InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "IM IN UR HEDER MAKIN U READ ME"

Landon Kirby (mopheadedhobbit) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2020-01-10 00:49:00

Entry tags:

active: damon salvatore, active: freddy freeman, active: hope mikaelson, active: tony stark, inactive: landon kirby, inactive: mal bertha

[Search Party]

Just want to say thanks. A lot. I found Hope and while she's still not okay in a lot of ways at least she's back where she should be.

[Hope]

You doing okay? You can stay with me as long as you want. Permanently, even. We can fool the Entity somehow. Maybe.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-11 04:59 am UTC (link)
	Alright, then, I’ll leave that to you. I like having you close. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-11 05:04 am UTC (link)
	I definitely don't hate it. Especially after everything lately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-11 05:37 am UTC (link)
	I sleep a lot better knowing you're okay. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-11 05:45 am UTC (link)
	I didn't know you were having trouble sleeping. I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-11 05:47 am UTC (link)
	Just when I didn't know where you were. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-11 05:54 am UTC (link)
	I was guessing it was my fault. I didn't mean to mess things up for you so much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-11 05:55 am UTC (link)
	It's not your fault, Hope. And you didn't mess anything up. People just worry when they love someone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-11 04:19 pm UTC (link)
	You've got to stop being so nice about this. Yell at me. Tell me how selfish I was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-11 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Nope. I mean, everyone’s selfish sometimes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-12 03:12 pm UTC (link)
	So leaving and not telling you where I am is better on your scale than not telling you about us meeting your mom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	Why do you want me to be mad at you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-12 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	Because I want things to be back to normal. Our version of normal, but still normal. We have fights. Then we make up. I won't run just because you get mad. And if you are mad at me, I want you to let it out rather than have it fester somewhere and explode later. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 08:57 pm UTC (link)
	I'm trying to be understanding. But am I mad? Yes, I'm mad. Okay? Are you happy? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-12 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	That's great and all but to me it feels like eggshells and it's driving me crazy. Getting there. Which part are you the angriest about? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	Well, sorry I don't want you to run away again! What am I angriest about? I'm mad that you just left. Without a word. That you didn't think you could trust me. Why couldn't you trust me? It hurts. It's like I don't matter more than any of your friends, or hell, maybe I matter less. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-12 09:14 pm UTC (link)
	And I haven't given you a reason to trust I won't. But I also can't if you keep pretending everything's fine. Good. Stings, and we're definitely going to talk about that, but good. What else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	What else? Lots of bad stuff happens to you, Hope. No doubt. But you're not the only one who knows what suffering is. You're not the only one who's ever been hurt. And sometimes you hide away like nobody else can ever possibly understand what pain is and...well, it pisses me off. A lot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Landon | Hope

baculum
2020-01-12 09:32 pm UTC (link)

[ ... ] That's fair. But I do know you've been through shitty things, Landon. I know you've suffered. I didn't leave because I didn't think you'd understand, I left because it hurt so badly that the only way I knew how to get rid of it was to inflict pain on something else. I thought I needed to work that out on my own so no one else got hurt—which is why I didn't tell anyone, not even my friends who wouldn't even be my friends without you—but I ended up hurting people in a completely different way.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 09:35 pm UTC (link)
	I'd rather you yell at me. Hit me. Throw things at me. I'd rather you take it out on me than just disappear. I always worry that when people disappear that they're...you know. Dead. Or gone forever. I know what it feels like, Hope. I've run before too. And it always ends up bad. You have to stay and face it. You have to stay and learn to control it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Landon | Hope

baculum
2020-01-12 09:50 pm UTC (link)

It didn't seem fair to take it out on you when it wasn't your fault. I don't have rages like other girls, I don't just scream and cry. I rip through flesh with my magic like it's nothing. I could lift my hand and have you bleeding out of your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth in a heartbeat. ~~I scare myself~~ And just because you can't die, that doesn't mean I want to fall back on using you as my personal punching bag. That's not fair to either of us, and I love you too much to let that be our relationship. I'll find another way with some time.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-12 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe don't let it build up so much? Get mad earlier. At littler things. You're allowed to be upset, Hope. You're allowed to be upset over little things. You don't have to let yourself get angrier and angrier until you can't contain it anymore and you have to destroy things. Or just...you know...talk to me when you're upset. Instead of running. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-13 12:19 am UTC (link)
	I can try that. Should be easier to get upset over little things living with you. Toilet seats, unmade beds... And I'll talk through the big things. I can't promise I'll be perfect. Is that okay? Do you feel better? Anything else? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-13 12:34 am UTC (link)
	Just remember, I have abandonment issues too. You leaving like that and not telling me anything...it made me feel like crap, Hope. Like you didn't think you could trust me. Like when it came down to it you were all alone and you weren't. Yeah. I guess I feel better. Just don't do it again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope baculum 2020-01-13 12:39 am UTC (link)
	I know. I'm sorry. I was just convinced you'd be better off without me. That everyone would be better off without me. I felt like [ ... ] a plague or something. I'm not trying to rush either of us through this, I just don't want things to fester. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Landon \| Hope mopheadedhobbit 2020-01-13 12:44 am UTC (link)
	How about this. I won't pretend that something's not wrong when it is and you talk to me when things are wrong. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)