Tweak

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Tweak says, "XDDD"

kirley__duke (kirley__duke) wrote in hogwarts_dawn,
@ 2021-03-13 08:00:00

Entry tags:

character: draco malfoy, character: fenrir greyback, character: harry potter, character: hermione granger, character: james potter, character: kirley duke, character: peter pettigrew, character: regulus black, character: remus lupin, character: ron weasley, character: roxanne weasley, character: savannah monroe, character: scorpius malfoy, character: sirius black, character: theodore nott, unused: cassandra trelawney, unused: cho chang, unused: teddy lupin

RP: Party!
Who: Everyone!
When: 8pm onward, 13 March
Where: The Room of Requirement
What:PARTY!

The Room of Requirement has been set-up for a lively party. There's food (and cake!) thanks to the House-elves, and a surprisingly generous assortment of alcohol. Kirley has rigged up a music system to play a variety of music (heavy on the Weird Sisters obviously, but the RoR had a bunch of albums that had been left by various students throughout the ages so there's an eclectic mix). A dance space has been cleared, and there are little sitting areas arranged for more private moments--lots of cushions and pillows strewn about to make little nests, some squashy armchairs, etc. It's very clearly been sourced from all over the castle, and from items that had been left by students/faculty/professors through decades so the styles are all over the place. Kirley says it's not the Bubble Palace, but it's the best he could do on short notice.

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-13 11:40 pm UTC (link)

"I am. Albus and I went to school together for a few years," she offered, more than certain eventually someone would want to know about schoolboy Dumbledore. For now, she tucked her quill into her journal and folded it all neatly onto her lap.

She exhaled softly, turning to face him a little more. It was so prim, so proper, and not entirely herself but manners dictated better behavior at a group function rather than one-to-one. "Though things are... Currently complicated between you, you are Peter's friend so I think I should get to know you on some level," there was a soft fondness in her voice when she spoke of Pettigrew, a small smile accompanied by the slightest bite of her bottom lip. "So why don't you tell me a bit about yourself instead."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-13 11:44 pm UTC (link)

Sirius caught the smile, the fondness, at the mention of Peter. It made him feel weirdly conflicted. On one hand he wanted to find Peter and tease him about his new girlfriend while at the same time congratulating him on choosing a good one. On the other hand he was supposed to be mad at Peter. Nothing made sense anymore, especially not with a head full of fire whiskey. He sat up, following her lead.

"Sure. What do you want to know?" He wasn't sure how much she already knew. Peter had clearly talked about him, if she knew they were friends. Had been friends. Were friends? Fuck. "I'm an open book, really."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 12:00 am UTC (link)

She tilted her head slowly, considering him carefully. Reaching out, Cassandra tucked a long strand of hair back out of his face. Something in her gaze had changed. Large blue eyes held a heavy cloud. "Something happy... To make up for the... blood?" Her lips moved to say something else but no sound came out.

Although Cassandra was turned to him, it was almost like she was looking through him, to all the little pieces of the puzzle he wanted to keep hidden away. She hadn't blinked in a noticeable amount of time. When she did, it was like a fog had lifted and she returned back to the present. "Your favorite birthday, perhaps - not necessarily your own specifically."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 12:08 am UTC (link)

Sirius had to actively resist the urge to push her away and run screaming from the room. She seemed like she was looking right through him, seeing him. Seeing through all his carefully crafted personas and jokes to the bitter, black, ugly heart of him. That was a place that no one, no one was allowed to see. Not James, not Remus, no one. Then she mentioned blood, and he jerked back. What did she mean? His blood? Someone else's? The blood he shed in the war, or the countless times his mother... The word carved in his chest, marking him forever as... He thought he might throw up.

Then she was back, and asking about birthdays, and Sirius was trying very very hard not to freak out. But his smile stayed steady. He knew how to lie with his body language. It was a lesson he had learned very early.

"Birthday? That's easy. Sixth year, James, Remus, Peter and I turned the whole Gryffindor commonnroom into a swimming pool. We got the entire house, plus nearly every other house, in there. It was amazing. Best party I've ever been to, hands down." His voice was steady, thank fuck.

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 12:20 am UTC (link)

That was the problem with people like Cassandra. They delved into too many strange places, often uninvited because they didn't have a choice in the matter. And so had she known what she had just done, she might have complimented him on not reacting poorly. It would not have been the first time she'd been slapped for saying something out of turn.

She could see now that he had... moved? But she didn't know why and his body language suggested that everything was fine. But why had he moved? Cassandra's brow furrowed slightly but she just listened. "There are a lot of questions that go with that one - how did you seal the cracks? Did you float the furniture so it wouldn't get ruined? How many detentions did you get?"

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 02:00 am UTC (link)

Sirius laughed, a little easier this time. Maybe she hadn't been looking into his soul after all.

