Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "He had a certain naive charm"

MarinaNova NPCs (marinanova_npc) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-10-31 12:41:00

Entry tags:

:mary wesson, :mingle, aidan reilly, aigis, charlotte charles, felix gaeta, ianto jones, jack harkness, jezebel mephistopheles, jim kirk, john constatine, kanji tatsumi, kitty pryde (aoa), lelouch vi britannia, malcolm reynolds, martha jones, nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), peter parker (stnas), ryou kurokiba, sarah williams, spencer reid, spike, suzaku kururugi, the doctor (ten), ton phanan, wade wilson

Day 400 — Spooky Anniversary Mingle

(( OOC: Happy Halloween - sort of! EVENT INFO ))

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	chipswiththat 2016-11-07 04:31 pm UTC (link)
	Ah, there it is. He was waiting for this and still it makes him shift his weight anxiously, pat himself down for cigarettes and taking a too-long moment to light one. The response, when it finally comes, is terse. "You know what happened." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2016-11-07 04:38 pm UTC (link)
	"No. I don't. Not for sure." And he might not be fidgeting like Spike is, but that doesn't mean he's not anxious about it. They got so close, and then something got in the way like it always seems to. "Tell me what happened, now that you have your own words to use." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chipswiththat
2016-11-07 05:46 pm UTC (link)

Spike takes a drag off the cigarette, releasing the smoke in a restless, nervous fashion. He'd rather fight it out and forget about it but that doesn't work in the long run, not even with Jack. It's frustrating, is what it is, having to use his big boy words and actually talk about his feelings.

"You have no idea, do you? The effect you have on people. The effect you have on me."

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foreverjack
2016-11-08 03:12 am UTC (link)

Hell, they'd both rather just fight or fuck it out, but yeah, that's not what they need here. It's not at all easy for either of them, but Jack is absolutely determined to make this work and if this is what needs to be done? He'll do it.

He watches Spike, momentarily transported back to the pleasure prison and Reid saying something very similar to him. Even though he senses that Spike's problem with him isn't quite the same as Reid's.

His mouth twists wryly. "I'm starting to get an idea." He lifts an eyebrow. "I make you lose control, and you don't like that, right?"

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chipswiththat
2016-11-08 03:36 am UTC (link)

"I can't afford that."

Which is the problem, really. Before the soul he wouldn't have cared as much if he accidentally or intentionally killed Jack in the process, but now? He can't risk it. If it means them never getting this tension worked out then so be it. The price is too steep.

"Everything about you- it's so much. It's overpowering. Just the way you smell-"

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foreverjack
2016-11-08 04:19 am UTC (link)

It's certainly not the first time in his long life that someone's found him just too much, but he can't remember the last time or how (if) he managed to overcome it. But he's nothing if not determined, and he's not going to just give up on this. Not when it's something that could bring them both (and Ianto) so much pleasure.

"Not much I can do about the pheromones, I'm afraid, but... Well. I don't know how to help you stay in control, but there are ways of making sure you can't hurt me if you lose it."

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	chipswiththat 2016-11-08 04:33 am UTC (link)
	It's fucking ridiculous that he even has this problem around Jack. He's gotten high off Slayer blood before but this is like concentre, too potent to handle more than in small doses and this without even biting. It's frightening. Spike doesn't like to be frightened, so of course they need to find a way around this. "What do you have in mind?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2016-11-08 04:46 am UTC (link)

It's kind of gratifying in a way, even if it's incredibly frustrating in another!

"Chains? A spell? Or just having someone else around." He leans back in his chair, folding his arms, working on the problem.

"Basically, what it comes down to is that someone has to stay in control. If it's not you, then it needs to be me - or someone else." His lips twitch. "It's not like we don't have someone else on hand, after all."

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chipswiththat
2016-11-08 04:54 am UTC (link)

That all sounds good on paper, but Spike can already see the problems cropping up. Chains strong enough to hold him wouldn't really read sexy as far as he's concerned. More like torture and he's pretty sure that's not the route Jack wants to take. Spell seems even trickier — does he have to be brainwashed into this? Who would they involve? One of the lit'le witches that helped in putting the soul back in him? Not to mention messing with magic is asking for trouble, even if you're ready and willing to go through that.

"I could kill you both before you even knew I lost it." So no, having Ianto on guard is a no go, especially in such a distracting, unguarded moment. "I think you're coming at this too big, anyway. We need safety measures, not a bloody production."

