Lost at Hogwarts Network Community

I am really not in a castle. Someone tell me I'm seeing things. Also, where can I get some coffee? I may have been brought here seemingly magically but I need my caffeine.

Ok the food's not bad here but man that was a shock going to the kitchen. Elves. More freaking fairy tale stuff come to life.

Look people, since I'm here I gotta do more than just sit around and jot cutesy stuff in this book. I'll be taking part of a phys ed/defense class sure but the way I see it, there's not much need for a muggle who's a freedom fighter back where I'm from. The elves don't need a chef and I doubt Hogsmeade wants someone like me to work there.

Any brilliant suggestions?

Guardian Belikov here, again.

I would like to announce I will be teaching a sort of physical education class. It will have typical phys ed elements, but I will also be throwing in some instructions on how to defend yourself in a way that does not involve magic, for those of you interested. I used to teach the same back home. It's also a way for any athletes here to stay fit and gain better reflexes.

Let it be known this class will not be for the faint of heart. You will be throwing punches and getting thrown around a little, so it's important you come in with that in mind if you're truly interested. It won't happen at first, however. If you're interested, I will see you in class.

Private to Christian
If I know you nearly as well as I think I do, I think you'll want to join. Am I correct?
I'm a little wary of it, but I know you've been wanting to train a bit.

Good evening, I'm Peggy Carter and I was told that I was to write in this and we could communicate with one another? It is certainly a novel idea. I'm Peggy Carter and have been placed within Slytherin House for my stay here.

If you got religion you better start praying. The Pope is in house.

10 Galleons. Seriously? Wonder if exchanging them for the value of the gold is worth more than the monetary value. They are real gold, aren't they?

And being in a fucking fairy tale, my daughter would like that. So would my son for that matter. The boy's interested in exploring old places. But dorm rooms? Like I was ever in some fucking boarding school. What do all you other adults think of being in the boy scouts or girl scouts? Anybody got Thin Mints? Yay, that would make it all worthwhile, wouldn't it just? Thin Mints and a bottle of whiskey. I could sleep like a black kitten all curled up in the sun. Or whatever it is you witches have around here. At least it seems like it's safe enough to have pets, I guess.

Ignore this.