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Pavel Chekov (candothat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-12-05 21:11:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, jack harkness, jim kirk, john constatine, kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au)

Day 405 [closed action | open action]
[action | closed to Kitty]

[As it happens, waking up three years older than you were when you went to sleep is mildly disorienting. Waking up in bed next to someone who wasn't present in any of those three years compounds the effect. Chekov--newly twenty-four and, as far as he can remember, fresh from yet another near-death experience--sits up with a start. This is definitely not his room at Yorktown Starbase. This is...

MarinaNova. He's in bed with Kitty. He has been here for one-hundred twelve days.

Chekov lowers his head to his hands and groans. There are two different yesterdays in his mind, both equally vivid and real, and it's way too early to deal with that.]

[action | open]

[Chekov, three years older than he was yesterday and considerably more dazed than usual, does a circuit of the dome. Everything has a not-quite-rightness to it that he can't put his finger on and he feels oddly out of place. He isn't, of course. He was here yesterday, and he remembers that yesterday like it was... yesterday, which it was. But he also remembers a yesterday where he was a universe away and waiting for the Enterprise to be rebuilt. In that universe, he was on year three of a five-year mission.

He's looking for Kirk, specifically. It would be easiest to call him up, but Chekov would much rather talk in person.]

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universal_charm
2016-12-06 01:25 am UTC (link)

_{[ Kirk was out doing his normal morning runs. Just because he wasn't on the Enterprise anymore wasn't a reason to keep up his fitness - he would probably go crazy without his daily runs besides. He's paused to get a breather and a drink when he sees Chekov.

At first he smiles, raising his hand to greet the other, but pauses midway through. He cocked his head slightly at the other, waiting for him to approach, as if trying to get the measure of something. Chekov felt... different, and not just because he seemed in a darker mood than usual.

Face taking a concerned frown, moving closer to him. ]}

What's happened?

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candothat
2016-12-06 10:45 pm UTC (link)

Captain Kirk! [No, dammit, it's Jim here, isn't it? Chekov is too busy running to Kirk and hugging him to correct himself. He's had three more years with Kirk and the rest of the crew at home--more than double what he'd had yesterday. Three more years of being a space family, and he's extremely grateful to have his captain here.

Kirk asked a question, didn't he.]

I went home. [He lets go of Kirk but doesn't step away. Chekov looks three years older now. Although he had technically been twenty-one and is now twenty-four, his body had looked nineteen (vacationing in temporally isolated prisons makes aging complicated).] I was there for three years--for the Enterprise being destroyed and Altamid and Krall.

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universal_charm
2016-12-16 12:39 am UTC (link)

_{[ Before he can blink, his arms are full of Chekov. He blinked, somewhat stunned at the sudden weight against him, but he wrapped his arms around the other, patting his back.

His grip slacked enough to let the other step back, but he kept a grip on his arm, his face sobering when the other explained what had happened. On the one hand, he was happy that the other was finally caught up with him, but at the same time he was sorry that Chekov had caught up too, that he had to go through that. ]}

Are you okay? I mean, how are you taking it all?

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candothat
2016-12-16 09:22 pm UTC (link)

[Maybe the hugging was a bit much, but it's been a very emotionally-charged morning with the waking up with three years' of new memories and the questionably-timed love confession that happened.]

I'm... [looking for an accurate adjective and only one comes to mind] ...confused, mostly, but okay, and also sorry that you were here with me when you were still three years ahead. It's difficult to have memories of someone that they do not share.

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universal_charm
2016-12-17 08:54 pm UTC (link)

_{[ No, it's all right, he doesn't mind the hug at all. He gets wanting to hug. Honestly he is not a huge hugger himself, but sometimes you just need one, and coming awake here after going through all of that was the time for a hug. ]}

Well, don't worry about apologizing for the memory thing. That wasn't your fault.

What's the confusing part? Being back here so suddenly and no time seeming to have passed when you know you were gone for three years?

