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Tweak says, "Grrr... awrrr..."

Keith (finds) wrote in miraclecountry,
@ 2018-12-14 15:41:00

Entry tags:

! general, ; de-age event, akiho shinomoto, cisco ramon, harrison 'harry' wells, keith (voltron), maxine 'max' caulfield, sakura kinomoto, takashi 'shiro' shirogane

open 🌸 early evening, everywhere
[With temperatures slowly dropping and days turning into night at earlier and earlier hours, it's probably not a surprise when more signs of winter start to manifest in the coming days, not quite fully there but close. Traces of ice that aren't quite snow, chilly winds, and overcast days. Definitely a shift from the sunny opportunities of magical dates and the like.

With all that, of course, there's the need for those warmer clothes to keep the cold at bay, and likewise an increase chance of finding them among the shops and bazaar. Thicker, warmer coats to put on, mittens and hats, supplies to help with the ice, or maybe you're just looking to restock on hot-cocoa for home. Today certainly seems like one of those days for it.

It's not so bad that braving the outside is out of the question, either, of course - if you like this sort of weather, it might even make for a nice walk, with the right attire and maybe a hand to hold to keep warm. For those that might prefer staying in, huddling up instead... it's a perfect excuse too.]

[ooc: general open log + replaying the de-age event with Keith in the comments. Find him below or feel free to use this log for other shenanigans. ♥]

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-24 09:31 pm UTC (link)

[He knows how hard this is for him, can see it in his reactions and face, and it breaks his heart-- he knows he'll get there, but for now, all it does is make him ache a little, wanting to help him, wanting to reassure him, but knowing he can only do so much.]

Keith... [He touches his shoulder, his touch tentative but gentle, aiming for the familiar.]

You're kind and so brave. You've stood by me when nobody else would, and you never gave up on me. [Even if-- maybe you should have.] You're amazing and passionate. You're beautiful in so many ways and I'm so proud of you.

How's it even possible for me to not love you?

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needspatience
2018-12-25 12:49 am UTC (link)

[It is familiar and it serves to ground him, keeps him from feeling like he should back off and run, but it also sends him reeling at the same time, ducking down again to shake his head, almost furiously.]

But I! What about-- [He closes his eyes tight, pushing out a breath, against the onslaught of self-doubt that carefully kept his feelings in check.] Shiro, all those things, I'm not-

I'm... [There's no way.]

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-25 01:01 am UTC (link)

[Squeezes his shoulder. He knows you can't see it right now, and that's alright. He already promised to not give up on him.]

Keith... [His voice is quiet, soothing, hating to see him like this and knowing there's nothing he can to make it better, other than continuing to say it.]

You are. You're all those things to me.

[...] Keith, baby, you're-- [everything.] I know you can't see that right now, but nothing you could ever do or say would change my mind on this.

You're... You're so precious to me. [You can't even begin to know how much.]

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needspatience
2018-12-25 03:24 am UTC (link)

[He doesn't open his eyes, feels like he might let tears spill if he does, but every breath he takes like it's too much. His heart is pounding in his ears, only held at bay by the softness of Shiro's voice.]

Shiro.

[Almost hiccups over another intake of air, insisting still, though he's not sure for what he's arguing over more. It was already crazy enough to him that you'd put this much care into being in his life at all. His mouth closes tightly, with an unsteady tremble, doubt ready to burst - things Shiro doesn't deserve to have to listen to and yet. Fuck.] Shiro.

[You matter to him so much too. You deserve more than him.]

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-25 04:00 am UTC (link)

Hey... Hey.

[The hand on his shoulder shifts back, splaying over his back and tugging gently.]

Come here. [His voice is gentle, not forcing but guiding Keith to press against him, his arm curling around him and holding him close, curling around him and hugging him.]

I understand. I feel it, too. So often I think to myself that you deserve so much better than me. But I know you'd never feel that way. [Rubs his back.] Even if you don't think you're worth it, trust that there's nobody else in the entire universe I'd rather be with than you.

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needspatience
2018-12-25 04:39 am UTC (link)

[Despite it all, he has only a tiny moment of hesitation before he goes in without much other resistance, making a small sound but wrapping both his arms around Shiro's torso tightly in the end.]

