InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "oppa gangnam style"

Dennis Finnigan Creevey (dennisthebrave) wrote in finnigans_rpg,
@ 2014-09-13 15:32:00

Entry tags:

character: ginny weasley, journal: dennis

Dennis Creevey: Stakeout #37
I don't know why my editor insists on changing the title of every single piece that's handed into her. It's not that her titles are bad - they use a few too many puns sometimes, but then we are writing for the Prophet - it's just that no matter how good a title you write, she always changes it up.

For example, I had this article published yesterday:

Fine right? Well yeah, apart from the fact that I had to literally get on my hands and knees to get her to keep that title and not change it to "All fur one and one fur all" which apart from being horribly punny, would have fallen rather flat with anyone who hasn't happened to have read the Three Musketeers.

Anyway, how is everyone? This journal is keeping me awake on possibly the most boring stakeout in the history of stakeouts. The joys of being the junior reporter on the beat, right?

[Warded to Rose]
I don't know what you did to the cupboard but it nearly decapitated me yesterday. Fix it before I get home, please.

[Warded to Seamus]
Princess, I haven't seen you in forever and I am beginning to pout about it. We need to fix this now.

(Post a new comment)

	_rose_ 2014-09-13 08:09 am UTC (link)
	We should start a betting pool on how she'll change your next headline. If you can't stop her, might as well make a few extra Galleons on it, right? [Warded to Dennis] Fixed! Although zapped fingers has never and will never qualify as decapitation. Just ask Marie-Antoinette. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 09:33 am UTC (link)
	No, I would never do such a thing as that! [Warded to Rose] I've already won twenty galleons. Also, I don't think launching a set of open pruning shears at my neck counts as 'zapped fingers' Ro. I ducked and made a noise that I hadn't made since I came home and found Tom fucking Paden on my sofa. It was distressing for me, Zeller. DISTRESSING (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_rose_
2014-09-13 09:38 am UTC (link)

Of course not, that would be unethical. Chalk it up to a momentary lack of judgement no my part?

[Warded to Dennis]
And you didn't even let me know about this pot? I want in next time.

What the hell did you do to that ward? Yes, I admit I forgot to take it down, but it wasn't meant to do anything but zap your fingers, maybe turn generously-sized-for-a-bloke-your-height Dennis blue for a ~~day~~ hour or two.

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dennisthebrave
2014-09-13 09:57 am UTC (link)

Yes, I am shocked and surprised at you Rose Zeller. Deeply so.

[Warded to Rose]
The next round goes in on Wednesday, I'm putting twenty galleons in. You know I have that weird little way with being able to win at betting. I'll put some in for you if you give it to me before.

Hey! The cupboard rattled and I took out my wand and BOOM flying shears all up in where my neck would have been. Also why did you change our Wards? Susie warded our apartment to within an inch of it's life. It glows like a bloody furnace is you use one of those Residue Charms.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Warded to Dennis/Rose

_rose_
2014-09-13 10:15 am UTC (link)

I've left twenty on the kitchen counter in case I don't see you before.

Wait, I thought you were talking about cupboard with the glasses in it. I didn't do anything to the cupboard with the shears!

And I didn't change our wards. I practiced wards and removal on some of the cupboards, but I'd never mess with Susan's (I've checked them, yes, but there's no need to change them, so why bother?).

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 10:42 am UTC (link)
	I'll put the twenty in. My intuition tells me we'll win about 500 galleons. The cupboard with the glasses just madding a fizzing noise at me then let me past? What the fuck happened with the shears cupboard then? My nose is twitching. Something fishy is afoot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose _rose_ 2014-09-13 10:58 am UTC (link)
	Celebrating must happen when we do! Yeah, that's what should happen. Haven't a clue what happened to the shears cupboard. Have you had anyone over lately? I swear I didn't do anything to the shears cupboard. Although, Susan and I did hit the țuică pretty hard last week and pointing did occur... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 01:39 pm UTC (link)
	I agree! We can celebrate, maybe by like paying our rent on time and drinking heavily? You must be joking, I'm practically a nun. Also invisible. Also repulsive to men. A man-repelling invisible nun. So definitely haven't had anyone over for ages ~~or ever again~~ sigh Did you happen to point while laughing, or with wands? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose _rose_ 2014-09-13 10:39 pm UTC (link)
	Rent's taken care of, at least through December, so drinking heavily and dancing? Practically a nun, perhaps, but the rest is pure nonsense. You know I'm right, because I'm the one looking at you and any men who find you repulsive are touched in the head. Uhm... Perhaps? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose dennisthebrave 2014-09-14 10:08 am UTC (link)
	Heavy drinking and a little saving. Savings would be nice, remember savings? Heh, none of that. If I weren't repulsive then I'd be able to chat up a lad like I used to. shakes head Oh Ro. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Warded to Dennis/Rose

_rose_
2014-09-14 10:15 am UTC (link)

I work for a bank. How could I forget?