"Well, it was a team effort. That's how we got all our best stuff done. I'm the ideas man, I come up with the crazy scheme. And then we all brainstorm all the different, insane and impossible ways we can make it work! Then Remus figures out the actual way to make it work. James takes point on the execution, and he and I do any needed transfiguration. Remus troubleshoots, and Peter is brilliant at distracting the teachers or figuring out some obstacle that the rest of us missed." He didn't even falter at Peter's name. "For this prank we put bouncy charms on the bottom of everything, Peter actually did most of that, and then we flooded the place! We had a barrier that kept it going out the portrait hole. As for detention, I think we got about a month. So worth it."

His face completely changed when he talked about his friends. It was like something lit up inside him and he got animated and lively, flailing his hands around as he spoke.

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 02:23 am UTC (link)

"Remus - he's the werewolf one?" she asked, no judgment in her voice. It was only that there were so many people and she often forgot things entirely. Having to reassure herself that she was correct was just normal - but she'd remember it eventually. She did notice how happy he was getting going over their antics and she made a decision.

Now she turned more fully to face him, her arm across the back of her chair. She let herself lean comfortably as he went on. "I imagine it was more like a wading pool than a real swimming pool?" Though she didn't really know how deep a proper pool was. "I've only ever been in the River Swilly honestly. Not even waded in the lake," but then the lake was absolutely freezing practically all the time. Who would want to?

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 03:11 am UTC (link)

"No, it was a proper pool! You could touch the ceiling if you stood on a sofa!" He turned as well, so they were face to face.

"But you've never been swimming? That's a tragedy! Swimming is almost as fun as flying! I'd say you should learn in the lake, but its freezing all the time. Not that that stops me, but I'm insane. You don't ever want to follow my example."

As he relaxed more and more the put on arrogance and nonchalance fell away. He was just an excitable young man who loved his friends.

"And yeah, Remus is a werewolf. But he's a lot more than that. He's brilliant, and funny if you like dry humor, which I obviously do, and all around just bloodu amazing. You'd like him. Everyone should like him."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 03:28 am UTC (link)

"Oh good Lord!" she had covered her mouth with the back of her hand, hiding her smile, "That's too much water! I would have absolutely gone off on the lot of you." She was just imagining some poor first year getting their things ruined and having no idea what to do.

"With the suits women wear in my time, the best we can do is wade," she recalled the bulky suits - some of which actually had skirts - all in the name of decency. And maybe saying that they were that limited physically was an exaggeration but that was beside the point.

It seemed she was breaking through whatever barriers he had up naturally and finding the sweet center. He was relaxing even with the alcohol coursing through him that seemed to bring out a desire to just dance. "And you lot became animagi to help him. Sounds like you all were once very good friends."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 04:00 am UTC (link)

"Oh, Professor McGonnagal shouted at us for a solid hour. I'm not even sure she took a breath! That must made it better though, she's magnificent when she's angry."

He tried to remember what bathing suits looked like in her era, but he couldn't picture them. Quite likely he'd never even seen one. He didn't pay much attention to fashion.

"Well, there's a nice river in the forest, if you want to wade. When it's warmer, and we've made sure there aren't swarms of giant spiders who've taken over or something."

He tended as she said once.

"We're still very good friends. Best friends. They're my family. The only family I have. James. Remus." He paused, feeling all turned inside out. "Peter. I, Peter is..." he shook his head, feeling the alcohol. "I don't know. Peter was my family once too. My little brother. But now, I don't know how to get back there." He closed his eyes for a second. "Sorry, I shouldn't be unloading on you. I think I've had too much to drink."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 04:12 am UTC (link)

It almost sounded like he'd had a crush but she didn't say as much. Instead, she just laughed, shaking her head slightly. Some people reveled in as much chaos as they could manage and she was starting to think Sirius was one of them.

"In the forest? I don't know about that," she'd had the occasional adventure out there but there hadn't been much in the way of giant spiders when she'd been at Hogwarts and her adventures hadn't exactly been voluntary. She had walked out there in her sleep and then had to find her way back. Once or twice, she'd spoken of stars with centaurs but not often.

She considered Sirius for a moment. It wasn't really her place but... "You need to look at it through his eyes," she suggested gently, "It's so easy to say that you would have done things differently but you weren't in that position. Fear does terrible things, makes you do terrible things. Fear and desperation."

Cassandra paused but only for a moment to consider her words, "We have the benefit of standing outside time and seeing all the things we could have done differently. The benefit of separation from that fear. Can you agree with that?"

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 04:26 am UTC (link)

It would be very easy to ignore her right now. To make some joke and play it off and find someone else who would dance with him. Maybe find Kirley and lose himself in something else. But that would be the cowards way out, and Sirius was a lot of things but he wasn't that. He was Gryffindor. He closed his eyes.

