InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You won't forget this one"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-05-08 11:56:00

Entry tags:

:jaden, :mary wesson, :mingle, aidan reilly, alex karev, ianto jones, jack harkness, james howlett/logan, keith, malcolm reynolds, martha jones, nico di angelo, peter parker (stnas), pidge, prompto argentum, sara lance, sarah williams, spencer reid, spike, wade wilson

427 - Group Therapy Mingle

THERAPY GROUPS
More linked as they come up!

Turning a New Leaf
Polyamorous Individuals
PTSD and You
Murderers Anonymous
Addicts Anonymous
Counting Days - Managing Life with a Chronic Illness
Phobias and You
Impostor Syndrome
Abandonment Issues

Event info!

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universal_charm
2017-05-23 07:17 am UTC (link)

Who knows if you could even stop it. It's the age old tale of the creation of man turning on him.

_{[ A shrug, because sometimes there were just things you had to accept. ]}

Why would it be my fault? My brother was an asshole, and my mother - well, guess I was just a reminder, I guess. Not to sure.

_{[ Another shrug, because honestly he didn't think it was his fault. He knew it wasn't. It had just created other issues, and those would probably never get properly worked out. ]}

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-23 07:21 am UTC (link)
	[Siiip.] It doesn't matter if it makes sense, how you feel doesn't always make sense. Maybe you feel like it was. And if it's not that, then for the purpose of 'group therapy' you'd have to figure out what does bother you about it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	universal_charm 2017-05-23 07:24 am UTC (link)
	_{[ Siiiip in return. Okay, enough about him. Your turn. Because what was progress? ]} Mmmm, before that, your turn to share. Why are you in here? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pocket_sized
2017-05-23 07:34 am UTC (link)

[He hadn't heard Ray's conversation with Shiro then, but that was fine.]

I could probably cite a lonely childhood, but most of it has to do with the fact that even after four PHDs, a successful business, multiple philanthropy efforts, and attempts to drag my city out of the depth of poverty, when I 'died' [Finger quotes] nobody cared.

Sure, they changed the name in my honor, but I didn't change anything. If anything, Star City got worse, not better despite my efforts.

And then a time traveler shows up and lets me know that my life has little impact on the time stream as a whole, so there goes the big picture.

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	universal_charm 2017-05-23 07:39 am UTC (link)
	_{[ Oh, that was surprising. The other dying, that was. Should they start a club for that? He had started to feel lonely with just Jack to talk to about it, if he did at all. Well, and Wade knew, but that was another can of worms entirely. ]} When you say 'nobody' cared, whom exactly is 'nobody'? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pocket_sized
2017-05-23 07:43 am UTC (link)

[Well, he did technically die, but that was a time aberration. He means when he was legally dead which is why he finger quoted it.]

I think I was hoping for wider acknowledgement than my circle of friends. I know it seems selfish, but I wanted to leave a mark on the world, and a positive one. For my life to have meaning.

And it does now, I don't need the accolades anymore, but that revelation of my life having no impact on the time line? Or how the world reacted to my less than accurate demise? It's hard to shake.

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universal_charm
2017-05-24 06:48 am UTC (link)

_{[ Kirk was quiet for a moment as he considered Ray and his words. ]}

Well, maybe your life didn't impact the time line on a large scale, but then, maybe you can't see the impacts. You touched lives while you were alive, Ray - or in your original time, anyways. Those lives you touched, they were changed.

Why does the change have to be big to matter? I think so long as you helped one person, one person at all, or even just made someone smile - that's a positive thing to leave behind. And honestly, your life only has meaning if you believe it to. No one else can give you that, Ray.

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pocket_sized
2017-05-24 06:55 am UTC (link)

[True, nothing he's saying is necessarily wrong, but it's a matter of perspective. His jaw tightens slightly as he considers his words.]

There are a lot of problems on my Earth, Jim. Global warming, terrorism, proxy wars, pollution, just to name a few. When you have the resources, as I did, as a multibillion dollar CEO, you kind of hope you leave an impact, change the world for the better.

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universal_charm
2017-05-24 07:08 am UTC (link)

And sometimes that impact is just planting a seed. Seeds take time to grow, and the ripples of our actions aren't always seen quite so clearly the further away from them we get.

And sometimes your impact is helping the person who will one day create the theory behind light speed travel get into a good college, or just encourage them to keep trying.

Your name doesn't have to be in a book or on a plaque for your life to have mattered, Ray.

