Eskimo Kiss

LA LA LA.

( Coming soon to an imaginary screen near you )

Disclaimer: This is totally authentic and not at all fabricated for the AWZ femslash ficathon 2011.

Spoilers: Episodes 1346-1354

Soz, can't be bothered to post spoilers (or even to go back to look up which upcoming episode this is from, such is my apathy), but I couldn't resist sharing this picture.

( Spike and his Buffybot )

It's that time of year again! Now that the DeRoMarc story has reached its rightful place as the top story of 2010 on RTL.de (YAYAYYAYAYAY WELL DONE!!), the Eskimos have deserved a break from voting for important Srs Bizniz Plots, and as a reward you get...

...voting for totally shallow reasons, based purely on physical attractiveness! Yesssssssssssss. IT'S SEXIEST SOAPSTAR VOTING MADNESS TIME, PEEPS. [If your mouse hand is currently twitching in terror, howling in bone-grinding agony, or instinctively curling into a withered Dumbledorian claw at the memories of last year's voting madness, don't worry, it just means you're in the right mindset.]

Voting for the Sexiest Soapstar 2011 has just begun! Remember last year's winner? (We're sure you do, but go ogle him and Ulli anyway. For inspiration.)

Let's make sure Dennis and Igor and the other unfairly gorgeous AWZ actors place well this year, too!

The male candidates are listed here.

The female candidates are listed here.

Representing for AWZ are Jörg Rohde (Ben), Dennis Grabosch (Roman), Anna-Katharina Samsel (Katja), Francisco Medina (Maximilian), Ulrike Röseberg (Annette), Sam Eisenstein (Marian), Igor Dolgatschew (Deniz), Juliette Menke (Lena), Ania Niedieck (Isabelle), Heike Trinker (Claudia), Tatjana Clasing (Simone), André Dietz (Ingo), Christoph Humnig (Tom), Julia Augustin (Vanessa), Julia Engelmann (Franziska), and Michael N. Kuehl (Florian). Only one man and one woman will win.

Step-by-step instructions for the Germanically challenged:

1. Click on "Vote for [Whoever]"

2. On the next page, enter the code that pops up into the field next to it (if you can't read the code, click on "Code neu laden").

3. To send your vote, click on the blue "JETZT ABSTIMMEN" button.


And yes, you can (and should!) vote as many times as you like, but please note that RTL will not pay for carpal tunnel surgery. (Believe us, we tried.)

Stay tuned for voting updates, as Mädchen will probably get their Pepto-Bismol-coloured voting gears on soon, too.

Have fun!!!!

After you finish basking in the sparkle (and leaving tons of glowing flaily comments for the amazing creators), please don't forget to tell us Why DeRo Matters. Cheers!

It has been decreed by Eskimo vote that the littlest Öztürk shall be named...

*DRUMROLLS*

ALKIM!!! (what? Dude's name means rainbow, okay? Rainbow, FFS!)




(yeah, I can't futz with images for shit. Deal.)

Thanks for voting, everyone! Sorry, Eren, you came close. Also, sorry to the people who have children, BFFs or otherwise close people named Kim and will now experience disturbing feelings when slashing FlorAl (lololol). You're just going to have to learn to disambiguate, I'm afraid.

I expect a flood of awesome Öztürk brothers-themed graphics, icons, and fic - including that one where Marian and Veronika were hippies who named their children Sea and Rainbow - to come rolling in any day now! (Please post any and all products of your creative endeavours at no7_awz as usual).

(I know not all of these names were offered as serious suggestions, but I decided to take them as such. YES, THAT INCLUDES EUSTACE. LOL.)

Poll #5751 The Very Important Matter of Deciding the Littlest Öztürk's Name
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Deniz's little brother should be called:

I could make a topic to discuss plot and character development on Show, but that would take up all of 2 seconds and zero comments. Instead, allow me to interrupt our regular schedule of boring spoilers and... currently nothing else, for a very important announcement:

The following things have been decided by Eskimo committee:

1. Twilight entirely sucks, except for Jacob's abs;
2. AWZ kinda sucks at the moment too;
3. Something needs to happen;
4. ????
5. OH HEY, WE KNOW:

Deniz's long-missing brother, who has never been mentioned since the 250s, will come to fictional Essen soon. He will be a delinquent youth more bratty than Deniz ever was and will be played by, erm, Taylor Lautner.

Yes.

BECAUSE THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY BROTHERS, YOU GUYS, COME ON.

SHALLOW SCIENTIFIC PROOF:



New little Öztürk will regrettably speak no German because he grew up in, erm, Turkey. Or Canada. Or Peru. OR HE IS MUTE. WHATEVER. IT COULD BE POIGNANT. Work with us here.

By this point Deniz will also be in cop school, which will lead to all sorts of conflicts of loyalty given his little brother's criminal tendencies. Hot angry shouting matches will ensue. Roman and Florian will join in. Everyone will be shirtless for these because... because... because the heater broke and the entire building will be, uhm, sweltering. Yes.

And then there will be an AWZ crack week in which everyone is a vampire. JUST BECAUSE.

You are hereby cordially invited to expand this scenario to your liking in the comments. Alternatively, we could talk about how evil Izzie is with her evil doping of innocent Katja, except if you try, I will totally ban you from this comm. LA LA LA.


ETA: Young Öztürk will also need a name. All suggestions welcome! I'll start us off with Yakup. It's Turkish (Or Something) for Jacob because I'm original like that. Tadaaaaaa! GIMME SOMETHING BETTER.


Disclaimer: If you take any of this seriously or start a howlstorm of agony/outrage/blissful squee about how Taylor Lautner is actually going to act on a German soap now, we will point and laugh and laugh and laugh.