_{[ What? That would be confusing, and he had done the mental math. Chekov hadn't been "gone" to his knowledge, but Chekov now had memories of an event Kirk shared with him when he hadn't before. That had to be jarring. ]}

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	action; candothat 2016-12-17 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe not. [No, the memory thing wasn't his fault, but he does know from personal experience that having memories someone else doesn't can be oddly lonely and he is sorry.] Yes, mostly that. I remember yesterday here as clearly as yesterday at home, and in one of those yesterdays I was three years younger than I am now. [You see his problem.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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universal_charm
2016-12-21 02:07 am UTC (link)

_{[ He nodded quietly. He didn't quite understand it. How could he? He had never experienced such a time-gap, or time-jump? It was hard to decide what to call it, but that was part of the problem. If nothing else, time travel was doing what it always did and giving him a headeache. He could only imagine what it was doing to poor Pavel. ]}

I wish I had better advice for you, Pavel. I've never heard of anything like this before, to say the least.

_{[ His voice suggested that he was indeed sorry. He was Pavel's captain. He should have answers, but he didn't, and guilt twisted in his stomach over it though it was hardly his fault. ]}

I do have a question though - in your three years at home, do you recall mentioning this place, to anyone?

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	action; candothat 2017-01-07 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	It has happened here before. Not to me, but it has. [Kirk isn't allowed to be sorry! It's not remotely his fault and Chekov has more experience with this specific kind of confusing time-travel than his captain. He'll figure it out. It'll be fine.] I had no memory of this place. It was as though I had never left home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

universal_charm
2017-01-09 12:37 am UTC (link)

_{[ You should know your captain has a bad habit of taking on blame and guilt for things that aren't necessarily his fault, Chekov. It's the sort of man he is. ]}

But you remember everything when you came back, right? You remembered me being here, and your time here.

_{[ He made a soft sound, that sort that suggested he was disturbed and puzzled at the same time. It was a rather intense conundrum wasn't it? ]}

Given that this world is digital, as you said, tampering with our memories isn't out of the question...

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candothat
2017-01-14 09:43 pm UTC (link)

Yes, I remember everything now, there and here.

[Chekov is beginning to suspect that his captain is taking this whole thing more personally than he is.]

Not digital, virtual. [He would never have corrected Kirk before! See how he has grown?] Our captors have mastered a brain-machine interface; with the advanced understanding that they must have of both technology and human neurology, I think that it would be very simple for them to alter our memories.

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universal_charm
2017-01-14 10:49 pm UTC (link)

Virtual is achieved through digital means. The meanings are close enough in this instance, I believe. The point is, as you agreed, they can alter our memories at will - or if not at will, they are more than capable of constructing new memory paths and patterns for us.

Which I would say places into doubt some things, but our experiences match with the Enterprise, so that part, I will safely say for now, is true.

_{[ But good on you for speaking up, Chekov, it's an admirable quality. ]}

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candothat
2017-01-14 11:12 pm UTC (link)

[Speaking up further and elaborating on the specific ways he thinks this simulation might be created (he's had a long time to think about this and not a lot to do) would be silly since Kirk is absolutely right and it's all close enough. Maybe someday when they're both extremely bored and in a mood to theorize about things that can't be tested from within a virtual prison.

He's a bit sheepish, anyway.]

What confuses me the most [and upsets him the most, although he usually keeps any upset in check] in all of this is why.

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	universal_charm 2017-01-16 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	_{[ It is a prison. That day will surely come, and theorizing has its uses. And it's adorable, Chekov. ]} Which party? Why we are here, or the why of the events back home? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-17 12:10 am UTC (link)
	[There is nothing adorable about anything related to him, he is An Adult™ thank you.] The... [Well, he was thinking about the prison, but now that Kirk mentions it.] Both--why we are here most immediately. I think I'll never understand the why of many things that happen at home. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	universal_charm 2017-01-17 12:22 am UTC (link)
	_{[ What, you can't be adorable and be an adult? Celebrities have built entire careers off that! ]} I can't answer the first, but I can try and help with the second. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-17 12:50 am UTC (link)

[He hasn't been an adult quite long enough to appreciate the value in retaining some adorableness. He'll learn.]

