InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I pity the foo'"

Naomh Pádraig | Saint Patrick (naomh_padraig) wrote in nevermore_au,
@ 2013-01-08 23:44:00

Entry tags:

-abroad, saint darerca, saint george, saint padraig

WHO: Padraig, George and Darerca
WHAT: A re-soulenated Padraig is having a Moment
WHEN: After Patrick is resoulenated
WHERE: Padraig's farm
WARNINGS: Talk of torture and horribleness

It had returned as suddenly as it left him. One moment Padraig was whistling and boiling water without a care in the world, and the next he was on the floor of his cabin, backing up into the corner on his hands and knees. The horror of everything he had done in the past years weighing on him heavily. His eyes widened and he burst into tears, clutching his chest and crying so hard he couldn't breathe.

He had starved his brother and tortured him. He had allowed another version of himself to try to kill his sister. He had done it because he had lost a soul he hadn't even tried to give away in the first place.

It was too much to take and after hours of cowering in the corner and trying to figure out how to deal with what he had done, he had headed to his barn, his gait deliberate. He grabbed a heavy bag of sand and a rope and he carried them both to the edge of the cliff which plunged down to the sea. He had spent so many years in captivity, fighting to not throw himself off the edge. Hope had kept him alive; hope of escaping his master and heading home. Now he had no hope. He had committed atrocities he could never live with.

Padraig tied one end of the rope to the sandbag and the other to his ankle. If he threw himself off the cliff, the weight would keep him submerged. The water would keep him from coming back, at least until his body decomposed or drifted too far out to sea and he just popped back to Ireland somewhere. And then he could do it again.

He stared off the cliff and sighed, watching the water churn below him.

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	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 01:46 pm UTC (link)
	"You did," George said, because disagreeing would be such a blatant lie that it would almost be funny. "But you didn't have a soul, and that wasn't your fault." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 01:55 pm UTC (link)
	He finally turned his face back to meet George's, though he avoided his brother's eyes. "I watched you starve, George. On purpose. And I don't- I can't even fathom why I would have done those things to you!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	George stroked his hand through Padraig's hair, at a loss for how to soothe his brother. "All the good parts of you were gone," he said. "Or...or mostly gone, anyway. And what was left behind was old hurts and things that we dealt with a long time ago." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 02:10 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig closed his eyes at the feeling of George's hand in his hair. He wanted to say he had missed George, but the truth was that he hadn't. Not until his broken soul had been shoved back into his body. "I'm glad you're here. You're not leaving, are you? You'll stay, both of you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-08 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course," George said gently. He glanced at Darerca. "We were wondering if you'd like to go to Dee's house? I've been staying there. It might be less...upsetting for you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-08 06:20 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig lay there in silence for a moment and finally he nodded. "Yes. Yes, that's- That's better than here." Darerca finished cleaning him up and she started preparing some bandages. "You have to sit up, Padraig," she said to him, looking tired and hassled. He complied, slowly and painfully, so she could wrap the bandages around him. "I don't deserve this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	monster_slayer 2013-01-09 05:23 am UTC (link)
	"You didn't deserve to have your soul ripped out of you either," George said, more snappish than he'd intended. Thinking about it still made him angry. How dare Patrick do this to them because he was, what, feeling sad? It was infuriating. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 05:10 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig let out a slow breath as Darerca continued to wrap him up like a very macabre Christmas present. "Maybe I didn't, but everything I did after that is on me. And I won't ever be able to forget what I did." He gave George a mournful look. "How can you forgive me for that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	BAM, SUDDEN PB SWITCH adragonbright 2013-01-10 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	George tapped his fingers quickly on the nearest available surface, which happened to be Padraig's knee. "This is all...to you, it just happened," George said. "Or you just care that it happened, anyway. It's been months for me, trying to deal with it all. And...I mean, I still feel angry or scared or both sometimes, but that doesn't mean I want you to hurt." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	BABYYYY! naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig listened and actually cared what his brother was saying for the first time in a very long time. When Darerca finished with his bandages, he reached out and took George's face in his hands again. Then he leaned his own forehead against George's. "And I don't want to hurt you more, George. I- I'll try to get better." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adragonbright 2013-01-10 08:57 pm UTC (link)
	"Good," George said, leaning against Padraig and trying to fight back a sudden welling of tears. His brother was back. Dear God in Heaven, his brother was really back. "And that means no more hurting yourself, all right?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	Flagellation was the way he made supplication to God and he was about to argue, but he figured he owed George this and so much more. "Alright," he finally conceded. He wrapped his arms around George and then he said, "beyond being incredibly horrified and ashamed, I'm also really embarrassed." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	adragonbright 2013-01-10 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	George rested his head on Padraig's shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment. Padraig, restored and brought back to them. He opened his eyes and smiled at Darerca over Padraig's shoulder before patting his brother on the back. "Speaking of which, I'm sorry that I threatened to eat you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	naomh_padraig 2013-01-10 09:20 pm UTC (link)
	Padraig just sighed and he shook his head. "One can hardly blame you. Maybe one day I'll tell you all the crap I ate during the famine. But can we get out of here. After I-" he turned to Darerca, his expression hangdog. "I'm sorry, Dee. For everything." Darerca leaned down to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Let's get your arse out of here." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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