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[Jan. 21st, 2012|09:01 pm] |
It's almost Valentine's Day, kids of Taunton, and by no coincidence does that holiday abbreviate to VD. I'm going to teach a few How to Use Protection seminars, and I'll cover everything from condoms to dental dams and which lubes taste like bleck. Be there, or be covered in itchies.
Hell, adults can come too if you need a refresher. |
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[Jan. 9th, 2012|01:10 am] |
So, I know there's a metric fuckton of kids from the future around. As your guidance counselor if you go to Taunton, hit me up with any questions or ranting about how your parents are really small or talking about your junk and how to use it or whatever. I'm here. |
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[Dec. 8th, 2011|04:26 pm] |
Oh my god, I found the friggin' superhero store.
(Yes, I bought all of them.)
Han, now we can match. We'll be jacket buddies. |
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[Dec. 3rd, 2011|06:28 pm] |
Wow, I'd forgotten how good Super Glue is at holding cuts together. That's gonna scar over.
That was a rush and hella fun, who wants a beer? Drinks are on me tonight. |
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[Nov. 8th, 2011|12:52 pm] |
Jaina, I think I have the flu. I'm just going to lay here for a while and pray for the sweet release of death. Don't worry, I don't think the twins gave it to me. |
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[Oct. 21st, 2011|06:56 pm] |
You've got to be kidding me. Even Tatoonie had better parts savaging than this place.
At this rate I'll never get her running again. |
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[Sep. 26th, 2011|11:37 pm] |
goddamn that windy thing hurts my fuckin' head -
what, again? |
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[Aug. 7th, 2011|07:47 pm] |
Okay, so summer? It's almost over, cats and kittens, so it's time that you wrap up whatever little romance it is you're doing and think about, oh, I don't know, going back to school.
Don't get arrested, and oh, I don't know. Do your summer reading. I'll kick your ass. |
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[Jul. 16th, 2011|01:29 pm] |
Seriously? Just 'cause I'm on a bike doesn't mean I'm here to steal your children. They were running a fucking lemonade stand, and I bought some of said fucking lemonade.
Jesus fucking christ. Tattoos =/= child molester. |
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[Jun. 17th, 2011|12:35 pm] |
There's nothing like a breaking up a barfight to make a girl hungry. Anyone peckish? My treat. |
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[Jun. 3rd, 2011|03:54 pm] |
Ugh. Allergies can blow me. Seriously, I kind of want to curl up in a ball and sneeze until I die. |
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[May. 22nd, 2011|10:02 pm] |
Summer vacation is quite possibly the best invention ever. Maybe my pale ass can get some sun now.
Keller, call me when you see this.
( Annie. ) |
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| Locked from the Cheevys |
[May. 20th, 2011|09:20 pm] |
Broke up with Keller. Found out what my sister and Maison got up to. Don't fucking wait up. |
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[May. 4th, 2011|10:00 pm] |
Summer is so close, I can taste it. Mama needs a road trip. Anybody feel like piling into a van and wandering around somewhere, pulling over at stupid attractions? I want to go to Reptile World in Texas. |
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[Apr. 23rd, 2011|07:26 pm] |
I've got the twins, Jaina, don't you worry about us. We're going to my brother's. You do your Force thing, Pretty.
Stay safe. I love you, and don't feel like getting killed to avenge you. |
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| Locked from Zepar and Michael |
[Apr. 14th, 2011|09:55 pm] |
Anyone got a punching bag I can use? |
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[Mar. 31st, 2011|03:27 pm] |
I've decided that I need a motorcycle. I think it's the closest I'm going to get to a lightcycle around here. Does anyone know where I can buy one? |
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[Mar. 25th, 2011|10:27 pm] |
Spring Break is coming up, so this message is for all of my kids from Taunton. I swear, if you end up in jail or trouble, do not call me to bail you out. I will show up and laugh at you. Either call your parents or just don't do stupid crap and get caught. If you have to be stupid, be smart enough where nobody catches you, Jesus. |
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[Mar. 8th, 2011|04:55 pm] |
Jaina? Can we talk? |
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[Feb. 27th, 2011|12:01 am] |
Harmony? |
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[Jan. 19th, 2011|09:17 pm] |
Huh. Maybe this place doesn't suck half as much as I thought. |
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[Jan. 15th, 2011|12:10 pm] |
I'm finally back from a touring tournament, kind of didn't tell anyone I was going, sorry about that.
I'm back now though, probably won't be getting into another one for a while, but anyway, what's this I hear about my granddaughter getting herself knocked up? |
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[Dec. 31st, 2010|09:51 pm] |
Happy New Year's Day or Eve, depending on where you are. But either way, if any of my students drink and drive, I will personally kick your ass so hard you'll piss into a bag for the rest of your life. |
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[Dec. 20th, 2010|08:14 pm] |
Shopping done. May I never go inside another goddamn mall until at least March. It's a good fuckin' thing I like my family too, or I'd be pissed.
Speaking of, I expect to see all of you on Saturday, or I'll hunt you down and put a boot in your ass. |
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[Dec. 18th, 2010|09:41 am] |
Hey, Jaina. What're you and the kids doing for the holdiays? |
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[Dec. 11th, 2010|10:18 pm] |
I must admit, I am more than pleased to be back in my own familiar body. The other was so...
I do not know how you women do it. |
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[Dec. 4th, 2010|03:17 pm] |
If this is someone's idea of a joke, I'm not laughing. |
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[Nov. 27th, 2010|11:54 am] |
I'm thankful for my family and the friends I've made here. But mostly, I'd like to say I'm thankful for the fact that the bunch of you have been pretty drama-free lately. |
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[Nov. 18th, 2010|03:06 pm] |
So, I got a job offer to work at Taunton, and I took it. So, now I guess I need to look for a place in London.
Anybody going to that school, let me know if you need anything. That's literally my job, after all. |
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[Nov. 11th, 2010|12:30 am] |
Come on, Thanksgiving break. Mamma needs a couple of days where she can sleep in and relish a Barry Manilow-less existence.
Anybody want to go to a movie? I promise whatever we pick out will stay whatever we pick out. |
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[Oct. 27th, 2010|05:16 pm] |
I ate a Hershey bar, and now every time I turn on the radio, Copacabana comes on. On repeat. That's the only song that plays.
Fucking ass... goddamn. |
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[Oct. 9th, 2010|05:59 am] |
...
Diplomacy. |
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[Oct. 8th, 2010|06:53 pm] |
Apparently my job is to now boost morale.
Cheer the fuck up. We're not dead.
Carry on. |
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[Sep. 22nd, 2010|06:40 pm] |
Anybody want to be my date to a wedding? My surprise nephew is getting married, and I figure hey, someone out there might want free food. Fair warning, though, if you grab my chest or ass, I will punch you and you will lose teeth. |
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[Sep. 16th, 2010|10:25 pm] |
... what fresh hell is this? |
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