"I want to. I... I miss him. When I'm from nothing had had even happened yet. Not the spying, not any of it." He looked up at her, vulnerability written all over his face. "I know we all make mistakes. It's not just him. I mess up really badly too. Even James and Remus, though not as badly as me. Peter... It was really easy, blaming it on him when he wasn't here. Now that he is..." He looked away again, ashamed. "I haven't even seen him yet. Because I know when I do I won't be able to stay angry at him. But, he got James killed. And I can't, that's, that's the worst thing I can imagine. I keep replaying what could have led us there over and over and over. I can't imagine him doing that. I can't imagine any of the things they say happened. I thought..." he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "This is going to sound stupid, but I thought the four of us, I thought we could survive anything. I thought that as long as we were together nothing really bad could happen. But it does. The worst happens. We fall apart. We don't survive. None of us. We all languish and fight and die. And if that can happen, then maybe what we were wasn't as strong as I thought. And if that's true, then..."

Why was he telling her all of this? She didn't need this shit.

"There I go, running my mouth again. Some party."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 04:42 am UTC (link)

She could have remained aloof - Cassandra, the celebrated Seer, the one who Saw other people's problems but didn't get involved because she was 'above' that. Instead, she scooted her chair closer and settled an arm around him, urging his head onto her shoulder in a very motherly gesture - at least, motherly to anyone else.

"He didn't want to do that but fear and situation dictated that he felt he had no choice," she kept her voice low, under the conversations of other people, under the music, just for Sirius. "Ignoring the fighting and dying just for a moment, this is... Part of growing up. It's not easy realizing your childhood friends won't always be there and sometimes you grow apart. You have to put in an effort to stay connected. It doesn't just happen."

She seemed perfectly content to ignore the fact that he was 'running his mouth.' "This is the perfect opportunity, as we look into a window we're not supposed to have, to grow and mature," her tone turned conspiratorial, "And maturing does not mean you have to stop having fun. It just means you learn how to mend hurt feelings as they arise." She had grown up too quickly herself, had picked up all those adult workings before she'd had the chance to be a child. And now she was doing it again.

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 05:00 am UTC (link)

Sirius was a tactile person. He craved physical affection and took any opportunity to touch others. He knew he was needy, was exhausting, was too much. He tried, sometimes, to hold back. It was hard, but he tried. Because while he could take rejection from strangers the thing that scared him more than anything else was rejection by his friends. His small, chosen, and desperately clung to family. So when Cassandra pulled his head onto her shoulder he let her. It was a maternal gesture in a way that Sirius had rarely experienced. His own mother had never touched him like this. So when he next spoke, it was to quietly whisper the deepest, darkest thing that lurked at the heart of him.

"If I don't have them, I don't have anyone. When they get sick of me, I'll be alone."

He spent so much time waiting for that. Waiting for them to realize that he wasn't worth loving. He knew they would, eventually. If they were given the chance. He tried very hard to hide behind loud laughter and manic energy, but the truth was that Sirius was very aware of what he was worth. Nothing. And someday they would know it too, and he would be alone.

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 05:31 am UTC (link)

Cassandra gently dragged her fingers through his hair, ignoring the world around them for just Sirius for the moment. He clearly needed some maternal attention and it wasn't surprising that it was lacking considering the family he came from. They only had children to keep the name going. There was no love there save in the rare instance.

"Poor thing," she murmured, closing her eyes for a moment, "You've been hurt so much, haven't you?" Cassandra needed a moment to figure out where to take this, humming softly and just cradling Sirius with the one arm for a moment. She'd held her little brother this way so many times, humming the same soft nonsense.

She exhaled heavily, "There is a secret that is difficult for many people. Your value comes from within, not without. You are not measured by how many people love you. You could be loved by one or by one thousand. It won't make a bit of difference if you do not value yourself." She squeezed him gently, "Just know, things wouldn't have gotten so bad if you didn't all love each other in some way."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

_withoutacause
2021-03-14 05:41 am UTC (link)

Sirius let his eyes close as she carded her fingers through his hair. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just her, but he found himself wanting to just let her take over. Release everything, and just do whatever she told him.

He listened to her, really listened. But then she hit on it. His value came from within. But he knew better than anyone how little value he actually had. If he wasn't a Maurauder then he was nothing. He had no internal value. He let out a bitter laugh and sat up, pulling his legs up against his chest unconsciously.

"If that's true then I'm fucked, because there is absolutely nothing in me to value."

The little bubble Cassandra has built around them burst, and Sirius felt the party rush back in. It was suddenly very loud in here. Too loud. Sirius usually liked too loud. It was easy to pretend when everything was noise and action. But now it just felt oppressive. He wondered where Remus was. Or James. He wanted another drink.

"I'll think about what you said. With Peter. Though he might not want to see me."

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Re: Cassandra & Sirius

blondemagic
2021-03-14 05:52 am UTC (link)

She sighed softly when he pulled away, letting him go. Cassandra knew when a moment was over. "Ask your friends. They'll tell you what's there. You'll just have to believe them," and for someone who was as hurt and raw as Sirius Black seemed, that would be goddamned difficult to convince him of.

Cass reached over again but this time to just lightly place her hand on his shoulder, "Maybe you should go sleep a bit. Things will seem better in the morning. They always do." Unless it was raining but she wouldn't put that curse on them. Instead, she quietly opened up her journal again to fetch the quill.

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