL LIKE THIS
Zeiss Manifold:
Delcat: ONLY THE TRADITION OF OUR FOREFATHERS CAN SAVE US NOW.
Delcat: MAKE US YOUR BOTS ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Zeiss Manifold: I DON'T KNOW HOW
Delcat: ...okay, I'll play Joel.
InkWeaver: wat
InkWeaver: whoops
InkWeaver: I just said EWWW really loud at that pic
InkWeaver: and my roommate is sleeping XD
Delcat: Inky, if you can name one good thing and one bad thing about this manga, I'll give you a cookie.
Zeiss Manifold: well there are two more pages left, but they're the credits and translator's notes respectively
InkWeaver: good thing -
Delcat: And maybe also some therapy.
InkWeaver: Ono is good at scenery.
InkWeaver: bad thing -
InkWeaver: FUCKING FUCKITY DICKGIRLS FUCKING MINORS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*
Credits
Delcat:Delcat: Zeiss, your turn.
Zeiss Manifold: ...BOATS
Delcat: And the bad thing?
Zeiss Manifold: ...what they did on the BOATS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*
Zeiss Manifold: om nom nom
Delcat: I think we've learned a valuable lesson here, kids.
Translator’s Notes
Delcat: Just think...just THINK how many HOURS they spent on this.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it I AM GOING TO THEIR SITE AND LOOKING AT THE COMMENTS FOR THIS
InkWeaver: I AM NOT
InkWeaver: I NEED THE LAST REMAINING BIT OF MY SANITY
Delcat: By the by, I'm screaming on the inside. Just so's y'all know.
Delcat: it sounds like
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: But guess what!
Zeiss Manifold: what
Delcat: Our next project has absolutely nothing to do with Ono!
Zeiss Manifold: i'm looking at the translator's site
Zeiss Manifold: even they have to admit that ono had to be on drugs for this stuff
Zeiss Manifold:
moonflow Says:
Oh
yes, this H-manga was really great! In spite of the fact that I’m
normally not too fond of dickgirls, this one is cute and those lolis
really something. Ah, I want one of this caliber, too!
Delcat: ...I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU INTERNET.
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: GUYS
Zeiss Manifold: I just realized
Zeiss Manifold: it's over.
Delcat: Is...is it gone forever?
Delcat: ...can we drink now?
Zeiss Manifold: Ono can't hurt us anymore.
Delcat: I need a hug.
InkWeaver: I...
InkWeaver: I need a hug too
Zeiss Manifold: *hugs*
InkWeaver: *hugs*
Delcat: *hugs*
Zeiss Manifold: This could be the start of something beautiful.
Delcat: Or the end of something godawful.
Zeiss Manifold: Well I'm going to get a healing shot of cream soda now
Delcat: I have to piss. With my beautiful, ordinary female genitalia.
Zeiss Manifold: TMI
Delcat: I AM REASSURING MYSELF
InkWeaver: LOLLLLL
Delcat: I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT SPROUTING A DICK
InkWeaver: Well
InkWeaver: if I had grown a dick since the last time I checked
InkWeaver: I would feel it right?
Delcat: I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
Delcat: I guess that's a wrap.
Zeiss Manifold: I guess so.
Delcat: When do you guys want to start on the next project?
Zeiss Manifold: Inky? Are you still there?
InkWeaver: Soon
Delcat: Thanks for providing the raw material, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: I'm... here.
InkWeaver: Boggled, but here.
Zeiss Manifold: My...well, I can't say 'pleasure', but you know what I mean
Zeiss Manifold: And how is your childhood doing
Delcat:...if I totally and completely separate it out in my
head, I ALMOST can't smell the blood dripping from its violated anus.
Delcat: I'm probably going to have to curl into a ball and rue the day soon.
InkWeaver: LOL
InkWeaver: my crush is going home for the weekend
InkWeaver: I'm gonna be bored without him
InkWeaver: I'm lame
Zeiss Manifold: you survived Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: you're not lame
Delcat: I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE MORE LESBIAN SEX INKY
Zeiss Manifold: that takes strength
Zeiss Manifold: HEY CAN I JOIN IN WITH THE SEXXINGS
InkWeaver: pssst
Zeiss Manifold: I HEAR ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME
InkWeaver: Delly
Delcat: Zeiss, that took strength. Past tense. We are now dried husks of whimpering kittens.
EPILOGUE
Delcat: Oh...and Zeiss...
Delcat: ...since reading this and Anal Justice, I've been...been noticing things in the manga...
Zeiss Manifold: ...yes...
Delcat: ...like how everyone teases Ash about liking older girls and Misty liking younger boys...
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Delcat: ...like, pre-pubescent boys, and I thought it was a cute crush when I was twelve, and...
Delcat: ...curse you, Zeiss. Curse you and your children and your children's children.
Zeiss Manifold: haha I don't have any kids
Delcat: CURSE YOUR SPERM.
