InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Rose Tyler, I...."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-05-25 10:44:00

Entry tags:

charlotte charles, ianto jones, inara serra, kitty pryde (aoa), leia organa, piper halliwell, rebecca crane, spencer reid, spike, tieria erde, ton phanan, trowa barton, yenyoji quryoja

Day 325 [video : open]
Tyki Mikk is no longer in the prison. [She contemplates openly sharing that the Defense Force might be responsible for this, but she doesn't, mostly because too much is unknown. It was not what they intended nor was it what they seemed to have achieved in their attempt. Neither was everyone's powers changing yesterday, but that might be on them too. Or it was just the wardens playing games again.

Leading a team is something she understands. Communication with the people they are protecting is newer. She's not about to miss Lacus, but sometimes she misses having a public relations coordinator even if it sounded ridiculous at first.]

And I need to help people with their chores, so...there's that. [Three people specifically. It's her punishment for the hacking.] Tell me what you need done.

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	[private] kitty_has_claws 2015-05-30 08:06 pm UTC (link)
	[First time hearing that voice directed at her in a week. She hesitates, feeling she should take the answer to that to a private channel. It's just...private. Okay, this is stupid. She's securing the line.] Because of what we did in response. [Or it was a coincidence, but she can't really believe that with the timing the way it was.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-30 08:30 pm UTC (link)
	Are you sure that's why? [ Because he isn't. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-30 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	Conscienti just said the why was restricted, but it's pretty suspicious timing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 12:45 pm UTC (link)
	Like most things around here, then. Correlation doesn't mean causation and if there's no proof that this is why he's gone, then... there's no proof. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-31 01:02 pm UTC (link)
	He could come back now. Anytime. Without what we tried to do still done. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	That was always a very likely possibility, Kitty. You know that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-31 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. I thought we might get some more time in between. Now we can work on plan B's or work on a way out. Distraction works again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 01:45 pm UTC (link)
	Are you preparing for him to come back? [ Never did that before. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-31 01:46 pm UTC (link)
	You think we shouldn't? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 01:49 pm UTC (link)
	We never have before, aside from keeping records. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-31 01:57 pm UTC (link)
	We haven't had this situation before. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 01:58 pm UTC (link)
	That situation being..? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-05-31 02:02 pm UTC (link)
	Reid... What are you doing? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-05-31 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	I'm trying to figure out what you're thinking. What the plan is. What sets this apart from any other threat. Do we have a contingency plan if Spike loses his soul? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-05-31 02:36 pm UTC (link)

[She feels like she's having to defend it. And maybe she should. Maybe she could. To almost anyone else. Any other time. But she hasn't been eating well and barely sleeping. She's frayed at every edge and she doesn't have the defenses to keep herself going like she used to.]

So, [starting softly] about a minute ago I got yelled at for letting Ianto die at all. Yesterday, I had to walk around all day in techno-organic flesh like Piotr did. Before that I was ready to kill again when I told myself I could find other ways here. Better ways. I could be better. I stood in a room covered in a friend's blood murdered by someone I didn't even feel like I recognized anymore.

And for the last week I've been putting every minute I had into trying to work out how to stop Tyki because every minute I spent on anything else turned into thinking about you and it hurts. Every minute hurts and I miss you and I worry about you and I love you and I need you and I'm angry at you. I'm tried and sad and lonely and I don't always know what to do.

[Voice cracking.] You were my best friend. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. [Did she ever tell him that? She told Ianto once after Reid broke up with her.]

And I can't just... talk strategy.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2015-06-02 09:16 am UTC (link)

[ It's a lot and most of it he knew and maybe he shouldn't have pushed. Maybe he's expecting more of her than she can deliver. He's used to people who go and go and go without stopping, not until the job is done and then they can crumble, when they're not disarming bombs or holding UnSubs at gunpoint or racing against the clock to ensure that they're not losing one more child to a pedophile.

Home was easier, somehow, even if it was harder. More of it. They had rules and regulations in place. There was always some indication for what to do and now he doesn't have a clue on how to even answer. He has to stay professional to stay alive here but if he stays professional then he has nothing left to stay alive for. ]

Okay. No strategy. [ It's a start, the best one he has, voice raspy. It'd be better if he wasn't here, he thinks. For everyone. ]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-02 12:47 pm UTC (link)
	[She doesn't say anything for a moment, but her breathing sounds shaky on the other end. She's surprised at herself letting all of that out, and cautiously relieved that he's still there on the other end. He didn't yell or hang up at her.] I'm sorry. It's just, you know...everything. [Everything she mentioned and then some.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-03 09:27 am UTC (link)
	I know. [ He breathes, deep and tense. So used to feeling like he's walking on eggshells around her and now it's more like walking on trip mines. ] Maybe you should step down for a while. Take a break. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-06-03 12:39 pm UTC (link)

[She closes her eyes tightly at that, grateful that it's just a voice feed. She's actually been thinking about it from time to time. Asking Jack to take over her role, but not leaving. She wants, maybe needs something like this in her life. The structure. The purpose. Even the distraction. But hearing him say it...

She can't really blame him. She falls apart around him and that's not her.]

Not sure that feels better than strategy talk...

[Softer] How have you been?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2015-06-03 02:55 pm UTC (link)

Fine. You know... nothing out of the ordinary. [ And that's about all he wants to say on the subject. Closing off, shutting her out because every time he's let her in lately it's ended with another tumble down the ravine of their cracked relationship. Maybe it can't be salvaged but at least he can keep his mouth shut.

He has a lot of practice with that. ]

I talked to Nathan a while back. After, uhm... after Ianto.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-06-03 04:08 pm UTC (link)

[Fine. She's been falling apart and he's been fine? It reminds her of the secret she found from him. "I'll never get over her." The one that makes her feel like she's the only one sad about this relationship, because she doesn't think she's the "her."

She's been trying to leave herself open to him. Which means leaving all the wounds open. Part of her isn't sure if she can just be the person she used to be or if she wants that. And she remembers how good things were when they were good with him and she doesn't want to ruin her chance to get back there if they can. It feels like anytime she does something to protect herself it makes things worse between them. Might help if her coping mechanisms were a little less self-destructive.]

How was that?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-04 07:08 am UTC (link)
	[ Of course he's not fine. He hasn't been fine for a very long time now, but like hell he's bringing that up again. ] It rattled him pretty badly, but I think he's okay now. We're, uhm. We're going to try and spend some more time together. Get his mind off things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-04 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	That's a good idea. I haven't been around as much as I should. [Just as much as she can.] Or maybe too much. [Nathan was the one trying to help her last time they talked. She's become the depressing roommate. Who saw that coming?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-06-05 08:15 am UTC (link)
	[ He hesitates, wondering how he can phrase this so it doesn't sound like she's being abandoned. That's not what this is supposed to be. It's about taking responsibility for something he should've been on top of this entire time, and wasn't. ] We, uhm... we talked about that. About... you. [ It's a start. Maybe not a good start. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-06-05 02:09 pm UTC (link)
	[Oh, she's been feeling abandoned for awhile already.] Yeah? [Gently prompting, not sure where he's going with it yet.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)