Asuka (antabaka) wrote in clockwork_rp, @ 2008-05-24 13:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | asuka::antabaka, sakura::sakurablossoms |
Sound of White [Active]
Who: Asuka (antabaka) and Sakura (sakurablossoms)
What: dfjkldjklfsdf Asuka is having a break down :(
Where: Their room
When: Immediately after Asuka's conversation with Cloud and Sakura's with Naruto.
Rating: UGH H FOR HEARTBREAKING.
Asuka had stared at Cloud’s response for nearly ten minutes, her eyes locked on the screen as the continued to reread those words; You are welcome. It had stung – she had told herself he didn’t care but somewhere, beyond her stubborn and pained exterior, she had hoped he would try to prove otherwise. She had hoped he would tell her how much he did care about her, that he hadn’t meant to hurt her. She had hoped with stupid, little girl wishes and she found herself hating herself for it already. Her hands were shaking and she was quite sure that she wasn’t even going to be able to reply to him. It may have been better – she should have walked away, gotten herself together, but Asuka was beyond that – far beyond.
She had been clinging to Cloud’s friendship – a reminder that things were better here. He had reminded her of home when home had been a place she wanted to be. He had given her a hope to be happy, to be her old self again, and she had thought that as long as she had him, it would be alright. So when Nero had told her he had died, she remembered when she had hacked into his entry – when she’d seen that he’d hidden his true emotion of being ill. She had been stupid enough to not even question, to not press. She thought maybe he just had a cold and was being dramatic.
Apparently she had assumed wrong. She’d felt anger at him for not telling her, but guilt with herself for not wondering and trying to get him to. Her heart had ached and she’d shut down her emotions to him, but she hadn’t wanted to. She hadn’t felt that it was entirely the right thing to do. She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t know how to react. Her mind was slowly falling to pieces.
Quickly, her hands trembling worse then ever, she typed the typical response for her - BAKA! She thought that would be enough, that it would let her anger go and she could just walk away. She had tried. She’d gotten up and taken two paces away. She was glad Sakura had left so quickly as she didn’t want to take her aggression out on her. Instead, she grabbed what she thought was the source of her anger – the laptop – and she stormed to the door.
Pulling it open, she didn’t even look to see if there was anyone there, anyone passing by, and with a primal scream she tossed the laptop out of the door and into the opposite wall. She hated him… It had been so long since she felt so… betrayed.