Yes, much of that, even if it means I have to repeat myself (which, I might add, I hate, but I'll happily do so for you). If you could see what I can, or better yet; if you would believe what you saw if you saw you like I see you, then you could chat up any man you'd want (taking his sexuality into account, of course).

I'll do a sweep of the flat when I get home. Until then, approach the cupboards with caution.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Warded to Dennis/Rose dennisthebrave 2014-09-15 07:48 am UTC (link)
	And I'm very glad you do. The lack of fees on my account are a thing of beauty. Aye aye, I shall avoid all and any cupboards. Don't want to lose my head. Either head. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	outofthewild 2014-09-13 10:08 am UTC (link)
	Oh dear. At least your begging paid off! Much better title there. I'm glad the ring was broken up - and that they've been found good places to be. I known I sometimes get the fallout of those things a bit. (Reply to this) (Thread)

dennisthebrave
2014-09-13 10:13 am UTC (link)

Hey sexy, I was going to ask if you'd received any of the animals in the bust. One of the Aurors I talked to mentioned that they might send some of them your way?

I am very, very glad she didn't make me make my title something horrendous though.

By the by I am coming to come lie on top of you in a platonic way sometimes soon. I require hugs from my number one boy.

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	outofthewild 2014-09-13 10:39 am UTC (link)
	Not yet though it's possible that I'll get a few later today. It isn't always promptly when they're having to catalog and test things. I remember that one title last year... You're welcome over anytime. The couch misses you (my compressed lungs a little less haha! But you know you're always welcome here). hugs are definitely available (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dennisthebrave
2014-09-13 01:18 pm UTC (link)

Let me know, a follow up article would be grand!

Ugh "Don't Cry For Me Arch and Tina" was the most appalling thing that's ever happened to one of my articles. Well no, I imagine they've been used to line litter boxes, but still.

And I miss the couch, and pressing you lovingly into it. We are the worst at being friends, I swear this is the reason why so many people thought we were dating ~~more than Paden and I were dating even~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

outofthewild
2014-09-13 10:43 pm UTC (link)

Will do, but of course!

Actually the cage lining might have been grander than that awful title. I cringed for you, I really did.

Well the fact that whenever we go out, you sit on my lap for a few minutes before I make you sit in yout own seat might also have something to do with that. You still terrify my grandmother's hope for grandchildren. (A fact which I take advantage of every now and then...)

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	openbottle 2014-09-13 10:18 am UTC (link)
	Do I want to know what kind of animals are 'destined for the dark market'? [Warded to Dennis] You can see me at Sunday's cuddle party. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 10:39 am UTC (link)
	Well there were a couple of severely pissed off Banshees, Princess. But they've been shipped over to County Cork, so there's no need to worry your curly head about it. [Warded to Seamus] Thank Godric for that. I've been needing a fix and you're my favourite hug dealer. No one else can quite make me feel small and safe and protected like you can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	openbottle 2014-09-13 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	I did not need to know that! I did not need to know any Banshees anywhere were pissed off. ~~What do you think they do when they're angry? Actually, I don't want to know.~~ [Warded to Dennis] Flattery will get you everywhere, even if I don't believe one word of that. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	unspeakableness 2014-09-13 02:04 pm UTC (link)
	Probably has to do with the job title that involves editing. That's my guess. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 02:39 pm UTC (link)
	Trying to change a title about illegal fishing in the North Sea to "Oh Fishy, fishy, fishy fish, I wonder where that fish has gone" is not a good title change Zacharias. It's a Monty Python reference. She even puts quotes from that Doctor Who show back in the 70s into titles. It's a minefield of pop-cultural references lost on anyone but Muggle-borns. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unspeakableness 2014-09-13 02:45 pm UTC (link)
	Then your editor is an idiot, and so is anyone who hired her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	Cornelius Fudge pushed through her hire. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	unspeakableness 2014-09-13 05:59 pm UTC (link)
	Idiot still stands. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 06:27 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, yes it does. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	auror__potter 2014-09-13 05:32 pm UTC (link)
	~~That's what you get for writing for the Prophet, why not try the Quibbler.~~ Be careful, stakeouts can go from boring to dangerous quickly. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-13 06:29 pm UTC (link)
	~~Shut up Haz, the Prophe's okay now~~ I don't know that staking out a woman who is refusing to leave her house to face court for turing her mother-in-law into an emu really counts as dangerous, does it? (Reply to this) (Parent)