Zeiss Manifold: NOW THAT'S JUST WASTING CURSE POTENTIAL
Delcat: I dunno, cursing someone's sperm might actually be pretty badass.
Delcat: Like, make it all drippy green and smelling of durians.
Zeiss Manifold: that would actually be a cool superpower
Delcat: If I could curse someone, I would so do that.
Zeiss Manifold: like you could turn it into acid and stuff
Delcat: I'm actually convinced that all the experimentation Hojo did on Vincent turned his semen into acid
Delcat: And that is why he cannot ever be on top.
Delcat: When he shoots, he SHOOTS. Like through your SPINE.
Zeiss Manifold: so this is what girls think about
Delcat: Only if they're as lame as I am.
Zeiss Manifold: oh come on
Zeiss Manifold: most girls I know couldn't stand even one page of Ariake
Delcat: Although my girly-girl buddy and I once had a fandom conversation that ended in "So what this boils down to is dead guys give great head", so.
Delcat: Oh, I mean, like, fandom-lame. Dorky.
Delcat: ...but thank you<3
TAKE ME TO ARIAKE!: END
Page 159
Delcat: Is the chapter like an epilogue?
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's unrelated
Zeiss Manifold: haven't read it yet
Delcat: I'm game if you two are, but I don't wanna hold you two up, either.
Zeiss Manifold: I've got nothing else to do
Zeiss Manifold: and I think Inky is intent on staying up
Zeiss Manifold: So Y/N?
InkWeaver: Y
Zeiss Manifold: alright
InkWeaver: And then we can be DONE WITH THIS SHIT
InkWeaver: sdjfklsdjfdskljf WOOHOO
Page 160
Zeiss Manifold: Gee, sudden otaku rage in three panels
Delcat: For a second, I thought it was implied that the ENTIRE MANGA was JUST A TV SHOW
Delcat: Which almost would be a relief, really...
Zeiss Manifold: It would explain a lot
Zeiss Manifold: and what is it with these damn penises
Zeiss Manifold: are they supposed to be some sort of narrative device?
Page 161
Delcat: I think so. I think they're like the "APPLAUSE" signs they have for live TV shows. When you the penis lights up, you cum!
Zeiss Manifold: I'd be fucking exhausted by the end of this if that was the case
Zeiss Manifold: Okay, now we're in hell.
Delcat: I-Inky? Are they talking to you too?
Delcat: Are the little dickgirls asking you if you've masturbated today?
Delcat: OR HAVE I FINALLY LOST IT
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was crossdressers that didn't have rights in the Ono-verse...
Delcat: So apparently once gay rights are achieved, they start subdividing into more specific rights.
Zeiss Manifold: I think I'd be less surprised by someone being a lesbian than I would someone being a dickgirl
Delcat: The Futanari Lesbian Voice Actor Rights parade wasn't very popular. All the text on their signs was all squished up from all the words.
Zeiss Manifold: I can't figure out if this is supposed to be subtle social commentary, or what
Zeiss Manifold: I should also mention that the name of this chapter is "Black Rx", for what it's worth
Delcat: Black Prescription? For...what?
Page 162
Delcat: Inky, when I come over, can we strip naked and watch anime?
Zeiss Manifold: How come I'm never invited to your crazy naked anime parties
Zeiss Manifold: damn kids
Zeiss Manifold: Is that a VG console? I thought it was a ham radio.
Page 163
Delcat: ...a competetive H-game. That is actually a brilliant idea. I imagine J-List has already jumped on the prospect.
InkWeaver: You know
InkWeaver: I'm not really down for the stripping naked part of the anime suggestion
InkWeaver: just thinking you might want to make a good impression on my parents
Delcat: But that's how BEST FRIENDS do it! The Internet wouldn't lie!
InkWeaver: kay wait I was AFK for a moment
InkWeaver: who is this Utari chick.
Zeiss Manifold: The pigtailed one
Delcat: We have a new set of dickgirls. They do voice acting for hentai games. That's as far as I can care.
InkWeaver: Is that it?
Delcat: Actually, that's further than I can care, but I tried just for you, Inky~
Zeiss Manifold: Don't go all ~ on me
Page 164
Delcat: ~ ~ ~
Delcat: THEY ARE WORMS
Delcat: oh hey you know what
Delcat: I'm really surprised that Hikari didn't end up growing a dick.
Zeiss Manifold: You are right
Zeiss Manifold: This manga has drifted into 'smile and nod' land
Delcat: At the Naked Round Table of the Naked Board Meeting...
InkWeaver: I just don't even know what's going on anymore.
InkWeaver: I am not even compelled to be funny about this horseshit
Zeiss Manifold: Pfft. Typical futanari lesbian manners!
InkWeaver: WHY WON'T IT END..
Delcat: Just look at the pretty pictures, honey, look at the pretty pictures.
Page 165
Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Delcat: You know what would be fun, guys?
Delcat: Instead of reading this, we could have a sing-song./
Zeiss Manifold: OKAY
Delcat: We could do Lion Sleeps Tonight.