Maybe not today. [Finding the why behind actions can be a dark process when those actions are destructive. Chekov is good with why when it comes to strategy and tactics (it's necessary--a good tactician needs to understand an opponent's goals and methods), but what ultimately drives people like Nero and Khan and Marcus and Krall and makes them capable of the actions they take... that's something that escapes him.] Today has been... eventful, and there are many things that I need to think about.

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universal_charm
2017-01-17 01:09 am UTC (link)

_{[ Kirk understood the whys. He knew them, because he shared more in common with those men than he liked to admit. He could have become those men, if not for those like Bones, Spock, Chekov, Scotty, and Uhura at his side.

He did not agree with their actions, of course. He never would, and he condemned the paths they had taken. But to remain a good man, he needed to acknowledge, at least to himself, that he could have easily walked their darker paths. That one day he still might, if he wasn't careful. ]}

It would certainly seem so. Come on, let's go get a drink.

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candothat
2017-01-17 01:19 am UTC (link)

[That would be a heavy conversation, but definitely one worth having someday (supplemented by alcohol, possibly). Two of the people Chekov was closest to in the previous prison were far from good; he's familiar with the darker paths that people walk even if no amount of exposure makes any of it make sense. If he had a better understanding, maybe he would have kept safer friends.

But Kirk? He can't imagine his captain being anything but good.]

What kind of drink are you proposing?

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	universal_charm 2017-01-17 01:25 am UTC (link)
	_{[ It's scary, realizing some of the things you are willing to do. He tries his best though, to be good, and he owes no small part of that success to those who surround him. ]} Depends on you. I don't mind walking you home, if you want something hard, or we can grab some sports drinks and go spar together. Exercise always helps clear my head, personally. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-17 09:26 pm UTC (link)

[Yes, well. Kirk wouldn't want to discourage Chekov's hero-worship (still intact even if that hero-worship is occasionally accompanied by frustration with Kirk's antics and tendency to throw himself in harm's way) by being bad, would he?]

I can drink without needing to be escorted home. [His heart really isn't into the scoffing. Sparring, though...] I would like the second option. For some reason, no one takes me seriously when I attempt to defend myself.

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	universal_charm 2017-01-17 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	_{[ He actually might. Hero-worship makes him a bit uncomfortable, actually. He doesn't really consider himself a hero, he's just someone trying to do the right thing and correct his own mistakes. ]} Right, sparring it is. We can go work on the sand - softer ground, and we'll have to work harder. _{[ He clapped his shoulder. ]} I won't be going easy on you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-18 12:20 am UTC (link)

[Kirk just needs to give it time--time here, preferably, where he's more of a friend than a leader. Chekov still adheres a little too rigidly to roles and titles; anyone he's mentioned Kirk to here probably thinks that his first name is "Captain."]

Don't go easy, please. I'm stronger than you may think. [He did haul Kirk's (and Scotty's!) ass over a railing that one time.]

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	universal_charm 2017-01-18 12:47 am UTC (link)
	_{[ Well, if the things you've said our true, they have quite a long time to get through that. All the time in the world, really. ]} Heh, believe me, I know. Your baby Russian face is just a diversion. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-18 01:32 am UTC (link)
	[Instead of being offended by this accusation of having a baby face, he looks a bit wistful.] I don't look so young anymore. [Physical appearances are the kind of thing a guy notices when he was three years younger yesterday.] Think of all of the things that no one will let me get away with anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	universal_charm 2017-01-18 01:45 am UTC (link)
	What did we let you get away with before? _{[ He chuckles as he starts them walking, making for the beach as he had promised. ]} (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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