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Joanie Wicker | The Wicked Witch of the West ([info]wickedwicker) wrote in [info]bellumletale,
@ 2010-05-27 00:03:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dr. watson, javert, john seward, plot: forums only, sleeping beauty, van helsing, wicked witch

Public from 703
[Some rustling is heard, a bit of harried scratching in the background. There's a bit of uneven breathing, and finally a female voice.] Hello? Is this on? Shit, I don't even know if I have a microphone. [The sound falls out for a moment before coming back, unsteady.] Okay. Okay, I think I found something that looks like a microphone. I think.

Whatever. Look, am I the only one that is suddenly trapped? I can't open my door or window, and I'm not sure if this is just some prank my friend is pulling or- [A loud pounding is heard in the background, followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back.] Just a sec, some asshole's making noise. [The female voice gets a bit softer, suggesting that the woman has moved away from the microphone.] What the fuck is going on in there? Luther?

[the voice is a near bark] OPEN UP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW. WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DOOR HERE IS LOCKED?

[there is more banging, a mutter which can't quite be made out]

I don't know! [The sound of a doorknob being jiggled is heard, and the female voice raises in pitch.] Is this Javert?

[a tad irritable] Inspector Javert. [pause, as the doorknob is jiggled again] Who are you?

[There's a laborious sigh, and the slam of a palm against a door.] It won't budge, don't break my damn door! I'm Joanie, you're in my apartment. Just sit down and don't touch anything until we figure out what's going on, okay?

Joanie who? [suspicious]

Are you fucking serious? Are you really serious? I'm locked in my bedroom with no way of getting out, and you're suspicious of me? What am I gonna do to you? I'm trapped.

[there's a mutter of merde, before a warning] Step back.

[barely any warning before gunshots; four to be precise]

[There's a scream, and the sound of a body hitting the floor. The female voice returns, shriller than before and hot with anger.] WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? YOU JUST. SHOT. MY. DOOR. YOU COULD HAVE TURNED ME INTO SWISS CHEESE, YOU PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE! [There's the sound of a door being kicked, and a few hissed curse words.]

Shut up. [there's the click of machinery as it's reloaded and then a pause.] Nothing? That's impossible -

[more shooting, around the room - not aimed at the door, though there’s the sound of a shrill scream during the gunfire.]

Merde.

[In the aftermath of the gunshots, there’s a terse silence before things begin to shuffle. There’s the sound of panicked breathing, and the female voice returns.] Holy shit. Holy. Shit. Fuck. Okay, so good news – apparently the walls are bulletproof. And they better be DAMAGE PROOF! [The last two words are shouted, before her voice returns to normal speaking volume.] Please tell me I’m not the only one stuck in a room. Though I hope none of you have a psycho cop in the next room over shooting up all your stuff. That’s something I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

[The microphone records rustling for a few more seconds before turning off.]



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:19 am UTC (link)
[having noticed the television at this point and spoken directly at it; tersely]

I am not a psycho cop. What have you done to this room?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:22 am UTC (link)
You are a psycho cop! You fired a gun at a door you knew was right in front of a civilian with like zero warning! You could've killed me, Constable Cockbite!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:26 am UTC (link)
YOU DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT TO AN OFFICER.

And I gave you perfect warning, mademoiselle.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:28 am UTC (link)
I WILL WHEN THAT OFFICER SHOOTS AT ME IN MY APARTMENT.

You gave me like half a second. Totally not cool. I should turn you into a newt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:29 am UTC (link)
I WAS NOT SHOOTING AT YOU, MADEMOISELLE.

[the pause is painful, only his breathing can be turned into the other room]

Into a what?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:31 am UTC (link)
YOU WERE SHOOTING AT A DOOR I WAS BEHIND, AND YOU DID THIS KNOWINGLY. THEREFORE YOU WERE SHOOTING AT ME!

[There's a pause with a low growl sound, and a hand slamming into a desk.]

A newt. I should turn you into a newt and then drop you off in a creek somewhere, because NEWTS CAN'T SHOOT PEOPLE.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:35 am UTC (link)
YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED, IF YOU CARED FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY.

[harsh breathing and his voice goes icy]

You witch.

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:37 am UTC (link)
YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME TIME TO MOVE! THAT IS HOW PEOPLE DIE!

[There's a terse pause, then a shrill shriek and the sound of a chair falling over.]

I TOLD YOU TO STOP SHOOTING THINGS! PUT YOUR FUCKING GUN AWAY, MY LITTLE PRETTY, OR I WILL PAVE YOUR ASS WITH THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:39 am UTC (link)
[He's ignoring the former, instead focussed on shooting. There's a stream of French curses, calling her a whore, a witch, and worse. The shooting only stops when he has to reload.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:42 am UTC (link)
[More screaming, and when the shooting stops, there's the sound of a chair being flung against the wall.]

STOP IT! STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! YOU AREN'T GOING TO HIT ME, SO STOP MAKING NOISE!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:47 am UTC (link)
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO TALK.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:48 am UTC (link)
WHY AM I IN NO POSITION TO TALK, CONSTABLE COCKBITE?

IS IT BECAUSE I'M A WITCH, OR A WOMAN? SHARE WITH ME YOUR UNFOUNDED PREJUDICE OF THE DAY!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:50 am UTC (link)
A WITCH, I COULD CARE LESS IF YOU WERE A WOMAN.

[SHOOTING BANG BANG BANG]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:54 am UTC (link)
[Screaming, then a high-pitched cackle.]

YOUR BULLETS CAN'T HARM ME! I WILL DESTROY YOU FROM THE INSIDE, INSPECTOR!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:58 am UTC (link)
[they stop, abruptly]

You will do nothing of that kind. Your evil cannot touch me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:02 am UTC (link)
[Another laugh.]

But it will. Oh, it will. I will get you. I always do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 05:09 am UTC (link)
You shall not.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:11 am UTC (link)
[There's a sharp cackle.]

Oh, I think I shall. Watch your back, inspector.

[There's a pause, and heavy breaths.]

I didn't mean that. I was kidding. Just sit on the couch, Javert, okay?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sentinelstar, 2010-05-27 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwicker, 2010-05-27 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sentinelstar, 2010-05-27 05:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwicker, 2010-05-27 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sentinelstar, 2010-05-27 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwicker, 2010-05-27 05:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sentinelstar, 2010-05-27 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwicker, 2010-05-27 12:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sentinelstar, 2010-05-27 01:10 pm UTC

[info]acatalyst
2010-05-27 04:25 am UTC (link)
Please, sir, cease your shooting immediately. Can you not hear that the woman is in fear of her life? I must insist.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:27 am UTC (link)
She's responsible for this.

[a pause, then said quietly]

He knows that number. And the other too...merde.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]acatalyst
2010-05-27 04:44 am UTC (link)
What number? Are you referring to the numbers beside these words and audio? And ladies are always given leeway, sir. You do not shoot at one, even if they are 'responsible for this.'

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:48 am UTC (link)
That one.

[Shooting...]

SHE IS A WITCH.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]acatalyst
2010-05-27 04:48 am UTC (link)
I believe, sir, that it is quite in the interest of the general good that you be contained as you are.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:51 am UTC (link)
[Just gunshots]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]acatalyst
2010-05-27 04:52 am UTC (link)
Precisely so.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Read comments) -


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