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
Delcat: I could do the low part, and Inky could do the high part, and Zeiss, you can do the chorus!
Zeiss Manifold: A WHEENA WHACKA
InkWeaver: EEEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEE-EEEE-EE
InkWeaver: EEE-OOO-BOMBAWAY
Zeiss Manifold: WHEEEABUMBUAY
InkWeaver: or whatEVER the fuck they're signing
Delcat: Hey-up BOOOOY, A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: singing*
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ROFL
InkWeaver: WHAT
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ARE WE EVEN TYPING
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE DICKGIRL CUMS TONIGHT
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE SEMEN'S SHINING BRIGHT
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
Delcat: ooo-WEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE-WEEM-O-WU
Delcat: oh hell it's still not over is it
InkWeaver: I always forget what comes next
InkWeaver: 'cause in Lion King
InkWeaver: Timon and Pumba get interrupted right about here.
Zeiss Manifold: ON THE BOAT
Zeiss Manifold: THE PEACEFUL BOAT
Delcat: Then the dickgirl jizzes in someone's ear, I think.
Zeiss Manifold: okay i'm all sung out
Page 166
Zeiss Manifold: are her tits bending of her own accord
Zeiss Manifold: Asumin: The Last Titbender
Delcat: Dude, did she just...age like twenty years, or are we looking at a different character, or oh God I don't even care.
Zeiss Manifold: I think these are different characters
Zeiss Manifold: I imagine this girl just dumping a basket of condoms onto the street like a twisted version of a ticker-tape parade
Delcat: wtf. She ordered a THOUSAND condoms and it's only because she got THREE TIMES her order that she's having trouble getting rid of them?
Page 167
Delcat: Well, they ARE hermaphrodites.
Delcat: I wonder if snails have this kind of porn.
InkWeaver: oh wait
Zeiss Manifold: honestly, the dialogue is just white noise now
InkWeaver: are these those different chicks again
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: what if these chicks
InkWeaver: are the offspring of Yasuko and Hikari?!
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE: THE NEXT GENERATION
Delcat: ...you know what? I think that's actually what it's supposed to be.
Zeiss Manifold: oh god
Delcat: Remember all that hinting about babies?
Delcat: We're seeing two out of a clutch of 50,000.
Delcat: The earth has already been conquered, zombie-style.
Zeiss Manifold: are you saying that Ono has gone and retconned all his works into one universe?
Delcat: They're voice-acting for the daily Morale Booster Audio Drama for the proles.
InkWeaver: holy god
InkWeaver: you're probably right
Delcat: Not quite. He draws random Oddishes all over his Pokemon manga.
InkWeaver: I wonder
InkWeaver: what the doctors did
InkWeaver: when the children were born with vaginas AND penises
Delcat: ...Oddishes...Oddishes are my favorite Pokemon. I always liked how...how he drew them just for me...and...WAAAAAH
Zeiss Manifold: but then...are Ash and friends still wandering around Dickgirl Land?
InkWeaver: "Congratulations, Mrs. Yasuko! It's a girl -- uhm, boy, uhm -- oh dear."
Delcat: GUYS MY CHILDHOOD IS BEING KNOCKED DOWN THE STAIRS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Zeiss Manifold: YOU MUST STAY ON TARGET
Zeiss Manifold: TAKE YOUR SADNESS AND TRANSFORM IT INTO SPORK
InkWeaver: FOCUS GRASSHOPPAH
Delcat: I SPENT ALL DAY SCANNING HIS POKEMON MANGA AND THE WHIPLASH IS MAKING MY TITS BLEED SPOILED MILK
Page 168
Delcat: Oh hey I still have some Mike's in the fridge. Carry on :-D
Zeiss Manifold: YOUR COCK IS HUGE. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS
Delcat: It had better. I mean, really, where ARE they putting those?
Zeiss Manifold: wait this one seems to have balls for some reason
Delcat: A mutation after the inevitable nuclear holocaust.
Zeiss Manifold: ...is Ono going to give us a lesson on safe sex?
Delcat: Wait, no, I'm thinking of the next project, sorry.
Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS AN AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL AFTER ALL
Delcat: Why are there cats all over the place?
Delcat: Did we just HAVE to throw in kenonomimi on top of everything else?
InkWeaver: hmmm
InkWeaver: allow me to analyze this page.
InkWeaver: Well.
InkWeaver: What I gather from this page
InkWeaver: is that in the last panel
InkWeaver: that girl has been punched in the cunt.
Delcat: I mean, uh--OH GOD THIS MANGA IS DRIVING ME SO CRAZY I SEE PUSSY EVERYWHERE
Zeiss Manifold: I think Ono should either sex or talk to concentrate onbecause when he does both at the same time it just does not work
Delcat: ...I wish I hadn't bothered to correct that oversight.
Zeiss Manifold: but they're arguing about condoms!
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S AMUSEMENT
InkWeaver: guys
Delcat: She looks like she's gonna bite her head off, mantis-style.
