InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Need a sign? This is it!"

Albert de Morcerf (Simba) (assumedposition) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2011-03-22 16:32:00

Entry tags:

!days 220-229, adachi emiri, albert de morcerf, allen walker, amami riku, ashikawa mitsuru, excel, fay d. flourite, kanda yuu, kurosaki tasuku, lelouch lamperouge, nakayama yayoi, rolo lamperouge, shinonome hangetsu, shinonome kon, takizawa yuta, yoi-te, {chaz villette}, {kenzi}, {kuchiha}, {meer campbell}, {nicholas d. wolfwood}, {rose tyler}, {ryner lute}, {the doctor}, {tokitoh minoru}

Who: Albert, anyone
Where: All over
When: Day 226, all morning (but not too early 8Db)
What: Social visits

[Today one member of Hydra is going around to all the dorms! Knocking on doors, saying hello, meeting new people, trading gossip, you name it. He's got a covered woven basket with him, too.]

[...Okay we lied. Maybe not ALL of them. He's probably conspicuously skipping Beardog and Lepus, but that's not to say that he has to ignore aforementioned team members if he meets one of their number on the road, right...?]

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pierrotdetous
2011-03-23 10:37 am UTC (link)

Delphinus, Pyxis, Hydra, Orion, and Cepheus were the wolves. Canis, Lacerta, Lepus, Cygnus, and Vulpecula were the sheep. People's teammates were picked off by wolves throughout the game. People that weren't playing got killed, too. But the wolves weren't the only ones killing. Sheep had to kill the people they suspected to be wolves.

I had to kill two good Lepus members you never met. My teammate, Cobra, was killed immediately by Delphinus. Friends of ours. Canis was wiped out, member by member.

Pyxis refused to die peacefully when they were voted out. Hydra were the ones that had to kill them. It looked like Hydra would be killed, leaving us with still no choice but to kill Pyxis, so I intervened. It took a long time for the girl I pinned to even believe anyone cared that she had to die. I think Blood still hasn't forgiven me for it, and she's taken it out on my teammates.

I ended up killing Claude, who was a wolf, with my own hands. One of my most important friends. Outside of the rounds. He was too obvious, you know? So I approached him with a bluff. I didn't expect him to transform into an uncontrollable monster.

Finally, Hydra's little girl, Spiky - I don't know if you ever met her. She was killed when she wasn't even playing, so Hydra went berserk and revealed themselves. Orion was the only team that was able to hold back on the urge to murder, and it's ripped at the others ever since, even after they were told that the transformation was deliberately different.

It all ended when Scowl and I were put up to vote against each other and I lost. Scowl couldn't do it, so his teammate beheaded me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 10:42 am UTC (link)
	[Eyes going wider and wider while listening to Allen in silence, until when he finishes, for a moment it looks a little like she's too shocked to even say anything] ... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 10:53 am UTC (link)
	. . . Cobra had only been awake four days. And everyone saw the game... people not playing could vote on the rounds. Van was the deciding vote, I think... probably. It doesn't matter, though. None of "who was responsible" really matters. Everything that happened is so muted now, and all that's left is how everyone felt. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 10:55 am UTC (link)
	[Drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them a little] What... what's with that... I-I'm sorry, I didn't... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 10:57 am UTC (link)
	. . . That's why Claude and I broke up your fight. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 11:02 am UTC (link)
	... What should I have done, Allen? What-- what should I do now? You always look like you have it so together, I can't ... even fathom how you're not totally insane after that ... nobody would blame you ... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 11:27 am UTC (link)
	... I don't know. We're just humans struggling. Whatever you did... whether you hated killing, or being killed, or hated others for it, or if you made decisions you hate. I don't think those feelings are wrong. But I don't think you're alone in feeling them, either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fanstheflames
2011-03-23 11:37 am UTC (link)

[Bites her bottom lip for a second]

I keep going over it in my head... what could I have done differently... whether I was right or not... nobody wants to admit that maybe it wasn't the other person's fault. That maybe they themselves were the ones who fucked up, and that that one mistake caused a lot of people to suffer... especially after you take it out on the other party, or-- or when the outcome of not having fucked it up seems even more horrible...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 11:44 am UTC (link)
	. . . It's hard not to think about things like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 11:48 am UTC (link)
	[Totally burying head in her knees by now] I wanna go back to being batshit... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pierrotdetous
2011-03-23 11:55 am UTC (link)

. . .

The girl on Pyxis... we argued for weeks and made each other miserable. I was wrapped up in the fact that I had to stop even more deaths from happening by killing her. And to Kagura, who had just been chosen to be killed by everybody, all she was getting was "it was okay for you to die for our sake."

But it really wasn't. I hated killing her. It wasn't okay at all. And she just hated to die.

We were able to be friends, after that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fanstheflames
2011-03-23 12:06 pm UTC (link)

I know it was wrong! And that's the bit that really gets me--! For once I was really trying! What's the point?! It's clearly better to live up to what people expect and just be a cold-blooded, conniving, lying, two-faced backstabber in the end! And Hydracula isn't one girl on Pyxis-- even if I apologise and admit I was wrong, there's no way we'll just hug it out and shit later! They probably wouldn't even apologise in return for what they did, either! It's just...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 12:08 pm UTC (link)
	. . . Bryony. . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 12:12 pm UTC (link)
	[Takes a deep breath, trying to calm down] --Sorry, I didn't mean to... I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 12:15 pm UTC (link)
	No, it's okay... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 12:18 pm UTC (link)
	No it's not, Allen has his own problems, I shouldn't be... adding shit ontop. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 12:23 pm UTC (link)
	That's not how it works. It isn't adding anything. You've changed a lot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 12:27 pm UTC (link)
	Ah-- I can go back to being happy Emiri, if that's easier! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pierrotdetous
2011-03-23 12:37 pm UTC (link)

No, I'm glad you're saying all this. Especially if it's not... really something you can tell your team.

I wish I could just tell you the answers. But I think the best thing I can say is... don't forget how you feel. Not the part where it's better to be a backstabber, you don't believe that. How you really feel. And don't forget how everyone else felt. If you forget, then this happens over and over.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 12:40 pm UTC (link)
	... Ah... mm. [Nods, once.] ... Right. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	At least everyone is still here. Nobody really died. In the end that's still a lot. You tried for a reason. I don't think it's cheap to try. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-23 12:52 pm UTC (link)
	... Thanks. What... what about Hydra? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-23 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	... Well, they're upset and hurt. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fanstheflames 2011-03-24 01:31 am UTC (link)
	... That kind of goes without saying. ... But that's because everyone is, y'know, it's not-- not unique to just them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2011-03-24 01:48 am UTC (link)
	... It's possible that they're the most sensitive, insecure team here. The way they react-- especially Scowl... it's hard to think of a violent attacker as scared and miserable. You may not like to hear it, but I think Scowl and you are very alike. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)