LMOM: An Intimate Alliance of Contraditions, part 9/31 (Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus) Title: An Intimate Alliance of Contradictions, part 9/31 (I hope) Rating: NC-17 Characters/Pairing (this part): Remus/Severus Characters/Pairing (overall fic): Remus/Peter, Remus/Severus Summary: "It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at times the desperate shape of betrayal. And perhaps there is no possible explanation." ~ Joseph Conrad Kinks/Warnings: oral, facial/bukakke, dirty talk Overall warnings: Angst Challenge: LMOM '08, day nine Word Count: 1560-ish Notes: This part is set in 7th year. I plan to span 7th year to POA, and keep this canon compliant. Thanks so so much to mnemosyne_1 for the awesome beta-reading! :)
Severus looked surprised by the words that had come out of Remus' mouth, for what was likely the first time since he and Remus had begun their private meetings. Both his eyebrows were raised, but not in that way they were sometimes when he was calling you a imbecile without using words. A moment later, the expression was gone almost as fast as it came. Severus tilted his head, and his lips quirked slightly. "Come again?"
"I want you to fuck me until I can't remember my name." It wasn't a desperate plea, breathed against skin as passion built. It was a simple request from a man standing calmly across the room. Remus watched Severus watch him, and after a moment, he dragged his shirt over his head and dropped it to the ground. "Do I need to 'beg prettily'? I will. I have no self respect, remember?"
"I remember." Severus was looking at him as though he'd gone mad.
Remus might as well have. Peter hadn't been able to look him in the eyes for longer than a few consecutive seconds since Halloween, which felt like it was longer ago than just a couple of days ago, and in retrospect, Remus had been a fool to think he could turn that entire encounter around. He should have just done what Peter asked and nothing more, like the time before, but in the moment, he had thought Peter would accept it if he'd shown Peter how good it could be and assured him it was all right.
And it had felt so good...
Fuck it.
Remus knew now he couldn't change a thing. He couldn't get Severus to like him beyond sex, and he couldn't get Peter to come around where that was concerned either. He couldn't change anything. In fact, he had the feeling he'd irreparably damaged his relationship with Peter. But at least he still had this. As distanced as it might be, it was something, and he might as well just enjoy what he still had left, and maybe if he let Severus consume him, he could stop thinking about Peter's fingers in his hair and his name on Peter's lips.
He crossed the room and closed his fingers in the front of Severus' shirt, then started to undress him. "Are you going to fuck me, or just stare at me?"
"What the fuck is the matter with you, Lupin?" Severus asked, his brows drawn together. He closed his hand over Remus' and Remus looked up.
He didn't really feel like anything made sense anymore. He froze for just a moment, staring at Severus and not quite understanding why what Severus said would strike him, and then he tilted his head. "I thought we weren't going to talk about our feelings."
Severus blinked. Once. Twice. Three times.
"That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Remus asked, still looking at Severus, his gaze serious even as he brushed Severus' shirt off his shoulders and to the floor.
Severus nodded though, even if Remus still couldn't quite read the expression on his face. Remus leaned in and kissed his jaw, biting and licking at it, letting his lips trail down Severus' neck. Severus didn't stop him. He didn't block Remus' hands from undoing his zipper either, but he wasn't really responding, and eventually Remus pulled away with a sigh.
"What?"
"Have you been cursed? You're acting strangely."
Remus made an exasperated noise and then covered his face with his hands. "No, I've just mucked my life up, but what do you care?" He sighed. "What then, Severus? Tell me how I'm supposed to act." When Remus looked back up, Severus held his gaze for a long moment, so long it did things to Remus he knew it shouldn't do, stirring exactly the things inside him that had got him into this mess in the first place, which really didn't help right now. Those feeling were exactly what he didn't want to think about, and even though Severus looked unhappy, there was a funny sort of softness to his gaze which wasn't normally there that tugged at Remus.
But then Severus said, "On your knees, wolf," and pulled open his trousers, and Remus was glad of it.
