Charlie, are you there? I've just put Ben to bed and wanted to make sure you're alright before I turn in for the night. I'm sorry I didn't get chance to come up the the cottage today. I wanted to and I fully intended on writing yesterday as well, it's just mum's been under the weather and so I've had to take some time off work to look after Ben. I would have normally found somebody to babysit, a friend or somebody we both knew, but with things being the way they are Terry and I are probably going to stick to having him ourselves if my parents are unavailable. Not that Terry is too keen on my parents having him, but we don't have much choice at the moment.
Anyway, I didn't write to go on about childcare. I wrote because I miss you, so much. I don't even know how much longer I can go on sleeping in an empty bed, wondering when the next time you'll be here with me is going to be. It all just feels so messed up and out of place. I don't even sleep the same without you here. I should be with you, there to help and... I feel useless.