Page 169
Delcat: SEE PUSSY
Zeiss Manifold: no fair you read ahead
InkWeaver: If I visit japan
Zeiss Manifold: ...why don't these people have pants on
Delcat: It was an accident!
InkWeaver: will I see live dickgirl concerts
Zeiss Manifold: I mean seriously who is the fucking target audience for this thing
Delcat: I'm surprised the cats don't have balls. Hell, the cats have balls in kids' manga in Japan, and they don't have balls here? I just don't get it.
Delcat: Panel 4 is seriously creeping me out and I'm not sure why. I mean, besides the obvious.
InkWeaver: she's just
InkWeaver: dancing around
InkWeaver: with no pants
InkWeaver: WITH NO
InkWeaver: PANTS
InkWeaver: I mean look at this
InkWeaver: the concert
InkWeaver: has a giant cat suit person
InkWeaver: who is this concert for?!
InkWeaver: please tell me it's not children
InkWeaver: I might cry.
Zeiss Manifold: probably for the "MOE~" crowd
Zeiss Manifold: but I doubt that many of them would be willing to leave their basements.
Page 170
Zeiss Manifold: this will not end well
Delcat: When you hear the tone, turn the page! *flip*
InkWeaver: UGH
Delcat: Is she jizzing out her nose?
InkWeaver: CAN HE PLEASE
InkWeaver: JSUT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE
Delcat: BECAUSE THEY HAVE DICKS AND PUSSIES
Delcat: AND PUSSIES WITH PUSSIES AND PUSSIES WITH DICKS AND
Delcat: yeah okay I've got nothing it's all blending together
Zeiss Manifold: YO DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE PUSSIES
InkWeaver: SO
InkWeaver: WE PUT DICKS IN YOUR PUSSY
InkWeaver: "but I -- "
InkWeaver: SO YOU CAN FUCK WHILE YOU FUCK
InkWeaver: "But that's -- "
InkWeaver: COOL HUH?
InkWeaver: "No."
Delcat: I bet you could fit like a hundred dicks in THAT pussy.
Delcat: oh God I made a fursuit funny KILL ME.
Delcat: Enough to pay for our therapy?
Zeiss Manifold: pffft, therapy is for losers
Delcat: OH GOD I FLIPPED AHEAD WITHOUT THINKING AND IT'S RAPING MY EYES
Zeiss Manifold: D=
Delcat: AND MY EVERYTHING ELSE
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T SPOIL IT
InkWeaver: I CAN'T FLIP AHEAD ASKJDASKLDJ
Zeiss Manifold: for the record, I would be quite terrified if a giant anthropormophic cat offered to wipe off my sperm
Delcat: That's a good sign, honey. That's a good sign.
Page 171
Delcat: At...at least it doesn't have...little barbs on it.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it
Delcat: I DON'T WANT TO.
Zeiss Manifold: I LIKE cats, goddamnit
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: THIS IS TEARING ME APAAAAART
Zeiss Manifold: cats don't deserve this
Delcat: I LIKE ELECTRIC TALE OF PIKACHU. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL.
InkWeaver: I LIKE MY BRAIN
InkWeaver: HOW DO YOU BOTH THINK I FEEL
InkWeaver: okay okay
InkWeaver: TWO MORE PAGES
Delcat: All this time, whenever he drew Meowth, he was thinking OH HEY I COULD DO THIS WITH SEX
Delcat: ...I seriously think we cannot add anything to this page.
Zeiss Manifold: Except that
Delcat: It stands alone. Like a horrible cheese.
Zeiss Manifold: I do not trust this cat at all
</a>Page 172
InkWeaver: I do not trust ANYTHING anymore.
Delcat: Oh, meanie meanie fucks-my-ass, nyuuuu~!
Zeiss Manifold: I bet these people actually came to see Journey
Delcat: There's some douche in the front row yelling FUCK FREEBIRD
InkWeaver: "Oh hye did you get tickets to that cover band for tonight?"
InkWeaver: "Yeah, I heard they're pretty ENTERTAINING."
Zeiss Manifold: You know, I actually feel kind of disappointed in Ono for resorting to the old "I AM RAPING YOU IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND YOU ARE LIKING IT" chestnut
Delcat: I think they have actually come to their senses and are rushing the stage to bludgeon their dickgirl overlords to death with their glowsticks.
InkWeaver: "Oh yeah, I heard they cover beatles songs and everything."
Delcat: It is a glowing ocean of justice and blood and jizz.
InkWeaver: "I heard they don't cover much. That's why I got the tickets."
InkWeaver: "...what?"
Delcat: *rimshot*
InkWeaver: "You'll see."
InkWeaver: *an hour later*
InkWeaver: "YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. I WILL NEVER GET THE JIZZ OUT OF MY NICE SHIRT."
Delcat: You know how after you've been to the beach, you spent weeks finding sand in weird parts of your clothes/anatomy?