He dropped to his knees right away and pulled down Severus' pants to reveal his erection, sucking the head into his mouth slowly. The wasn't exactly what he wanted - he'd wanted Severus to make him scream until he was hoarse - but it was nice and it would do. Severus' prick was warm and hard in his mouth, and Remus took Severus as far back as he could, grasping Severus' hips and pulling them forward as well until the head of Severus' cock hit the back of his throat.
That was enough to make him moan, and Severus rested his hand on the top of Remus' head as Remus reached down and pressed his hand to his own cock. Remus sort of wished Severus would call him names like he always did; it would have been easier to forget himself in this. Part of him wondered why Severus wasn't. But most of Remus just wanted to not think about anything but the flesh between his lips and the man standing above him who didn't like him, but at least enjoyed what Remus knew how to do with his tongue.
He pulled off Severus and working his tongue along one side of Severus' shaft, sucking his way to the base where he ducked down and teased Severus' balls with his tongue. His hand went to his own cock and fisted it, squeezing and pulling, and by the time he moved back to swallow Severus' cock again, Severus' fist was clenched in his hair.
He looked up to see Severus was watching him as usual, and Remus could fill in the insults for himself under the intense gaze of those dark eyes. Wolf, whore, slut. You have no self-respect. Always quiet, always watching him, eyes always hungry, just like they were on him now, as Remus locked his gaze with Severus and sucked. He knew what Severus was thinking, even if he was choosing silence. His mind filled in all the blanks, and after a while Remus nudged Severus' hips to encourage him to thrust.
Remus was starting to feel weak with arousal when Severus obeyed, and his hand crept around Severus' arse, but Severus swatted him away. That only spurred Remus on, his head dipping furiously to meet Severus' thrusts, even when they were a little too deep, the hand on his own cock moving to match his rhythm. Dirty, filthy.
The echo of Severus' voice was getting louder in Remus' head. If Severus said he had no self-respect and Peter thought he was a pervert, why should he bother trying to not be those things. He moaned around Severus cock, sucking hard, and Severus gasped and made a strangled noise. Remus felt a flash of lust run through him; he wanted to feel every bit of what those words implied. He pushed Severus back a few inches, slipping his mouth off Severus' cock to fist it in his face.
"Fuck, Remus!" Severus gasped, and then he was coming, white streaks of come hitting Remus' cheeks and lips.
Panting hard, Remus stroked Severus until there was just a bare strand of pearly fluid still clinging from Severus' cock. Remus had lost rhythm on himself when he started to stroke Severus, but his hand was still squeezing himself, and when he felt Severus' come drip off his chin and hit his chest, it took only one jerky movement of his hand for Remus to groan and come between his fingers.
He collapsed back on his heels, panting and feeling spent. He didn't bother to clean his face right away, and he heard a shifting and opened one of his eyes, the one that wasn't dangerously close to come. Severus had dropped to his knees in front of Remus and Remus sat forward again.
Severus' eyes wilder than Remus had ever seen it, in spite of his expression being mostly flat, but Remus' sated brain couldn't think, and before he knew it, Severus was leaning in to him and licking the come from the corner of his mouth. Remus moaned automatically, his breath going erratic and his heart beating wildly, and before he could stop either, Severus kissed him, a slow, almost tender kiss. Severus never did anything intimate after sex, but Remus returned the kiss enthusiastically, barely able to process what was happening until Severus pulled back.
Nothing was said for a long moment, but there was that funny, unhappy expression again on Severus' face. Then it was gone, and Severus let his gaze wander from Remus' eyes to the mess on his face. "You're filthy," he said.
Remus blinked, feeling overwhelmed. By what, he wasn't sure, but after a minute his lips quirked, and he knew it had to have been the high of orgasm that caused it, but he suddenly realised something. "You wouldn't want me any other way."
Severus pursed his lips, looked more like Severus was supposed to look, then stood up and yanked his clothes back on. "Wash your face," he muttered, then left the room.