InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Absolutelyyyy-y"

Naomh Pádraig | Saint Patrick (naomh_padraig) wrote in nevermore_au,
@ 2013-01-08 23:44:00

Entry tags:

-abroad, saint darerca, saint george, saint padraig

WHO: Padraig, George and Darerca
WHAT: A re-soulenated Padraig is having a Moment
WHEN: After Patrick is resoulenated
WHERE: Padraig's farm
WARNINGS: Talk of torture and horribleness

It had returned as suddenly as it left him. One moment Padraig was whistling and boiling water without a care in the world, and the next he was on the floor of his cabin, backing up into the corner on his hands and knees. The horror of everything he had done in the past years weighing on him heavily. His eyes widened and he burst into tears, clutching his chest and crying so hard he couldn't breathe.

He had starved his brother and tortured him. He had allowed another version of himself to try to kill his sister. He had done it because he had lost a soul he hadn't even tried to give away in the first place.

It was too much to take and after hours of cowering in the corner and trying to figure out how to deal with what he had done, he had headed to his barn, his gait deliberate. He grabbed a heavy bag of sand and a rope and he carried them both to the edge of the cliff which plunged down to the sea. He had spent so many years in captivity, fighting to not throw himself off the edge. Hope had kept him alive; hope of escaping his master and heading home. Now he had no hope. He had committed atrocities he could never live with.

Padraig tied one end of the rope to the sandbag and the other to his ankle. If he threw himself off the cliff, the weight would keep him submerged. The water would keep him from coming back, at least until his body decomposed or drifted too far out to sea and he just popped back to Ireland somewhere. And then he could do it again.

He stared off the cliff and sighed, watching the water churn below him.

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	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 12:42 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig didn't want to let George go and he didn't notice when Darerca crawled forward to untie the sandbag from his ankle and push it off the cliff to get rid of it. "George," he said weakly, "I- I can't-" and then he fainted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 12:51 pm UTC (link)
	"Fuck," George swore softly, his brother deadweight in his arms. He looked at Darerca. "Let's get him inside." A few minutes later, Padraig was laid out on the couch and wrapped in several blankets. George was pacing next to him. "Do you think he's going to be all right?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naomh_padraig
2013-01-08 12:56 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know, but I do know we're staying here until he at least isn't going to go over the cliff," she said, heading to make him some tea. "Or we could take him to my house. Maybe somewhere more neutral for him would be good, though I don't know where he would stay."

She moved over to him and brushed his hair back off his forehead. "He looks really pale. God dammit. George, I think we need to lift him up again and look at his back."

When Padraig did something he was ashamed of, he tended to self-flagellate. Darerca hated it. And he was clearly ashamed about what he had done without a soul and with good reason.

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monster_slayer
2013-01-08 01:02 pm UTC (link)

"He could stay in my room?" George suggested. Enough time had passed staying with Darerca that he hardly noticed that he was referring to it as 'his room'. "I'd be fine on the couch, or we can get a blow-up mattress for me to sleep on."

At Darerca's words, he frown and sat down besides Padraig's head. Carefully, like his brother might break if handled too roughly, he lifted Padraig up and tugged the hem of his shirt upwards.

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prayingwithfire
2013-01-08 01:05 pm UTC (link)

"If you're sure, we could do that," Darerca nodded. She thought of it as George's bedroom too.

When Padraig's shirt was lifted, Darerca hissed in a breath. His back was a mess of long wounds criss-crossing all over it. The blood had clotted by now, but it looked horrifying and it was easily the worst she had ever seen him. "Fuck me." Immediately she went to find something to clean his back with.

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	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, Padraig," George breathed out, hands shaking a little as he reached out to touch one of the wounds. When Darerca got up to get supplies, George lift Padraig the rest of the way and laid him back down on his stomach. He resumed his spot by Padraig's head and stroked his hair gently, humming softly. Anything he could think of to soothe his brother. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naomh_padraig
2013-01-08 01:28 pm UTC (link)

Darerca returned and she knelt down beside Padraig and George. She cut his shirt off with the scissors in the first aid kit she had found and then she pulled out some antibacterial spray and the cloth she had moistened. "This is going to hurt it's probably going to wake him up. He's going to be confused. Will you make sure he doesn't punch me or hurt himself or something, George?" she asked, and then she started cleaning his wounds.