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	foreverjack 2016-11-08 05:16 am UTC (link)
	Jack gives him an exasperated look. "Spike, you can't have it both ways. You can't talk about killing us both and then say I'm thinking too big!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2016-11-08 05:19 am UTC (link)
	"Is that really how you want to go about this? Chains and magic spells?" Think about it. Think about how that really would play out, with their relationship, Spike's history. "Carry a crucifix. Hell, carry a spray bottle of holy water or... or a stake, for all I care. I need something to snap me out of it, not to be brainwashed or chained up like a monster." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2016-11-08 05:47 am UTC (link)

"Well, if you already had a solution, why didn't you just come out with it at the start!" he demands, rather frustrated, because his own solutions made sense to him, coming at control from a BDSM background, and he forgot that Spike doesn't have that background and still doesn't really seem to get what it's all about either.

He takes a breath, determined to meet Spike halfway. "I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was treating you as a monster. I don't think of you as a monster, okay? I never did. But I can see how that might make you feel I was."

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chipswiththat
2016-11-08 05:55 am UTC (link)

"You were the one who brought it up!"

Exasperated, turning back to the cigarette for comfort. Chances are he'll never understand the BDSM thing and that's entirely because to him, pain and control and torture no matter how playful is all means to an end. It's not sexual to him, it's death, it's information extraction, it's clawing your way to the top of the pecking order. It has nothing to do with love. Maybe he could've gotten into it in some fashion before the soul, but now? It's incredibly unlikely.

"I don't blame you. Okay? It's fine." He knows what he is. What he'll never stop being.

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foreverjack
2016-11-08 03:55 pm UTC (link)

It's obviously not fine, or he wouldn't keep saying it, and Jack's getting as frustrated as he is. "So what you're saying is, letting me chain you or find some sort of way to negate your superior strength would make you feel like I'm treating you with a monster - yet you're fine with me throwing holy water at you, or burning you with a crucifix, or even threatening you with a stake! That doesn't even make any sense!"

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chipswiththat
2016-11-08 05:55 pm UTC (link)

"There's a difference, alright! If you have to chain me up from the very start, there's no trust!"

And that's the problem. He understands the need for safety measures, sure. Getting a jolt of electricity when he's crossing a line is one thing, being shackled down from the very beginning is another and if Jack can't see the difference then Spike's honestly not sure how much further this can go.

"There's a difference in treating me like I'm a threat and being prepared for me becoming one."

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foreverjack
2016-11-08 06:44 pm UTC (link)

Now, they may be coming at this from very different angles, but trust? That's one thing that Jack feels deeply about, and - yeah - he knows Spike does too. And realising that helps him finally (he hopes) work out where Spike's coming from on this. For him, letting himself be restrained would feel like his choice; he'd be giving up control - good old-fashioned power exchange. But to Spike, it would feel like he was being given no choice; that his power was being taken.

"Right!" he says, letting out a slightly explosive breath. "So it's about the different between us taking away your control from the start, or letting you control yourself but with measures in place to help you get back your control if you lose it. Right?

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chipswiththat
2016-11-09 04:48 am UTC (link)

"Yes. Exactly."

He groans — this is why this would be so much easier if they could just get it done and never need to talk about it again. It kills the mood, which is why it's probably even more important to hash it out now that they're not in the middle of it. Preparation, planning, all things he's good at but usually too impatient to follow through on. This is important.

"Look — I get that you're into that whole... kinky fuckery. That's fine. I just have a very different experience."

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foreverjack
2016-11-09 06:00 am UTC (link)

The thing is, they tried just doing it last time, and that got kicked in the balls (so to speak) and caused them to end up here. This is a conversation they need to have, because these are issues that are so incredibly fundamental to who they both are, and they both need to be on the same page before they can go any further.

Despite that, he can't help bristling at Spike's scathing dismissal of something that's so important to him, when he's trying so hard to understand what's important to Spike, and his mouth tightens instinctively.

"You're going to have to meet me halfway here, Spike. If you want me to accept and understand how you feel about these things, you're going to have to do the same for me, and not slag off the things that are important to me, okay?"

He takes a breath, doing his best to stay calm, because this matters too. "What exactly is it that you think I do that's so offensive to you?"

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chipswiththat
2016-11-09 07:55 am UTC (link)

The thing to remember here is that Spike is 90% image and talk. He slings around words like faggot and poof but never actually puts that homophobic language into any sort of action and as troublesome as the lingo is, that's something to remember. It's lingo, it's talk, it's a way to relate to the world that stems from working class homophobia and misogyny that he embraces as a persona but never really made into any sort of ideology. Kinky fuckery is the way he labels whatever Jack is into, but it's just words.

