Well, you know, if that Lisa Cullen plays like she sings, we're all going to be in for a hell of a season with the Cannons.

Yeah, Aleks. That was a great idea! I told that girl she was jucier than a plum and she dumped the drink I bought her on me.

I told you. No need for socks.

It turns out that if you live in an apartment that costs money, and you don't give your landlord money on a consistent basis, the landlord can kick you out. Who would have thought?

In unrelated news, is anyone looking for a roommate? I bathe often and I promise to only eat some of your food.

...well. This has certainly been quite a week to actually get on the journal network.

Well, let this be a lesson to all of you tender hearted people out there looking for love in all the wrong places:

When your boyfriend asks you if it's okay with you if he takes a spot on an American Quidditch team, you can say yes. However, you should probably consider the fact that he's probably not your boyfriend after that.

But it's okay to want nice things for people. It's okay to hope they succeed, even without you.

Rest assured, I kept the dog.

Music festivals are chaotic and dirty and full of incredibly shady characters. And yet, shockingly, I survived and even managed to have a good time.

Of course, coming home to the news that several players in the League had been suspended on grounds that feel a bit...convoluted was disconcerting.

[Percy Weasley]

Look. I realize you're mostly the messenger in all of this, but you have to give them something more than just vague threats. We need a comprehensive list of things that are going to get them benched. Just saying "suspicious things" makes it very difficult for innocent players to feel like they'll be left alone.

[/Percy Weasley]

[Magpies]

Thank you for not burning anything to the ground while I was away this weekend. It's a marked improvement from the last time.

On a more serious note, I think that personal belongings ought to be kept out of your lockers on game days. I know some of you have your routines and your superstitions rituals, but based on what I'm hearing about players getting benched for unrelated things in their lockers, I'd much prefer the lot of you keep your things somewhere secure and be able to play.

[/Magpies]

[James]

Thanks again. For the mandated fun and the place to sleep. It was really very considerate of you.

[/James]

If anyone's wondering today why I'm not on the pitch, it's because there was a time, some six months ago, maybe, when a fan sent me a present. It was a cute little thing and I really appreciated it, but I didn't have much use for it at the time so I put it in my locker and promptly forgot about it. And then this morning, someone who I'm sure is paid quite a lot of gold to rifle through my personal artifacts found it. And now I'm benched. I won't say what it was because I do not want to upset the fan in question, but anyone with two brain-cells to rub together could tell this thing isn't dangerous.

But, what do I know, I'm just a meathead player who is going to do what she's told.

Good luck, ladies.

I'm really glad Witch Weekly is so concerned about my health, but isn't it a little gross to always assume that the only reason a woman might not be feeling well is pregnancy? Not everything to do with how I'm feeling is related to my uterus.

Only in Quidditch can a bloody broom take up twenty-six minutes worth of questions. Which I suppose is still better than having to explain a loss to the Cannons would have been. Maybe. I'm not entirely sure.