InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Yes, my mom goes to college"

Peter Parker (fromyoutube) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2019-09-20 21:22:00

Entry tags:

active: freddy freeman, active: morgan stark, active: peter parker, active: tony stark, inactive: cisco ramon

~~I didn't know there were so many Spider-Man jokes.~~

Because homework can wait! Some of the jokes that made me grin, guffaw, laugh, and snort today. ~~Well, the cle~~

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.

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machinesrus
2019-09-21 11:28 am UTC (link)

Mine mostly got good after they ran out of the standard "doctor, doctor" ones.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

A little girl came home from school one day and told her mother, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," her mother said nervously. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses, and the bird flies away.
The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound... might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.
A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	freemanspeaks 2019-09-22 12:21 am UTC (link)
	Doctor, doctor jokes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	machinesrus 2019-09-22 12:26 am UTC (link)
	"Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a goat." "How long has this been going on for?" "Since I was a kid." "Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed a piggy bank." "Take two of these pills and call me tomorrow if there's no change." "Doctor, doctor, there's a bone stuck in my throat." "Are you choking?" "No, there really is!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	freemanspeaks 2019-09-22 12:28 am UTC (link)
	These frogs are something else. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fromyoutube 2019-09-22 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	At least they have some slight range! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	machinesrus 2019-09-22 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	Apparently we just needed to wait a day or so for them to get creative. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fromyoutube 2019-09-22 10:55 pm UTC (link)
	I guess so! I'm sure it could be worse. :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	machinesrus 2019-09-22 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	Pretty sure the lack of sleep is just making everything funnier at this point too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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