InkWeaver: yeah
Zeiss Manifold: D=
InkWeaver: ...D=
Delcat: Find+replace "beach" with "this concert" and "sand" with "slowly congealing jizz".
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: *sob*
Page 173
Zeiss Manifold: and that's pretty much the whole story right there
Delcat: The snare drums build to a crescendo, and the lights go down. There's a scream, a long moment of silence. The house lights go up. Exit, stage left.
InkWeaver: Wow.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
Delcat: Also there is a dick growing out of that lady's eye.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
InkWeaver: you know
InkWeaver: the lifeless cat eyes behind her
Delcat: OH MY GOD
Delcat: THE EYES
InkWeaver: is just the perfect backdrop
Delcat: I JUST REALIZED
InkWeaver: like what we're all feeling right now.
Delcat: THEY'RE THE SAME BUTTON EYES FROM THE HORRIBLE DOLL-RAPE SCENE IN VOLUME EIGHT OF BATTLE ROYALE
Delcat: AND I THINK THE DOLL-RAPE WAS LESS TRAUMATIZING
Zeiss Manifold: Button eyes?
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, actually.
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU TELLING ME CORALINE IS GOING TO SHOW UP
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: SHE CAN'T BE DEFILED BY THIS MADNESS.
Page 174
Delcat: ...wait.
Delcat: Did we just...totally leave behind the catfucking?
Zeiss Manifold: we already had the full-page orgasm
InkWeaver: Seriously. I just ...
InkWeaver: This is beyond the realm of sense or caring.
InkWeaver: I am dispassionately reading these pages and then shrugging.
InkWeaver: They're sitting around naked.
Delcat: But...is nobody ever going to mention it again? Is it just going to BLAM itself away?
Zeiss Manifold: talking about bread
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Zeiss Manifold: everyone, on the count of three...
InkWeaver: BIG
InkWeaver: LIPPED
InkWeaver: ALLIGATOR
InkWeaver: MOMENT!
Delcat: LIPPED
InkWeaver: oh darn
InkWeaver: one more time
InkWeaver: BIG
Zeiss Manifold: B-BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Delcat: I thought we were trading off sorry here I go
Delcat: mmmmmmBIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
InkWeaver: No I thought so too but then no one did anything and askdjfsklfjdsfklj
InkWeaver: yeah.
InkWeaver: the mmmm at the beginning is essential.
Delcat: Just big lipped alligators in general here is what we're saying folks
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Delcat : I feel like this page would make sense if I spoke Japanese, but I just don't care enough to try to figure it out.
Delcat: So what the hell is left?
Delcat: Another totally unrelated arc? Omake?
Zeiss Manifold: I think there's a 'buns' pun in that page somwhere
Zeiss Manifold: well let's see
Page 175
Delcat: God, I want melon bread now.
InkWeaver: The only thing I care about at this point is whether or not we'll see if Ono's brain leaked out onto these pages.
Zeiss Manifold: HOLY
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING
Zeiss Manifold: SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: ANAL JUSTICE 3
Zeiss Manifold: OR 1 AT LEAST
Zeiss Manifold: THE REDUX
Delcat: NOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: FLASHBACKS
InkWeaver: LIKE 'NAM
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: MINA, GET AWAY
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS BOOK
InkWeaver: ZEISS YOU HAVE TO BREATHE
InkWeaver: BREATHE, MAN
InkWeaver: CALM YOURSELF
Zeiss Manifold: alright alright already
InkWeaver: DELCAT, HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN BEFORE HE HURTS HIMSELF.
Delcat: I'VE GOT FURRY HANDCUFFS WILL THEY HELP
Zeiss Manifold: I calmed down one post ago
Zeiss Manifold: geez
Delcat: TOO LATE IT'S BONDAGE TIME
Zeiss Manifold: ...are you guys planning to rape me
Zeiss Manifold: after all this
InkWeaver: It's not rape if you orgasm.
InkWeaver: ...right?!
InkWeaver: I'm gonna get stabbed
Delcat: Personally? No, of course not. That's what I hired those strapping young male prostitutes for.
Zeiss Manifold: I do like how even Ono himself sums up his work with BUTTSEX
Delcat: Zeiss, I have your signature on some papers here...
Zeiss Manifold: no you don't
Zeiss Manifold: that's my evil twin
Delcat: Yes I do
Zeiss Manifold: Meiss Zanifold
InkWeaver: GASP
InkWeaver: SHOCK
InkWeaver: MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...This form has the Chucky Cheese logo on it anyway
Delcat: Well, he'd better get his ass over here, I paid good money for those prostitutes.
InkWeaver: HOW WILL I KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE REAL YOU
Zeiss Manifold: Just shout "Meiss", geez
Delcat: Otherwise what am I going to use them f...oh wait I think I have an idea.
Delcat: ...were we doing something?
Zeiss Manifold: Del has a wonderful, horrible idea
Zeiss Manifold: okay now what
Page 176
Delcat: A wonderful, horrible, jizz-covered idea!