Not that the distinction helps anyone, here. It's a bad habit he needs to stop doing and maybe the struggle of even being in the same book as Jack, let alone the same page, could help with that.

"Who said I thought it was offensive?" Bristling, ready for the usual victorian sensibilities that he's been hearing about so much. But okay, honesty and openness, if only out of frustration.

"...I think maybe you're expecting things from me I can't deliver."

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foreverjack
2016-11-09 08:49 am UTC (link)

Yeah, he knows that, but he's also feeling just as vulnerable here as Spike is and he's going to take stuff personally. Especially when it's not the first time Spike's made a comment like that, the kind which makes him wonder as much as Spike clearly is whether they're ever going to work this thing out between them.

"Well, 'kinky fuckery' sounds pretty offensive!" he points out, and he's frustrated because Spike seems to be missing the point again. "And I'm not expecting anything from you. Nothing at all. I told you I wouldn't push for sex and I meant it. And I've got the message that BDSM doesn't interest you and so I'm not expecting that from you either! I just wish you wouldn't be so dismissive of the things that matter to me when I'm trying so hard to understand the things that matter to you!"

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chipswiththat
2016-11-09 08:55 am UTC (link)

It is frustrating beyond belief and if he hadn't just finished his cigarette— ah, fuck it. Not like he can die from cancer anyway. He lights up another, takes a drag as if it's the only thing keeping him from just leaving, and maybe it is. They need to see this through to whatever end, there's nothing more to it.

"It's descriptive." He shoots back, half-hearted. Point taken. Whether he'll remember to mind his p's and q's from now on is anyone's guess, but he gets the problem at least.

"It's not supposed to be like this, is it? It's not supposed to be this much bloody work." For him it's always about blood and heart and bodies, not this and yes he understands that it's necessary but the more they talk the more he starts to wonder if maybe-

"What's important then, Jack? Do we honestly have anything other than the possibility of sex? Because I'm getting the feeling that the longer this goes on, the more we're talking ourselves out of it."

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foreverjack
2016-11-09 10:37 am UTC (link)

Times like this, Jack half-wishes he smoked too. He wouldn't mind a stiff drink around now, certainly!

He sits quiet for a moment, listening to Spike, watching his body language, trying to get the measure of him. And pondering. What are they trying to achieve here?

"I guess..." he says eventually, lifting his eyes to Spike's, "what's important is Ianto. He's who we're doing this for, isn't he? Ultimately, it's not even about the sex. It's about making sure we can get along, so that he can be happy."

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chipswiththat
2016-11-09 10:42 am UTC (link)

"Get along or stay out of each others way."

Which isn't ideal, not the solution he'd want to land on because there is something between them, it just gets drowned in talk and baggage. Too bloody complicated to work out in anyone's favour.

"I told Ianto this way back when, but I don't know if I ever told you... if you want me gone, I'm gone. I'm not getting between the two of you."

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foreverjack
2016-11-09 11:28 am UTC (link)

He smiles softly. "That's a sweet sentiment, but it's not really on the cards, is it? You know he'd be devastated - and he probably wouldn't let you go anyway!"

He shakes his head. "I don't think I want that anyway. All of this--" a vague gesture round at the two of them and the Dome in general "--has shaken us up a lot, but in a good way. You've been good for him, and for us as well. Not just by spicing things up in the bedroom - or, rather, outside it! - but by making us actually talk about things we never would have done otherwise.

"And this... you and me... I don't know. I don't know where we're going but every time we talk I feel like we do get a step closer, however frustrating it is getting there! Don't you?"

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chipswiththat
2016-11-09 01:00 pm UTC (link)

He wants to protest, wants to say something about how Ianto will get over it, probably faster than he expects and Spike can burn some bridges really efficiently if need be but at the end of it all... that's not what he wants. This, whatever it's supposed to be, is the best thing that's happened to him since Rose left. Maybe even longer. It's made him a better person, he thinks, and if anyone needs that encouragement it's him.

"I don't know." Quietly, followed by a drag on the cigarette. "Getting closer implies knowing where we're supposed to be. What if we're just kidding ourselves with this?"

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foreverjack, 2016-11-09 01:36 pm UTC

chipswiththat, 2016-11-09 01:43 pm UTC

foreverjack, 2016-11-09 02:01 pm UTC

chipswiththat, 2016-11-09 02:03 pm UTC

foreverjack, 2016-11-09 02:21 pm UTC

chipswiththat, 2016-11-09 02:25 pm UTC

foreverjack, 2016-11-09 02:30 pm UTC

chipswiththat, 2016-11-09 02:32 pm UTC

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