Reality Crash Communications

So this might seem out of the blue, and I don't know if you will even see this, but Hi. My name is Billy Kaplan, and if it's not too much trouble considering our current situation, I would really like to meet you. I have some things I need to talk to you about, and I would feel better doing it in person.

I am aware that there is a U.F.O above us.
I ask that those of you that have the ability to do so, please do not engage in communication or try to antagonize these newcomers at this time until we know more.

I would also like to inquire if anyone recognizes the make of these ships and can give me any information on them.

-Inspector Tanith IDPD.
If you are unsure whether or not to trust me, that is fine. But please keep in mind, I am the only legally recognized voice for all things and beings transplanted here.

[filtered to people identifying as mutants]

Our numbers are increasing.

Please update me on your current status and the location of your home, work, and usual recreational activities. I cannot effectively guard you all without that information.

[filtered to Jonah Trimble]

I miss

I bought orange juice.

[open to all]

If the military does not stop attempting to detain me, I will begin retaliating. This is the only warning. This also applies to the police.

I'm looking for directions to a liquor store. Lack of niggling questions a bonus.

Erik Lehnsherr, I must speak with you.

Okay, I think I've just about figured out how this thing works. I have a question, if anyone can help me with it. Is there a gym in this town? I haven't looked too hard, but from what I've seen at least, I haven't been able to locate anything. I am absolutely itching to get out of this manor, so if anyone knows of anything please let me know.

If not, does anyone want to...Christ, I don't know, just go for a run some mornings or something? I like the companyI do this kind of thing better when another person is involved.

Anyway, that's about it. If you know anything, give me a shout or something?

Thanks, random people of this town whom I have never met.

Raven.

Hello? Anybody there? ... How does this thing even work? Uh. ... Hi. I don't know if anybody can hear me but I found this little walkie-talkie sort of thing? The screen on it-- Augh, this is weird. I-- Yeah, it says I'm calling someone so, if anyone can hear me, I'm either really lost or...really high. ... I mean, first one's more likely but-- We crashed on a beach and now I'm in a park? ... And I'm alone. ... And-- ow. ... Anybody? ... Nngh, seriously. Where am I? Where's Alex? Hell, where's everybody?