Delcat: I'm going to have them do my laundry :D
Zeiss Manifold: OH MY GOD I'M ACTUALLY GLAD TO SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN
Delcat: I...I feel like I've been here before.
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao, Icchan...how can I forget them...
InkWeaver: WAit a minute
InkWeaver: is Ono going all meta on us?
InkWeaver: NO ONO
InkWeaver: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED
InkWeaver: THIS IS
InkWeaver: sdklfjdsklfjsdlfkj
InkWeaver: BRAINSPLOSIONNNN
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao Tachibana. Noted perverted high-school student. Tangled up in the cocks of progress.
Delcat: Hello, girlcock, my old friend
Delcat: I've come to jizz with you again
InkWeaver: because a dickgirl softly creeping
InkWeaver: sprayed her seed while I was sleeping
Delcat: Because the hard-ons softly creeping
Delcat: Dang, you beat me to it while I was trying to remember how it went.
Zeiss Manifold: And the doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo cocks
Zeiss Manifold: something something cocks
Zeiss Manifold: In the balls...of silence
InkWeaver: beautiful, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: OR SHOULD I SAY MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: DAMN YOU
Zeiss Manifold: OR SHOULD YOU SAY
Zeiss Manifold: TOSHIHIRO ONO
Delcat: GASPY! Is...is it true?
InkWeaver: I THINK
InkWeaver: MY WORLD JUST IMPLODED
InkWeaver: well if that were true, that would be the funniest fucking thing ever.
InkWeaver: Like, if you really were Ono.
InkWeaver: Snarking your own fanfiction.
InkWeaver: er, manga.
InkWeaver: Like MADNESS
InkWeaver: .
Delcat: Didn't a Goosebumps book end like that?
Zeiss Manifold: I'll ask Meiss the next time I see him
Delcat: The one about the dickgirl porn?
InkWeaver: I think I read that one - oh wait no
InkWeaver: no
InkWeaver: that was about the kid's dad
InkWeaver: being a plant
InkWeaver: Don't Go in the Dickgirl
InkWeaver: or something
Page 177
Delcat: Yeah, and in the end, HE was the tentacle monster.
Delcat: I--wait, was the robot cat maid in it? I don't remember a robot cat maid.
Zeiss Manifold: there wasn't one
Zeiss Manifold: it was probably another short or something
Delcat: Or he's padding his part.
Zeiss Manifold: also, I am hearing this narration in the voice of the Disney announcer guy
Delcat: "Robot maid girls! Kenonomimi! Mermaids! And a hundred elephants!"
Zeiss Manifold: I'm tempted to think the robot catmaid might be a joke
Zeiss Manifold: it's too stupid a premise even for Ono
Delcat: Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: yes?
Delcat: "Oh no, he's running out of cum! Let's fix it by letting him blow all of us!"
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Zeiss
Delcat: You mean too VANILLA a premise even for Ono.
InkWeaver: just post the next couple of pages in succession
InkWeaver: I have to understand where this is going
Zeiss Manifold: You wait your turn like everyone else
Page 178
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A GUNDAM
Zeiss Manifold: *is shot*
InkWeaver: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
InkWeaver: BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH SHIT I DON"T CARE ABOUT I CAN'T EVEN BE FUNNY
Zeiss Manifold: oh no
Zeiss Manifold: ...is that Lagann off to the side?
Page 179
InkWeaver: let me tell you a secret
InkWeaver: secretly
InkWeaver: this entire time
InkWeaver: every time we snark
Zeiss Manifold: yes
InkWeaver: I've been fapping.
InkWeaver: Ono has unlocked the safe of my sexuality.
Zeiss Manifold: B-but...
InkWeaver: Like Pandora's dickgirl box.
Delcat: "...and that's the story of how Little Red Dickinghood fucked the wolf into submission. The end!"
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was nice seeing Nanao and friends again
Zeiss Manifold: It's been so long
Delcat: God, there was a Little Red Riding Hood h-manga on /d/ tonight and it was pleasant and quaint compared to this.
InkWeaver: OMG
InkWeaver: WAIT
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: DON'T
InkWeaver: TELL ME
InkWeaver: THAT THIS
InkWeaver: sdkjlfsdklfjsdkfj
InkWeaver: Guys.
InkWeaver: Guys
Delcat: Yes, Inky?
InkWeaver: Take Me to Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: no
InkWeaver: is just a story the two of them were reading.
Delcat: ...no.
InkWeaver: It's just a porn doujinshi
InkWeaver: from that same damn convention
InkWeaver: that they reference in Ariake
Delcat: BUT THEN
Delcat: AND HOW
InkWeaver: Ono is trying to pull some fucking meta shit on us.
InkWeaver: In fact, the random switchover?
InkWeaver: That's just them reading a different doujinshi.
InkWeaver: I seriously think that's what this is.
Delcat: ...BUT WHYYYYY.
