Marauders!: An 80s AU

Hello, my beautiful loves.

Would the owner of a pair of men's pants received today during the Request Hour please not send any others? Even the owl with which they arrived was offended. I've since had them incinerated. I cannot stress strongly enough how much I do not want things like that to ever be sent my way. Don't do it.

[Warded to the Order, and any Potter Pals with children around Harry or Noah's ages]

Yo ho mateys! Harry's birthday extravaganza is this Saturday, 12 noon, Great Lake, Just outside the Hogwarts boundaries. All proper protections have been arranged. An Apparition spot will be set up, and Portkeys available to those who need them.

And all of you sods with no children are welcome. There will be grown up fun to be had as well.

[Warded to Sirius]

This would be a good time to tell you that I'm not dead and I'm coming home. Do tell me that we still have a home. Are you living in said home? Did you destroy it? And where's Kreacher? If you have mistreated him or hurt him, I will hurt you.

Regulus

[Warded to Narcissa and Andromeda]

My dearest cousins,

I know this will come as a surprise, but I - Regulus - am alive. For reasons to complicated to explain here, I decided to disappear after the Dark Lord's demise. However, new and raising Dark wizards have convinced me that it's time to return from the land of the dead.

I hope that this doesn't cause you undue angst and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Lovingly,
Regulus

[Warded to Severus Snape]

I'm alive. You probably knew because of Dumbledore, but I thought I'd make it official. Also, we have new dark wizards rising. Really can't this people find something better to do?

Regulus

You know, I'm sure that Professor Sprout must just have a standard copy she sends out to me at this point. I swear I hear more from her than I do from my daughter.

In other news the cafe has food that are half off from now until closing if you need anything.

[Sirius]

You will be pleased to know I think she is going to try to break your record for detentions.

[Cissa]

I Do you need anything? yep that's a great start Andy

[Lucius]

I hope everything is okay