vamphile (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} vamphile) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} qaf_drabbles,@ 2007-12-19 15:16:00 |
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| Entry tags: | author: vamphile, challenge #42: author's choice, epic series: hustler!j/whore in a hoody |
Whore In A Hoody
Title: Hustler!Justin XXVII (Whore in a Hoody)
Author: Vamphile
Condom(s): None
|Hustler!Justin | II | III | IV| V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII | XIX | XX | XXI | XXII | XIII | XXIV | XXV | XVI |
Hustler Justin XXVII
Whore In A Hoody
I hear him whisper Isaac’s name as he closes his eyes. I can’t close mine. Images of what he told Don, details that I never pushed for about “practice sessions” are burned there. He was fourteen! He’s still only seventeen. The way he says Isaac’s name, the wistful dreamy tone sickens me as much as what’s been done to him. I stroke his back and then slide away from him. He’s too drugged to notice I’m gone. I don’t want to be an Isaac substitute. Charlie’s already at the door. “Don’t let him try to repay your kindness.” He nods.
~~~302~~~
I wake up alone. I’m groggy but not so doped I don’t feel the sinking sense of loss. I move to my own room. I don’t like sleeping in the other one. I pull the covers over my head completely and keep my eyes open in the warm dark space. I have everything I ever wanted. Clients who pay well, a safe place to escape, a big chair and time to sketch and write. Why did Brian fuck with that? I want to cry but I’m out of tears. I let myself sleep again. Thinking doesn’t hurt when you sleep.
~~~303~~~
I’m distracted the rest of the day. I call Charlie and make sure he’s not going anywhere and then try to focus on work. Luckily I can do a lot of this shit without having to concentrate, because I can’t get my mind of a 17 year old twink who’s hurting because of me. And then I get angry again. It’s not because of me. It’s because of Isaac. I call him but there’s no answer. Charlie swears that Justin hasn’t left. I leave at eight and meet peter at his office. I don’t want to do this in public.
~~~304~~~
When I wake up again the Valium has worn off. I wonder if something stronger would make this better. I know it will momentarily but in the long run, there’s only one thing that will make it better. I get dressed and open the door. Charlie’s standing there, blocking my exit. “Move.”
He shakes his head.
I try to squeeze by but he’s determined.
“Charlie. You’re supposed to keep me safe, not prisoner.”
He shakes his head. “Boss says to stay 'til he gets here.”
I seethe. “I’m the boss. Let me out!”
He doesn’t move. “He’ll be here soon.”
~~~305~~~
Peter doesn’t tell me much that I didn’t know. “He’s transferring his dependence from Isaac to you. He may not even be aware he’s doing it.”
“How dangerous is that? I mean, I’m not going to hurt him.”
“It’s a stopgap measure, but it can’t be more than that or he’ll never be anything other than an abused kid. He’ll never mature or get past this. Love and dependence are linked in his mind.”
“He’s in love with me?”
“You’re not stupid Brian. Just because you don’t want to be in love with him doesn’t mean you’re not.” I sigh.
~~~306~~~
Brian shows up ten minutes later, with takeout. “Charlie won’t let me leave.”
“Where were you going?”
“What’s for dinner?”
He lets me change the subject and I’m halfway through my chicken Parmesan when he pours more wine and asks again.
“I need to find someone.”
“Isaac?”
I nod. He doesn’t react. I’m surprised. “You aren’t going to yell?”
“No.”
“So I can go?”
“No.”
“But…”
“No.”
“Brian…”
He sighs. “Justin. He hurt you, and I don’t think he wants you to find him. It’s classic pedophile behavior. Once you started to look like a man, his interest was gone.”
~~~307~~~
He pulls his hand from mine and drains his glass. I refill it. He gives me all the standard protests but some of his passion is gone from them. He’s starting to see that it’s true. It’s textbook. The fact that Isaac’s probably seducing some 12 year old right now bothers me but not as much as all the things Peter said about me, and Justin and what we might be in for, emotionally. He gives up trying to convince me. “I can’t live locked in this apartment.
“I’ll tell Charlie to stand down, but there are a few conditions…”
~~~308~~~
I listen and nod, and promise. No picking up guys on street corners, (not a problem). No looking for Isaac… that one hurts but I have an idea that doesn’t involve leaving to implement. Letting Charlie stand inside the apartment if have clients over.
I choose to ignore the if. I have a client booked for tomorrow morning. Okay, so the new deal says I have to tell him that. It’s almost eleven when I finally tell him. He stares and nods. “Let me see the book.”
I get it for him because the argument would end this way anyway.
~~~309~~~
Peter was right. I don’t like doing it but apparently someone has to 'til he can do it for himself. I cross off the symbol that means there’s no safeword and the one that indicates that drawing blood doesn’t require that the client stop immediately. “No more of those.”
He nods. He’s transferred his decision making from Isaac to me. Great. So to him, this is love. He sits next to me on the sofa. His warm body curled around mine. “Are you going to help me practice?”
Holy fuck. What have I gotten myself into? I shake my head.
Cont...