Zeiss Manifold: THE JOY OF DICKGIRLS IS ALSO THE JOY OF REBIRTH
Zeiss Manifold: ONO PRESENTS: THE END OF ARIAKE
Delcat: YOU DAMN DIRTY APES
Delcat: WHYYYYYYY
Zeiss Manifold: Besides, Inky, look at that book.
Zeiss Manifold: It's the size of a paperback.
InkWeaver: Okay. I have to know.
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: I think manga like this are printed a bit bigger
InkWeaver: NEXT PAGE
InkWeaver: NOW
Page 180
Delcat : you are rationalizing Zeiss
Delcat: you are rationalizing THE TERRIBLE TRUTH OF ARIAKE
InkWeaver: ...
Delcat: oh God it's all spiralling down the drain
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ..
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...I'm
Delcat: WE'VE GONE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's more like the end of Akira.
Zeiss Manifold: This whole book is just Ono's hallucinations after Tetsuo swallowed him
Delcat: The inexplicable anime ending or the triumphant manga ending?
Zeiss Manifold: the anime.
InkWeaver: never watched it.
Delcat: Yeah, there's nothing triumphant about it.
Delcat: the guy
Delcat: like explodes
Delcat: and says I AM ALIVE
Delcat: because they tried to cram six long volumes into ninety minutes
Zeiss Manifold: and it didn't work well
Zeiss Manifold: KINDA LIKE THIS
Delcat: and the only solution was for everyone to explode
Delcat: Is...IS this the end? Does it go on?
InkWeaver: I'm utterly defeated.
Delcat: ...are we going to explode?
InkWeaver: I snarked all that, and it wasn't even real
InkWeaver: WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING
InkWeaver: THANK GOD IT WASN'T REAL
InkWeaver: THANK GOD
Zeiss Manifold: THE LAST PAGE
Page 181
Delcat: I'm afraid guys
Delcat: THE UNIVERSE
Delcat: I AM ALIVE
Delcat: *EXPLODES*
Zeiss Manifold: I
Zeiss Manifold: AM
Zeiss Manifold: ONO
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I DON'T
Delcat: 99% of those pictures are of unsuspecting schoolchildren aren't they
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: WHO
InkWeaver: HE TOOK PICTURES OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BUILDINGS
InkWeaver: PEOPLE IN PRISON WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM
Delcat: Would anyone care to join me in some communal fetal-position sobbing?
Zeiss Manifold: Well at least we got to see Icchan and Nanao agaGOD FUCKING DAMMIT
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING SHIT-ASS CHRIST-MUNGING CUNT PISS
Delcat: ZEISS YOU ARE GOING STOCKHOLM ON US
InkWeaver: *bursts into tears*
Zeiss Manifold: i'm sorry guys
InkWeaver: ZEISS IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
Zeiss Manifold: I thought this would be like Anal Justice 2
InkWeaver: you couldn't haev knwon
Zeiss Manifold: and be all whimsical and stuff
Zeiss Manifold: and instead...
Zeiss Manifold: FUCK
Delcat: Fuck, man. Just...fuck.
InkWeaver: I'm...
InkWeaver: stunned.
InkWeaver: how are we even supposed to interpret this ending
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Was my theory right? I don't even know
Zeiss Manifold: I MEAN IT WAS JUST ONO BEING A GIANT FUCKING OTAKU ALL THE TIME
Delcat: Like a slaughterhouse cow when they hit it with the mallet stunned?
Zeiss Manifold: NO PLOT, NO CHARACTERS, NO NADA
Delcat: 'cause I think that's where I am right now too.
InkWeaver: moo.
Delcat: ...Zeiss?
InkWeaver: HOW
InkWeaver: DO WE EVEN END THIS SNARK
InkWeaver: THERE IS NO WAY
Zeiss Manifold: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL
Delcat: I KNOW
Delcat: Zeiss, we need to do the RAMchip thing.
Delcat: It is the only way.
Zeiss Manifold: I FEEL LIKE THIS
Zeiss Manifold:
Delcat: ONLY THE TRADITION OF OUR FOREFATHERS CAN SAVE US NOW.
Delcat: MAKE US YOUR BOTS ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Zeiss Manifold: I DON'T KNOW HOW
Delcat: ...okay, I'll play Joel.
InkWeaver: wat
InkWeaver: whoops
InkWeaver: I just said EWWW really loud at that pic
InkWeaver: and my roommate is sleeping XD
Delcat: Inky, if you can name one good thing and one bad thing about this manga, I'll give you a cookie.
Zeiss Manifold: well there are two more pages left, but they're the credits and translator's notes respectively
InkWeaver: good thing -
Delcat: And maybe also some therapy.
InkWeaver: Ono is good at scenery.
InkWeaver: bad thing -
InkWeaver: FUCKING FUCKITY DICKGIRLS FUCKING MINORS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*
Credits
Delcat:Delcat: Zeiss, your turn.
Zeiss Manifold: ...BOATS
Delcat: And the bad thing?