That's crazy. [He mumbles softer into his chest, watery, but a little less strained, something like wonder in his voice. Of course he wouldn't - he'd never think that of him. It's hard for him to even believe they could feasibly share this feeling, but here's Shiro saying it and his words have never been anything but earnest and true. Keith's shoulders start to relax, tentatively.][..............] You - really...?

[In the entire universe?]

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-25 04:42 am UTC (link)
	[Squeezes him so tight, running his hand up and down his back and up into his hair, kneading at the back of his neck-- just touching him, grounding him, wanting to assure him.] Yeah. I really do. I will always feel that way about you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-25 06:31 am UTC (link)

[He can't handle it but he never wants this to stop either, trembling in his hold, hugging him back. It kind of hits belatedly how this means not just that Shiro feels this way about him but that he knows Keith's feelings too and... god.]

Shiro... [More than ever, more than his own doubt or anything else, he wants to answer him properly, say what he's feeling, because those words mean too much not to.]

You know I - [You know, yes, wow, but even if you didn't he'd still... He's a mess and yet this he feels without any uncertainty at all.] Me too. Me too.

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-25 07:32 am UTC (link)
	I know. [Holds him so tight, fingers tangling in his hair and cradling the back of his head.] [Brushes his fingers through his hair and pulls him in close against him, gentle. He can feel him trembling, knows he's a mess, but-- he isn't going to take it back, either. You deserve to know you're loved.] I know, baby. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-25 07:51 am UTC (link)

[Definitely shivers hearing him say that again, another circuit fizzing out in his brain like it somehow won't register all the way each time, hitting him anew.]

Y- [Ffffff. His entire face is red. He's not sure he's ever blushed this hard in his life, finally managing to open his eyes again without the threat of tears, at least for now.] Yeah.

Guess you would. [Jeez. It's weird, to be feeling kind of inevitably self-conscious and yet also stubbornly unashamed of these feelings, but that's about where it lands for him, a mix of both.]

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-25 04:13 pm UTC (link)

[Smiles down at him gently, expression fond and sympathetic-- he. knows this is a weird situation for him.]

I'm only sorry it took me a while to realize. [God. You're in love with him even now. And he was the idiot thinking they were only friends for years. It's so obvious, seeing him like this now-- obvious in a sweet kind of way, a way that only makes him feel nostalgic.]

... I know it's a lot to process at once.

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needspatience
2018-12-25 05:42 pm UTC (link)

[Groans a little, soft, shaky still but just making a helpless grumble rather than freaking out as much now. Maybe. It definitely is a lot to process. Feels like something happened in reverse somehow and now he's upside down.]

I wasn't trying to make you notice. You're my friend. [He says that with all the importance it deserves, something he wanted to protect rather than anything else, even his own self-worth issues. Not to mention-] And you're still - You were [???] with...

[You know. Anyway, life apparently is wild. (He has no idea.)]

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-25 08:37 pm UTC (link)

[He nods a little-- he knows you didn't want him to know, and maybe ultimately it's a good thing he didn't notice back then if only for the risk of making Keith uncomfortable, after all. It wouldn't change their friendship, he knows, but.]

Oh. [So you still remember him being in a relationship.] ... Adam and I-- we wanted different things. It didn't work out.

[His voice is quiet, not quite regretting but more-- accepting. For a long time, that was just how it seemed to Shiro: relationships wouldn't work out, after all.]

You... [well. there's so much he could say but-- how can he possibly put it into words that conveys it all and yet doesn't overwhelm Keith? Impossible.] You are my friend, Keith. Every day, I'm so grateful we met.

[Tips his head down, pressing into his hair with a little breath, not quite emotional but-- weighted. He squeezes him tight. You're everything to him.]

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needspatience
2018-12-25 09:30 pm UTC (link)

[Oh. It makes sense, if only from everything Shiro's saying of course, but at the same time he really can't fathom it. Having Shiro and not wanting to be with him forever is beyond logic. But... Keith listens to him and still understands the nuance of his tone, at least enough, though it makes his chest ache for him anyway. Even more so at the weight in his voice over those next words. He hugs him tighter again when Shiro does too. He almost doesn't have to say it for Keith to feel it, instinctively in that moment, the feeling he knows even now that he'll always carry with him. Everything.]

Shiro... ["I'm sorry" doesn't sound or feel right, but still he holds him as much as he can in his arms, closing his eyes again] Me too. I'm really - I always...

No one matters to me more than you.

