InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Two bros chillin in a hot tub"

Cal Kestis (justhiding) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2020-06-11 08:56:00

Entry tags:

active: ellie phimister, active: michelle jones, active: tony stark, inactive: abigail keener, inactive: cal kestis, inactive: jaina solo

...exactly how healthy are smoothies as meals? I discovered a place next to work and smoothies are way faster to eat. Gives me more time to play with my projects.

At least they taste better than the rations on Bracca.

[Tony]
Do I want to know why BD calls you Uncle Tony now?

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	deduce 2020-06-12 12:21 pm UTC (link)
	No, pretty sure it's just an excuse to belittle and talk down to people. There's a difference between important medical information and just being a dick. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

machinesrus
2020-06-12 09:33 pm UTC (link)

I actually put a huge amount of effort into trying to remain professional in the face of ongoing suspicion and hostility because I recognise that a lot of people have poor experiences with the medical and scientific fields - as have I.

I've lost count of how many times I've had my motives and ethics questioned in the last year, including multiple times by Cal, but I try as hard as I can to ignore it despite it being a particular sore point of mine due to the sacrifices I've had to make to keep my ethics intact and a family history of relatives being subjected to medical experimentation. I notice that three people gave the same warning about not replacing all meals, but I'm the only one he took offense to even though I'm also the only one who explained that I was basing that on people having done it before. So I wouldn't be shocked if a little bit of frustration starts to creep in eventually because I'm only fucking human and I get frustrated when people take offense to me trying to do a thankless job that I never wanted. One that you didn't want either, as I recall.

But no matter what people choose to think I'm going to keep doing my job, because I would rather make sure they have all the necessary information than let them put their health at risk because I'm scared that someone who's repeatedly shown they're never going to give me the benefit of the doubt might try to put the worst possible spin on my words. I might not be the perfect person for it but at least I'm willing to.

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justhiding
2020-06-12 09:49 pm UTC (link)

Whoa, hey. I don't remember questioning your ethics or motives. Also, I did get short with MJ so clearly I had issues with 2 people telling me the same thing after someone else already told me. I told you the info you gave me was useful and then I may have given unsolicited advice about gauging your audience.

I never said I didn't trust your information. Sorry if I upset you.

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machinesrus
2020-06-12 10:04 pm UTC (link)

That's good to hear. Thank you. It's completely possible that sometimes I read too much into things as well, which is another reason I try not to react too much. I know I'm not the most people person all the time but I definitely don't think anyone is an idiot whatever they do or don't know. This really is stuff I would say to anyone because I have to make sure. I don't want anyone to get sick because I assumed something was obvious.

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justhiding
2020-06-12 10:19 pm UTC (link)

I get not being a people person. Look, I spent years fending for myself so I sometimes forget how to behave. It is an excuse and I know that, but I honestly wasn't trying to upset you. I wasn't trying to say you think others are idiots, I was trying to say people might take offense at advice they don't want...and promptly made my point by upsetting you.

I can appreciate you helping people.

I still don't understand how I questioned your ethics and motives. If you explain it I can meditate on my behavior.

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machinesrus
2020-06-12 11:42 pm UTC (link)

The difference being you asked.

I recall you being one of the people who's questioned before why I would be interested in people's medical history or anonymised bio data. Which, again, is understandable and I'm happy to answer questions especially when I'm asking a favour, but it comes across poorly when the interaction consists of nothing but questioning without even a perfunctory acknowledgement of the explanation.

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	justhiding 2020-06-12 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry. ...so because I asked a question and failed to say "thanks" after you gave an answer you have decided I am bad news. Got it. I won't ask you any more questions so I don't run the risk of upsetting you. For the record, not answering had nothing to do with you, your ethics, or motives. But clearly I need to work on manners now that I have time. Noted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

machinesrus
2020-06-13 12:38 am UTC (link)

I'm not saying not to ask questions. I try to be transparent, I want people to ask if something isn't clear. I'm trying to explain how it felt as a recent example that's easy to remember. If I'm misinterpreting things, that's great. I come from somewhere it was dangerous not to notice even tiny things like that, and as much as I've managed to adjust - I sure as hell wouldn't have been even having this conversation before a few months ago - it doesn't all just go away and it's especially not going to if I don't figure out where clashes of perspective like this are happening.

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	deduce 2020-06-12 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe as the adult here, if someone is 'questioning' you, don't engage. Someone already told him not to substitute all meals, he said he wasn't. I don't think 'medical disclaimers' were needed in the situation. Try learning where your pushing of information is required and where it isn't. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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