Zeiss Manifold: ...what they did on the BOATS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*
Zeiss Manifold: om nom nom
Delcat: I think we've learned a valuable lesson here, kids.
Translator’s Notes
Delcat: Just think...just THINK how many HOURS they spent on this.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it I AM GOING TO THEIR SITE AND LOOKING AT THE COMMENTS FOR THIS
InkWeaver: I AM NOT
InkWeaver: I NEED THE LAST REMAINING BIT OF MY SANITY
Delcat: By the by, I'm screaming on the inside. Just so's y'all know.
Delcat: it sounds like
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: But guess what!
Zeiss Manifold: what
Delcat: Our next project has absolutely nothing to do with Ono!
Zeiss Manifold: i'm looking at the translator's site
Zeiss Manifold: even they have to admit that ono had to be on drugs for this stuff
Zeiss Manifold:
moonflow Says:
Oh
yes, this H-manga was really great! In spite of the fact that I’m
normally not too fond of dickgirls, this one is cute and those lolis
really something. Ah, I want one of this caliber, too!
Delcat: ...I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU INTERNET.
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: GUYS
Zeiss Manifold: I just realized
Zeiss Manifold: it's over.
Delcat: Is...is it gone forever?
Delcat: ...can we drink now?
Zeiss Manifold: Ono can't hurt us anymore.
Delcat: I need a hug.
InkWeaver: I...
InkWeaver: I need a hug too
Zeiss Manifold: *hugs*
InkWeaver: *hugs*
Delcat: *hugs*
Zeiss Manifold: This could be the start of something beautiful.
Delcat: Or the end of something godawful.
Zeiss Manifold: Well I'm going to get a healing shot of cream soda now
Delcat: I have to piss. With my beautiful, ordinary female genitalia.
Zeiss Manifold: TMI
Delcat: I AM REASSURING MYSELF
InkWeaver: LOLLLLL
Delcat: I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT SPROUTING A DICK
InkWeaver: Well
InkWeaver: if I had grown a dick since the last time I checked
InkWeaver: I would feel it right?
Delcat: I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
Delcat: I guess that's a wrap.
Zeiss Manifold: I guess so.
Delcat: When do you guys want to start on the next project?
Zeiss Manifold: Inky? Are you still there?
InkWeaver: Soon
Delcat: Thanks for providing the raw material, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: I'm... here.
InkWeaver: Boggled, but here.
Zeiss Manifold: My...well, I can't say 'pleasure', but you know what I mean
Zeiss Manifold: And how is your childhood doing
Delcat:...if I totally and completely separate it out in my
head, I ALMOST can't smell the blood dripping from its violated anus.
Delcat: I'm probably going to have to curl into a ball and rue the day soon.
InkWeaver: LOL
InkWeaver: my crush is going home for the weekend
InkWeaver: I'm gonna be bored without him
InkWeaver: I'm lame
Zeiss Manifold: you survived Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: you're not lame
Delcat: I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE MORE LESBIAN SEX INKY
Zeiss Manifold: that takes strength
Zeiss Manifold: HEY CAN I JOIN IN WITH THE SEXXINGS
InkWeaver: pssst
Zeiss Manifold: I HEAR ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME
InkWeaver: Delly
Delcat: Zeiss, that took strength. Past tense. We are now dried husks of whimpering kittens.
EPILOGUE
Delcat: Oh...and Zeiss...
Delcat: ...since reading this and Anal Justice, I've been...been noticing things in the manga...
Zeiss Manifold: ...yes...
Delcat: ...like how everyone teases Ash about liking older girls and Misty liking younger boys...
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Delcat: ...like, pre-pubescent boys, and I thought it was a cute crush when I was twelve, and...
Delcat: ...curse you, Zeiss. Curse you and your children and your children's children.
Zeiss Manifold: haha I don't have any kids
Delcat: CURSE YOUR SPERM.
Zeiss Manifold: NOW THAT'S JUST WASTING CURSE POTENTIAL
Delcat: I dunno, cursing someone's sperm might actually be pretty badass.
Delcat: Like, make it all drippy green and smelling of durians.
Zeiss Manifold: that would actually be a cool superpower
Delcat: If I could curse someone, I would so do that.
Zeiss Manifold: like you could turn it into acid and stuff
Delcat: I'm actually convinced that all the experimentation Hojo did on Vincent turned his semen into acid
Delcat: And that is why he cannot ever be on top.
Delcat: When he shoots, he SHOOTS. Like through your SPINE.
Zeiss Manifold: so this is what girls think about
Delcat: Only if they're as lame as I am.
Zeiss Manifold: oh come on
Zeiss Manifold: most girls I know couldn't stand even one page of Ariake
Delcat: Although my girly-girl buddy and I once had a fandom conversation that ended in "So what this boils down to is dead guys give great head", so.
Delcat: Oh, I mean, like, fandom-lame. Dorky.
Delcat: ...but thank you<3
TAKE ME TO ARIAKE!: END