Stormvale: In Character

Who: Simone, open
What: Ferris Bueller's Simone Holyoake's day off!
When: Friday, July 14, late morning
Where: Zooquarium
Status: Open, ongoing

( so this is what people do on days off )

Until I get everything set up, please give me a call if you see any injured wildlife. Deer, bats, squirrels, whatever. Do not attempt to capture them yourselves. Thank you.

(P.S. Hey guys, I'm back?)

( Have a picture of a sky puppy eating a grape )

Because I'm a masochist and also I'm being paid to promote these shenanigans, you should all come down to Starlords tomorrow and witness this nonsense and/or maybe bring me a drink so I survive them:

( this was 100% not my idea )

All right. It is time for us teachers to start thinking about school fundraiser. We've done wrapping paper, we've done homegoods, we've done chocolate, we've done magazine subscriptions, and last year we did candles.

What's your favorite kind, or what kind of suggestions do you have? i.e., what do you want to buy when the little children come knocking at your doors? ('cause, you're all going to buy come September, when they roll everyone out, right? Right?)

Does anyone actually LIKE putting together IKEA furniture? I'm about 30 seconds from throwing this allen key out the goddamn window because this POÄNG is never going together. Politely requesting assistance. Will pay in beer, coffee, whatever floats your boat. Please. Save me from myself.

So, for those unaware, there's a billion kittens at the shelter that need home.

Granted, there are two less now than there were before I showed up ...

No judging.

( Kittens )

Also, taking name suggestions. For reference, my horse is Rocket, and my two existing female cats are Chester and Marlowe.

Who: Simone, Charlie
What: Starlord's run in
When: Sunday mid-morning, July 9
Where: Starlord's
Status: Closed, ongoing

( when nothing goes right, go left )

All right. Summer must see movies. Which ones, and why? Go.

( time for a shave, or no? )

Another PSA from your friendly neighborhood watchdog. Tomorrow's the full moon so watch out for all our alter-species beings roaming the streets, the woods, the beach, and wherever else they go. Furry guys and gals, try not to bite anyone.

Who: Simone, Misty
What: Kittenpalooza
When: Saturday afternoon, July 8
Where: Animal shelter
Status: Complete

( Get out of here right meow )

My walk in closet is meowing. No. That's not the whole truth. My closet is meowing every time I walk past it and there are kittens all. over. my. bedroom.

I don't suppose anyone has the cure for kitten spawning closets? Or a million litterboxes?? I'm about ninety seconds from spontaneously becoming a crazy cat lady by proxy!

Apologies to anyone who wanted a coffee this morning and found Starlord's closed. In related news, I found all the missing ice from the gas station. Someone piled up all the bags in the lobby and let them melt in the heat. It was like an ocean of gross, sopping plastic bags in there. And also I was wearing suede boots, which are now ruined and smell vaguely of old, soggy coffee grounds. I am never going to un-smell that.

Regular, DRY service resumes tomorrow morning, bright and early.

Who: Anyone and everyone
What: Fireworks Night Shenanigans!
When: Tuesday Night, July 4
Where: Various
Status: Ongoing
Warnings: Who knows yet?

( please read me! )

I have finally found the best gift you can give yourself. We're all familiar of those school age children selling whatever it is they're selling for band uniforms or cheerleading camp or travel costs to an academic decathlon (Go Smartie Vales!). Next time, buy something. It helps the school, which is why they do it and I can almost guarantee that you'll have forgotten about it by the time your order arrives. It's like surprise!Christmas.

Now, what am I going to do with these three tubs of cookie dough.

Who: Simone
What: Late night reflection
When: Monday Late Night, July 3
Where: Her home
Status: Narrative
Warnings: Allusions to death

( those sleepless nights )

So let's play a game. We all know it's illegal to skip the fireworks even if none of our esteemed officers have seen fit to remind us.

Since we all have to go, B, B, or B? Beach, Bleachers, or Backyard? If Backyard, whose? If Beach, what're you bringing? If Bleachers ... why?

Go.

This is just a friendly PSA to remind everyone it's all fun and games until someone puts an eye out. So let's not put any eyes out and remember firecrackers can be dangerous to most people.

Keep it safe, people.

Alright, who in hell bought the gas station out of ice and why do you hate me? Are you trying to build a snowman? Help me understand your logic here.

Who: Simone & April
What: Tea and paperwork
When: Monday Morning, July 3
Where: Starlord's
Status: Closed, complete
Warnings: Language

( Well it WAS a slow morning... )