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-24 07:12 am UTC (link)
	Guess not, but sometimes you want to be remembered. [He tilts his head and shrugs.] And I know, I've been doing things that far exceed anything I did as a CEO in terms of self fulfillment as a Legend. Some find it harder to leave the boulevard of broken dreams than others. And I'll get there eventually. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	universal_charm 2017-05-24 07:18 am UTC (link)
	I think you just need to stop focusing on what will come, and what it is you can do in your present, you know? What will be will be. You can only control it so much. At the end of the day, you have to have faith in those around you, and in the seeds you've planted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pocket_sized 2017-05-24 08:09 am UTC (link)
	[Aaaand now he has respect for the reboot. Actually he supposes he needed advice like that.] Basically, you're saying I need a little yolo. That's basically the 21st century carpe diem. And you're probably right. So, what about you? We worked through my issues a little. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

universal_charm
2017-05-25 06:16 am UTC (link)

_{[ Hey, all those big experiences? Taught him a few things. And Pike too. ]}

Heh, something like that. All I'm saying is, if you keep worrying about what's to come, you'll miss that really important thing in the now.

_{[ Aaaand time for another sip of coffee, sage advice safely given, he has done his duty. ]}

Well, I guess every therapist in existence would say I have commitment issues.

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-25 07:57 am UTC (link)
	Which is weird because that's basically all I do. Not in a personal psychological level. [Time travel, man.] Defending all of time tends to make you worry a bit about the future. [He gives a sympathetic smile at that and nods. Yes, probably.] I have the reverse of that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

universal_charm
2017-05-29 05:42 am UTC (link)

_{[ He makes a very obvious face at the notion of defending all of time. ]}

Again - maybe just worry about your own present.

_{[ Who knows what can happen with that sort of thing? It didn't sit well with him and had caused to many problems over the years. NO. THANK YOU.

But his expression changed to one of teasing over the rim of his coffee cup.]}

Don't tell me that's your way of saying you have a crush on me already.

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-29 05:52 am UTC (link)
	[He kinda gets it but its his thing. Opting to ignore it, he glances over at the teasing.] Actually no, the fact is all of the relationships I've had were giving everything I had, and either my partner was taken from me by a terrorist or their hearts belonged to someone else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

universal_charm
2017-05-29 05:59 am UTC (link)

_{[ He's never going to like it. Nope. Never. Time travel cost him his father and the universe an entire planet. Time travel can suck it.

He winced a bit at that. Damn, he had hoped to keep this light, but nope. Here we go. It especially hurt since it all sounded so... familiar, in a way. He sighed, looking down at his cup, getting to the dregs now. ]}

My mom - she dropped me and my brother with uncle, and my uncle was pretty clear he thought of us as a burden. He didn't want us there, but mom was his sister and she sent cash. Eventually my brother decided he had enough and he - he just left. He left me there with my uncle, calling me a "goody two-shoes" and walked on down the road and left me behind.

And mom? She was busy out in the stars with our step-dad. I got a call now and then, but transmissions take awhile in space, and she would gone for at least six months at a time on tour. Never stayed long.

Then there was Pike.

_{[ Another pause, swallowing heavily. ]}

About the closest thing to a dad I had, and he died because of Marcus' screwed up ambitions and letting loose someone who should have never been woken up. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. And I was sitting right next to hime.

_{[ He tossed the last of his coffee back. ]}

So yeah, commitment issues.

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pocket_sized
2017-05-29 11:05 am UTC (link)

[Ray understood loss, and having a strained relationship with his brother, he visualized the story almost cinematically. He knew the beats of this Kirk's backstory, he knew who Pike was, and recalled the events of Beyond ~~though Wrath of Khan would always be better~~ and grimaced slightly.

He'd sit there, thinking about what was said before asking a question.]

So, that's why, but how are you behaving in a way that negatively effects you? Relationships? Your role as captain? Starfleet itself?

All of the above? Because committing to a five year mission as a ship's captain is kind of a big deal.

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universal_charm
2017-05-31 06:02 am UTC (link)

The ship is... different. She's a commitment, but she expects back from me things that I can give. The crew expect back from me the things that I can give to them - the promise to lead them well, or at least try, to do the right thing. They're my family and the ship's my home.

It's when someone wants... more that things don't go well. I can't choose someone else over the mission. I can't settle down. I don't want to. And it's...

_{[ He took a breath. ]}

It's only the people I saw those three little words to that leave me. Even if I don't, sometimes they do it all the same. There's enough heart break in the universe as it is.

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	pocket_sized 2017-05-31 08:07 am UTC (link)
	So what I'm getting here is, the people you're attracted to don't stay, and you can't settle down. The two are possibly linked? If you find someone who would be willing to be on the road, proverbially, would that change things? And you can say that again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	universal_charm 2017-06-05 04:37 am UTC (link)
	No, I don't think so. Proximity doesn't much matter. I just... those words tend to come with a lot of other rules, a lot of other expectations. Expectations I don't think I can or want to meet. People just leave you when you can't do that. _{[ A shrug. ]} (Reply to this) (Parent)

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