Taryon Darrington (uglycrier) wrote in jurassiccitylog, @ 2017-04-14 18:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | percy de rolo, taryon darrington |
WHO: Percy and Tary
WHAT: A personal conversation
WHERE: Percy's apartment
WHEN: Just after this conversation.
WARNING: Discussion will likely involve some pretty heavy stuff like heteronormativity and its effects on people. Further warnings to come
STATUS: In progress
It had been quite some time since Tary had actually sat down to read one of the books he'd always found himself so enamored with. The stories were just like he remembered them. The hero was strong and dashing. He slayed beasts with ease and no one ever died. No one important, anyway. Having, at least, one major adventure under his belt now Tary could say that whoever wrote the book probably embellished a little on that part. Death seemed to be an old friend for each member of Vox Machina and he assumed it would've been the same with any adventurer. He couldn't have had the misfortune of attaching himself to the only group of adventurers out there who constantly ran head first into battle with little care for their own mortality, could he? He decided not to dwell too much on that or the fact that actual adventures seemed to go a little differently than they did in the books. None of it was important. He still derived a sort of joy from reading them and thinking of how his own tale was going to be so much grander than what he was spending his free reading. He had been feeling particularly confident until about halfway through the book when the hero had rescued a damsel and proceeded to bed her. The account of the torrid affair and the reminder that this hero, like so many others, spent a lot of time bedding more than their fair share of, apparently, beautiful women brought a stark reminder with it. He was failing and, no matter how much he learned from his current companions, nothing would change that. Heroes, good heroes, were always bedding women. None of them had ever shown any sign of not being interested in a woman or having an attraction to someone of the same sex. They could admire another male's strength but it was different from what Tary experienced. What he felt. He'd struggled with this fact for as long as he could remember. It was another aspect of himself that was disapproved of and looked down upon by his father. He'd tried to ignore that part in the hopes that it would go away. He'd surrounded himself with people he wanted to be like in the hopes that that would fix things for him. It hadn't. If anything it had just complicated matters further. How was he meant to force himself onto the proper path when he was surrounded by handsome, strong men who did stupidly heroic things on a daily basis? How was he meant to be more like the heroes in his stories when Percy existed? While it occurred to him on the trip down the hall that Percy might not be the best one to talk to about this it also occurred to him that Percy was a real adventurer. He was a hero and he had admitted to being in a relationship with Vax who was also an adventurer and also male. It was confusing but Tary needed to talk to someone about this. As wonderful as Doty was he could never offer up advice. The only thing he could do was listen and Tary had already found out that, without anyone responding, he tended to talk himself in circles about all of this. It was best to suck it up and deal with the attraction to Percy while figuring out how not to be attracted to Percy. He arrived at Percy's apartment alone. Doty had been left at home. Nothing about this discussion could ever make it into the book. |