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-25 11:49 pm UTC (link)

[Rubs his back, gently, just wanting to hold him-- taking comfort, in turn, to the way Keith clings to him.]

Yeah. [Hugs him. He'll just say it forever.] Yeah, baby. Keith...

[He breathes out, relaxing a little-- feeling, at least, like he's been understood better. He knows none of this is easy for him. But...]

Me too. You have no idea all you've done for me. How much you mean to me.

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needspatience
2018-12-26 02:34 am UTC (link)

[Ah... He's getting the idea more, at least. Nods a little into him even if he can't quite put everything into words - it's not that he ever thought Shiro didn't care about him, obviously, just.]

I can't really imagine it. Me? [He said this before and it's more true now. Himself in the future. Even just hearing that he'd still be by your side in some capacity was a lot.] But I...

I- I'm glad.

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-26 02:38 am UTC (link)
	[He laughs a little, softly-- just a touch heartbroken that he can't even picture it. He squeezes him tight, his hand returning to the back of his head, cupping it there and tucking him into him, curled around him protectively.] Me too. I'm-- you have no idea how happy I am. I've never been happier. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-26 02:53 am UTC (link)

Shiro -

[Oh, oh wow. He doesn't lift his head because it's nice with Shiro's hand behind it but does open his eyes again, flicks them up a little with no small amount of amazement but also just. Relieved. Glad, as he said. It's something he feels to the core no matter what - Shiro should be happy always.]

[So he hugs him tighter again too, as fierce and fully as he can hope to convey.] Good.

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-26 02:59 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. [...] I-- I only hope that I make you as happy, too. [Smiles a little and presses a kiss to the top of his head.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-26 03:35 am UTC (link)

[Makes a dumb breathless sound when he feels it, a tremble running through him and honestly? Maybe he can't imagine himself, but one thing he can say for sure, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Even with his entire face suddenly burning again asldfjlf.]

Shiro, it's you. I don't see how I couldn't-- [Ffff, his voice goes a little softer but no less matter of fact.] You do make me happy.

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-26 05:54 am UTC (link)
	[He chuckles, softly-- he'd expected the response, but of course it makes him feel all warmed inside to hear it all the same.] Thank you, Keith. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-26 06:13 am UTC (link)

[Shiro's laugh is nice and he can feel it all through him, however soft, just from holding on... Anyone else, and it'd put him on edge, but with Shiro it always just eases him despite himself. He stays close like that and makes a quiet affirming grunt to the thanks, unneeded as it is.]

'Course. [... Goes quiets just a bit, a tentative pause, before trying.] Hey, um.

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	yieldsfocus 2018-12-26 06:17 am UTC (link)
	[He just keeps holding him, content to do so-- taking the pause in stride and assuming it'll follow with more silence. When Keith speaks up again, though, he lets out a soft hum in response.] Yeah? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

needspatience
2018-12-26 07:17 am UTC (link)

[He knows you know, now, but if he's gonna talk about the way he feels, now or in the future.... he's gonna be direct about this at least once, at the very least. So he draws back, just enough to look up at Shiro, his expression a serious determination that's so very him, no longer so hesitant, made brave just knowing as always that Shiro would listen regardless.]

... I like you. A lot, Shiro. [So much more than he thought he should ever be allowed to.] And you know I--

[He couldn't say it before, and refuses to waver this time.]

I love you. [It's softer, not as easy to say, but the feeling is there all the more so. Loving him as best friends and family, and being in love with him - both are true. He doesn't look away from Shiro, so a small flicker then crosses his set expression, remembering and. Again maybe helplessly amazed by the reminder, the notion in every sense of it.] I... -- I love you too.

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yieldsfocus
2018-12-26 04:37 pm UTC (link)

[He's quiet as Keith pulls back, as he collects those words-- not wanting to interrupt and wanting to give him, and his response, the attention it deserves. He smiles, all the same, soft and gentle and encouraging-- his expression fond as he looks at him.]

[He meets Keith's eyes, of course, without looking away-- even as, again, his expression melts looking at him, hearing those words. No matter the context, it's never not going to floor him to hear it, and especially like this. Especially when he knows what it means for Keith to say it now.]

I love you, Keith. [He lifts his hand to touch his cheek, thumb brushing slightly.] Thank you for telling me.

[It's nice to hear, no matter how much he might already know it.]