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Joanie Wicker | The Wicked Witch of the West ([info]wickedwicker) wrote in [info]bellumletale,
@ 2010-05-27 00:03:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dr. watson, javert, john seward, plot: forums only, sleeping beauty, van helsing, wicked witch

Public from 703
[Some rustling is heard, a bit of harried scratching in the background. There's a bit of uneven breathing, and finally a female voice.] Hello? Is this on? Shit, I don't even know if I have a microphone. [The sound falls out for a moment before coming back, unsteady.] Okay. Okay, I think I found something that looks like a microphone. I think.

Whatever. Look, am I the only one that is suddenly trapped? I can't open my door or window, and I'm not sure if this is just some prank my friend is pulling or- [A loud pounding is heard in the background, followed by the sound of a chair being pushed back.] Just a sec, some asshole's making noise. [The female voice gets a bit softer, suggesting that the woman has moved away from the microphone.] What the fuck is going on in there? Luther?

[the voice is a near bark] OPEN UP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW. WHY IS IT THAT EVERY DOOR HERE IS LOCKED?

[there is more banging, a mutter which can't quite be made out]

I don't know! [The sound of a doorknob being jiggled is heard, and the female voice raises in pitch.] Is this Javert?

[a tad irritable] Inspector Javert. [pause, as the doorknob is jiggled again] Who are you?

[There's a laborious sigh, and the slam of a palm against a door.] It won't budge, don't break my damn door! I'm Joanie, you're in my apartment. Just sit down and don't touch anything until we figure out what's going on, okay?

Joanie who? [suspicious]

Are you fucking serious? Are you really serious? I'm locked in my bedroom with no way of getting out, and you're suspicious of me? What am I gonna do to you? I'm trapped.

[there's a mutter of merde, before a warning] Step back.

[barely any warning before gunshots; four to be precise]

[There's a scream, and the sound of a body hitting the floor. The female voice returns, shriller than before and hot with anger.] WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? YOU JUST. SHOT. MY. DOOR. YOU COULD HAVE TURNED ME INTO SWISS CHEESE, YOU PSYCHOTIC ASSHOLE! [There's the sound of a door being kicked, and a few hissed curse words.]

Shut up. [there's the click of machinery as it's reloaded and then a pause.] Nothing? That's impossible -

[more shooting, around the room - not aimed at the door, though there’s the sound of a shrill scream during the gunfire.]

Merde.

[In the aftermath of the gunshots, there’s a terse silence before things begin to shuffle. There’s the sound of panicked breathing, and the female voice returns.] Holy shit. Holy. Shit. Fuck. Okay, so good news – apparently the walls are bulletproof. And they better be DAMAGE PROOF! [The last two words are shouted, before her voice returns to normal speaking volume.] Please tell me I’m not the only one stuck in a room. Though I hope none of you have a psycho cop in the next room over shooting up all your stuff. That’s something I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

[The microphone records rustling for a few more seconds before turning off.]



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:26 am UTC (link)
YOU DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT TO AN OFFICER.

And I gave you perfect warning, mademoiselle.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:28 am UTC (link)
I WILL WHEN THAT OFFICER SHOOTS AT ME IN MY APARTMENT.

You gave me like half a second. Totally not cool. I should turn you into a newt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:29 am UTC (link)
I WAS NOT SHOOTING AT YOU, MADEMOISELLE.

[the pause is painful, only his breathing can be turned into the other room]

Into a what?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:31 am UTC (link)
YOU WERE SHOOTING AT A DOOR I WAS BEHIND, AND YOU DID THIS KNOWINGLY. THEREFORE YOU WERE SHOOTING AT ME!

[There's a pause with a low growl sound, and a hand slamming into a desk.]

A newt. I should turn you into a newt and then drop you off in a creek somewhere, because NEWTS CAN'T SHOOT PEOPLE.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:35 am UTC (link)
YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED, IF YOU CARED FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY.

[harsh breathing and his voice goes icy]

You witch.

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:37 am UTC (link)
YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME TIME TO MOVE! THAT IS HOW PEOPLE DIE!

[There's a terse pause, then a shrill shriek and the sound of a chair falling over.]

I TOLD YOU TO STOP SHOOTING THINGS! PUT YOUR FUCKING GUN AWAY, MY LITTLE PRETTY, OR I WILL PAVE YOUR ASS WITH THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:39 am UTC (link)
[He's ignoring the former, instead focussed on shooting. There's a stream of French curses, calling her a whore, a witch, and worse. The shooting only stops when he has to reload.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:42 am UTC (link)
[More screaming, and when the shooting stops, there's the sound of a chair being flung against the wall.]

STOP IT! STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! YOU AREN'T GOING TO HIT ME, SO STOP MAKING NOISE!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:47 am UTC (link)
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO TALK.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:48 am UTC (link)
WHY AM I IN NO POSITION TO TALK, CONSTABLE COCKBITE?

IS IT BECAUSE I'M A WITCH, OR A WOMAN? SHARE WITH ME YOUR UNFOUNDED PREJUDICE OF THE DAY!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:50 am UTC (link)
A WITCH, I COULD CARE LESS IF YOU WERE A WOMAN.

[SHOOTING BANG BANG BANG]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 04:54 am UTC (link)
[Screaming, then a high-pitched cackle.]

YOUR BULLETS CAN'T HARM ME! I WILL DESTROY YOU FROM THE INSIDE, INSPECTOR!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 04:58 am UTC (link)
[they stop, abruptly]

You will do nothing of that kind. Your evil cannot touch me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:02 am UTC (link)
[Another laugh.]

But it will. Oh, it will. I will get you. I always do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 05:09 am UTC (link)
You shall not.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:11 am UTC (link)
[There's a sharp cackle.]

Oh, I think I shall. Watch your back, inspector.

[There's a pause, and heavy breaths.]

I didn't mean that. I was kidding. Just sit on the couch, Javert, okay?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 05:16 am UTC (link)
[Silence]

I will not listen to a witch.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:19 am UTC (link)
[Angry huff.]

Fine. But when the full moon is over, I - the wicked witch - am going to leave, and there will be an innocent, non-witch lady left behind.

And she'd really appreciate it if you didn't destroy her apartment.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 05:23 am UTC (link)
[A pause. It's reasonable.]

I will not destroy anything else of hers. He's protesting, as well.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:41 am UTC (link)
[She sighs with relief.]

Thank you.

[A pause.]

Well, you should listen to him. He's smart.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 05:56 am UTC (link)
[Correcting.]

He is interfering and an embarassment. Like with that woman.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 05:58 am UTC (link)
[A sharp hiss of anger.]

He's a good man, Inspector. He's dedicated to his work and the people close to him. The fact that he has friends doesn't make him an embarrassment.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 06:10 am UTC (link)
He is distracted from his work.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wickedwicker
2010-05-27 12:27 pm UTC (link)
Oh, he has a life. That's not a crime, Const-

[She catches herself and takes a deep breath.]

Look. Let's just drop this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]sentinelstar
2010-05-27 01:10 pm UTC (link)
Gladly.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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