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[Apr. 19th, 2011|12:17 pm] |
So I was out on my morning jog an here I came upon some batch of weeds.
Damn things decided to try an' trip me up an' eat me.
Figgered y'all should know somethin' a mite fishy's goin' on. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|12:21 pm] |
My maidservant just informed me that there is a strangely dressed turtle with a gas lantern standing on the porch, directly upon the morning paper.
Whoever sent him, I don't have the time. Call him back. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|12:25 pm] |
... does anyone want to explain to me why a kobold just threw an apple at me on my way out of Tesco? |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|12:33 pm] |
It seems that my world has dropped in some rather unpleasant beasts. Here are a few tips for the few monsters I've already heard about in London:
- Squirrels with capes are equipped with buckets and very fast, sharp tiny fists. Please avoid them unless you don't mind killing things.
- If you see oversized, walking pitcher plants, they can poison you and WILL attempt to drown and eat you. Fire works best on them.
- The glowing blue ghost-wolves with two heads... you should probably just run away from, I doubt ANY of you have enough experience to take them down on your own. If you DO have experience, however, do not use any dark force magic, because that will only heal them.
- The hopping holly leaves are weak, and will more than likely run away from you first. But they do happen to carry some rather valuable antiques, so if you think it's worth the trouble, by all means.
If anyone has any other trouble with them, let me know.
Brend, I think it's rather safe to say I will not be in for work today. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|01:27 pm] |
Who the hell sent stitchlings here? Look, I'm eight months pregnant, I don't have time to blow things up, I have to go to an OB appointment.
Crap. I think it's a Thing. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|02:10 pm] |
What beasts are these? Magic must be to blame!
Why are all of England's knights bloody actors and musicians? |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|02:20 pm] |
Usually, in times like these, I offer up Mordhaus as a refuge for those who cannot fend for themselves.
Unfortunately, it seems as if Mordhaus has become a dungeon. A very, very dangerous dungeon. So unless you're really fucking good with a sword, I suggest you guys find a different place to seek shelter.
Dethklok and all hangers-on will be posted at the Mini-Mordhaus in London until further notice. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|02:32 pm] |
As we go about our days here, please do not attack the large, purple, speaking dragon. It is me, attempting to save your lives - if you choose to live them! |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|03:27 pm] |
Zevran? Anyone who might possibly be from Thedas?
Is there any reason why two darkspawn rushed me at the port-key this morning when I landed near the Guildhall? They're dead now, but really, I didn't think this place had darkspawn. We don't have any Grey Wardens here, do we? |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|06:08 pm] |
Ladies and gents who don't know how to defend yourselves, tell me here so I can come get you and find a safe spot for you. Nobody's dying all permanent like on my watch. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|08:36 pm] |
Oh, just what I needed. I was just about missing crushing things with my mind.
Might not be mechs or pirates, but weird demonic creatures work just as well. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|09:55 pm] |
Miku and I are safe, no thanks to our Master. Thank you to all of those who texted in worry of us. We are staying in Uruk for the time being. |
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[Apr. 19th, 2011|09:58 pm] |
Hee! |
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