Padraig started to stir and he winced as his eyes finally opened. He grunted in pain and then looked at his siblings who were currently working on the damage he had done to himself. "Wh- did I faint? Ow! Shit, Dee."

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	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 01:34 pm UTC (link)
	"Easy, easy," George said, keeping his hand on an undamaged patch of skin on Padraig's back to prevent him from squirming away. "You passed out. We're cleaning your back. Calm down, it's all right." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naomh_padraig
2013-01-08 01:38 pm UTC (link)

Padraig realised he was in the cabin and he turned his face away from George and Darerca. "Nothing is all right, George," he whispered.

Darerca hissed air through her teeth as she cleaned his back and then she uncapped the antibacterial spray. She applied it and Padraig whimpered a little. She bit her lip, clearly to stop herself from informing him it was all his fault.

"I- I did such horrible things," Padraig murmured.

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	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 01:46 pm UTC (link)
	"You did," George said, because disagreeing would be such a blatant lie that it would almost be funny. "But you didn't have a soul, and that wasn't your fault." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 01:55 pm UTC (link)
	He finally turned his face back to meet George's, though he avoided his brother's eyes. "I watched you starve, George. On purpose. And I don't- I can't even fathom why I would have done those things to you!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	George stroked his hand through Padraig's hair, at a loss for how to soothe his brother. "All the good parts of you were gone," he said. "Or...or mostly gone, anyway. And what was left behind was old hurts and things that we dealt with a long time ago." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 02:10 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig closed his eyes at the feeling of George's hand in his hair. He wanted to say he had missed George, but the truth was that he hadn't. Not until his broken soul had been shoved back into his body. "I'm glad you're here. You're not leaving, are you? You'll stay, both of you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course," George said gently. He glanced at Darerca. "We were wondering if you'd like to go to Dee's house? I've been staying there. It might be less...upsetting for you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 06:20 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig lay there in silence for a moment and finally he nodded. "Yes. Yes, that's- That's better than here." Darerca finished cleaning him up and she started preparing some bandages. "You have to sit up, Padraig," she said to him, looking tired and hassled. He complied, slowly and painfully, so she could wrap the bandages around him. "I don't deserve this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-09 05:23 am UTC (link)
	"You didn't deserve to have your soul ripped out of you either," George said, more snappish than he'd intended. Thinking about it still made him angry. How dare Patrick do this to them because he was, what, feeling sad? It was infuriating. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 05:10 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig let out a slow breath as Darerca continued to wrap him up like a very macabre Christmas present. "Maybe I didn't, but everything I did after that is on me. And I won't ever be able to forget what I did." He gave George a mournful look. "How can you forgive me for that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	BAM, SUDDEN PB SWITCH adragonbright 2013-01-10 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	George tapped his fingers quickly on the nearest available surface, which happened to be Padraig's knee. "This is all...to you, it just happened," George said. "Or you just care that it happened, anyway. It's been months for me, trying to deal with it all. And...I mean, I still feel angry or scared or both sometimes, but that doesn't mean I want you to hurt." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	BABYYYY! naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig listened and actually cared what his brother was saying for the first time in a very long time. When Darerca finished with his bandages, he reached out and took George's face in his hands again. Then he leaned his own forehead against George's. "And I don't want to hurt you more, George. I- I'll try to get better." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adragonbright 2013-01-10 08:57 pm UTC (link)
	"Good," George said, leaning against Padraig and trying to fight back a sudden welling of tears. His brother was back. Dear God in Heaven, his brother was really back. "And that means no more hurting yourself, all right?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	Flagellation was the way he made supplication to God and he was about to argue, but he figured he owed George this and so much more. "Alright," he finally conceded. He wrapped his arms around George and then he said, "beyond being incredibly horrified and ashamed, I'm also really embarrassed." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adragonbright 2013-01-10 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	George rested his head on Padraig's shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment. Padraig, restored and brought back to them. He opened his eyes and smiled at Darerca over Padraig's shoulder before patting his brother on the back. "Speaking of which, I'm sorry that I threatened to eat you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig just sighed and he shook his head. "One can hardly blame you. Maybe one day I'll tell you all the crap I ate during the famine. But can we get out of here. After I-" he turned to Darerca, his expression hangdog. "I'm sorry, Dee. For everything." Darerca leaned down to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Let's get your arse out of here." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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