jazzing
2014-09-13 06:33 pm UTC (link)

Switch to some real reporting, like sports. You'll be happier.

Dennis
You know I'm kidding, love. I'm sorry your editor is terrible. Has the cow Rita tried to inject herself into your stories yet? You'd think she stay away from sports, but I swear, just because it's MY NAME on the byline, she has to try to fit something in.

Tell me honestly: Is there a pool going around about how long it'll take me to hex her?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

dennisthebrave
2014-09-14 10:03 am UTC (link)

Pcha, yeah "sports" such journalism. Great for lining bins with.

[Warded to Ginny]
I don't even know how Rita does it? She doesn't even bloody work for us anymore! But yes, every now and then she tries to stick her hand down my pants and ask if I want to share a byline "and maybe something more intimate" and I have to stop myself from throwing up.

What a silly question, Spike. I could never possibly reveal something like that. But if you were to perhaps hex her by the seventeenth of September I wouldn't be unhappy.

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	jazzing 2014-09-15 12:41 am UTC (link)
	If only people stopped going to games and, you know, caring. Then you might be on to something. Dennis She always wants to do joint interviews with me, or she'll come right out and ask what I'll be writing about this week to 'jazz' the game up. Talk about someone without a clue. I think I can work with that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dennisthebrave
2014-09-15 08:13 am UTC (link)

Alright alright, I admit it I like the game coverage as much as the next bloke. The Appleby lads and lasses are going all the way this year!

Ginny
Word to the wise, that green quill of hers doesn't write what you say. A friend of mine over on the international desk learnt that the hard way before they finally banned the she-witch.

You should totally use that bogie curse of yours on her. Plenty of witnesses would testify that she made it up, and let's be honest it's the witch that cried dragon that gets eaten.

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	erniedtmac 2014-09-14 03:49 am UTC (link)
	We all have to suffer the lower end of the ladder if we want to eventually get to the top, Den. But just look at what a wonderful education you're getting on what not to do! Just don't do anything to her that would land her in my ward, okay? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-14 10:05 am UTC (link)
	Oh my Godric, Ern! I would never attack her! I'd lose my job, and I guess it would be unchivalrous. But mostly I'd lose my job. I lost a boyfriend and a best friend for this job, I won't jeopardise it over a soon-to-be-forced-into-retirement editor. Do you have to deal with twats at St Mungo's then? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	erniedtmac 2014-09-14 05:13 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think you would, it was just a joke that obviously missed its mark. Bureaucracy in its many forms always comes with twats in all shapes and sizes. Some of us do our jobs because we love what we do, and some are there for power or prestige or because its expected of them, and take their misery and anal retentiveness out on the rest of us. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	weasley_now 2014-09-15 02:08 am UTC (link)
	I'm just pleased to see that they've succeeded in keeping a reporter on staff that actually takes the time to find the facts not just make them up. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-15 08:09 am UTC (link)
	Heh, thanks Hermione. Most of the ah, less than thorough reporters have slowly been cleared out. But really it's not that hard to take time to check the facts, is it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	weasley_now 2014-09-16 01:07 am UTC (link)
	Now if they'd just find a way to toss Skeeter to the side. Though she's behaved herself quite well over the years since the Tri-Wizard Tournament. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dennisthebrave 2014-09-17 10:35 am UTC (link)
	Have you not heard? She was kicked out officially last year! She's a freelance journalist now, and can only write opinion and gossip pieces. It was glorious. Doesn't stop her from trying to co-write pieces with other journos though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	weasley_now 2014-09-18 03:42 pm UTC (link)
	I've continued to see her name but now that you mention it she's not had her own byline in quite awhile. I suppose that spending my days absorbed in legal reports has lessened my attention to detail where my focus is not needed. (Reply to this) (Parent)