InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I can feel my soul ascending"

Peggy Carter (offthepeg) wrote in compass_network,
@ 2013-05-16 16:14:00

Entry tags:

!open, ~isabel lane, ~peggy carter

filtered to the girls
I need some advice.

On Saturday night, Steve is taking me out and apparently we're going dancing but I don't know anything more than that.

He and I are both very shy and quite old-fashioned (but I suppose time is relative here) so I need some advice about... sex.

My mother died long before she could tell me about such things so I'm asking advice here. What is a woman's... role? I know mechanics of course and I've heard gossip but it would be nice to have some honest truth from real people.

More specifically, how do I know that we're both ready for such a step forward? I don't want to risk ruining things.

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turukano
2013-05-16 04:29 pm UTC (link)

Good day, my dear.

First, let me assure you that despite my appearance, I actually am a lady - the spire has just seen fit to have its way with my husband and myself.

I have been married for over a thousand of your years, and the most important part of any relationship - intimacies included - is communication. You must be open and honest with your partner about everything you're feeling - your fears, your desires, even your awkwardness. You must be willing to tell him whether your not you are ready.

And also, it is important, I think, to realize that as wonderful as physical intimacies may be, they are only a small, small part of a relationship. Trust, communication, fellowship, friendship...all these things are far more important in whether or not the relationship will last. Sex will not necessarily make your relationship stronger, nor will it solidify a relationship that is already on the rocks. It is a lovely expression of the love you already hold - but it can never exist in place of it.

If you are unsure of what to do, or what he wants, my advice would be to talk to him. For talking of such things, speaking of what you want and what you like, will bring you closer than the act itself ever will.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

offthepeg
2013-05-16 04:52 pm UTC (link)

Thank you for being truthful and actually incredible helpful in this subject. Steve is not the most open and communicative man, I think, but I feel closer to him lately than I have ever felt. I know I love him and that he loves me.

I will talk to him when I can next, and will try to open up both myself and him. I just don't want to waste what time we may have together here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

turukano
2013-05-16 05:12 pm UTC (link)

We elves are not always difficult, I promise you that.

Communication is never a waste of time, my dear. I know that if I had an hour left in the world with my husband, I should not spend that time engaged in intimacies, but rather filling it with words and discussion and knowing him as opposed to his body.

Sex is wonderful! There is no doubt. I have enjoyed every time I have made love to Turukáno, and there are thousands of them. But more precious are those moments, holding hands, staring into each other's eyes, and sharing ones dreams. And those are the moments you hold on to forever.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	offthepeg 2013-05-16 05:16 pm UTC (link)
	If I may ask a sensitive question... does the first time hurt as much as is reported? This is also something I'm worried about; not for me, but for Steve. He would be terrified of hurting me, I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	turukano 2013-05-16 05:19 pm UTC (link)
	You may ask me anything you like. I have been a married woman for ten of your lifetimes, and very little about such things embarrasses me. I would not say that it hurts. It may be a bit strange, a bit uncomfortable, but if you have a sensitive lover who takes his time with you, even that will pass quickly. Do not be afraid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	offthepeg 2013-05-16 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you. I'll have to ask a few more women about that but it's nice to hear it doesn't hurt. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	isabellane 2013-05-16 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry to intrude here but, have you ever ridden a horse? I know it's a strange question, but it is pertinent. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	offthepeg 2013-05-17 07:21 am UTC (link)
	Yes, I rode horses at my grandmother's farm in the Cotswolds... why? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Peggy

isabellane
2013-05-17 01:25 pm UTC (link)

Part of the cause of the pain of losing ones virginity is the breaking of the hymen. Studies have shown, though, that sometimes horseback riding does that, though in a way that doesn't hurt. So, it's entirely likely that the only pain you'd feel is certain muscles stretching to accommodate something that they're not used to being put in there. And that usually doesn't hurt that much or for very long, especially if he's slow and gentle. So it could end up not hurting at all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Peggy offthepeg 2013-05-17 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	That's a big relief. Thank you Isabel (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Peggy isabellane 2013-05-17 01:35 pm UTC (link)
	No problem at all (Reply to this) (Parent)

	itarille 2013-05-16 05:09 pm UTC (link)
	Mother, what if your husband does not want to talk to you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	turukano 2013-05-16 05:18 pm UTC (link)
	You must speak with him anyway. You are still having trouble with Tuor? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itarille 2013-05-16 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	Nay! He is good to me. He has come home finally. Eärendil tires me, but Tuor says I ought to deal with it when I try telling him. I suppose he is right though, as I did want to be a mother, and now I am. Valar, I shall not complain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	turukano 2013-05-16 05:29 pm UTC (link)
	He has said what? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	itarille 2013-05-16 05:34 pm UTC (link)
	I do not want to fight with him, mother. But we should not have this discussion here; that was not the point of the Lady's question. Apologies, Lady Peggy! For intruding on your question with my own concerns and not addressing yours. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	offthepeg 2013-05-16 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	Pay it no mind, my dear. I'm sure your troubles are more worthy of advice than mine :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	turukano 2013-05-16 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	Indeed! Then come to my chambers and we shall speak in person. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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