She had never been good at accepting comfort – she avoided it like it was some deadly disease. Asuka was almost completely unaware that she cried in her sleep – she’d been doing so for years and often woke up with her pillow soaked with tears, but often she brushed it off to be sweat in a desperate need to tell herself that she hadn’t allowed herself to fall apart in her dreams. She hated crying. She had sworn she wouldn’t and yet, here, she had done so twice while awake – and countless times when she wasn’t. Before, if Sakura had even dared to bring it up, she would have denied it and told her she was nuts. Now she wouldn’t be so sure.
She wanted to shy away from the comforting touches, she wanted to scream at her to leave her be and get away from her, to feel pity for someone else. Her mind was too focused on the pain coursing through her, however, and she found herself almost leaning into Sakura – eventually her body even collapsed into her, her hands coming up to cling to her clothing as she let out sob after sob. She had never been so open in front of anyone in her life. She hadn’t let anyone see her break like this.
“H…he was supposed to be different… He was… He said… He told me… They all ignored me, just like… like before but he… he came and he… he cared for me and … I thought… I was stupid enough to think…” All her words were coming out with each sob, rushed, heavy, and spoken with more heart ache as she went on. “Baka… bakane… I… Never… Never again… No one… Loves… No one… Not me… Never me….”