I have never been so unbelievably happy that I don't have to eat shit made out of powder. In the last seven days I've done nothing but eat and finally eating has gotten boring, and now everything is boring. Now that just won't do.
As a result of all this being bored shit, I want to play a game. Two truths and a lie.
The way it works is as so:
Write down two things that are true. One thing that is a lie. Then I guess which is the lie. Plan.
I'll start!
1. When I was twelve I was suspended from boarding school for singing James Blunt's classic 'You're Beautiful' over and over again until I was sedated and sent to the hospital for fear of mental health issues.
2. When I was eighteen I got a a tattoo of a unicorn on my hooha as a birthday present to myself.
3. I've only been on holiday once and it was to the US and I spent three hours shit talking the Statue of Liberty.
GO GO GO.