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vamphile ([info]vamphile) wrote in [info]qaf_drabbles,
@ 2007-12-10 13:08:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:author: vamphile, challenge #42: author's choice, epic series: hustler!j/whore in a hoody

Challenge #42: Author's Choice
Title: Hustler!Justin XI
Author: Vamphile
Condom(s): 4 to Justin 2 To Brian

Hustler!Justin
Hustler!Justin II
Hustler!Justin III
Hustler!Justin IV
Hustler!Justin V
Hustler!Justin VI
Hustler!Justin VII
Hustler!Justin VIII
Hustler Justin IX
Hustler!Justin X




Hustler Justin XI






I shrug off his anger and his dismissal of my reasoning. “It…”

“Pays better. You keep saying that.”

“It does.”

“But you get hurt.”

“It’s not usually this bad, and when it is, there are guys who prefer that.”

His eyes blaze and then there’s a mask. A blank look that I can’t read. “Prefer that they get you pre-beaten?”

“Stop saying that.”

“Why?”

“Because they don’t beat me. That’s for poor little victims of domestic violence. They cause pain, but I can take a little pain.”

“For money.”

“Yeah, I never understand why anyone would do this for fun.”


~~~115~~~
He doesn’t see himself as a victim. Getting paid for it doesn’t make it less dangerous. He’s fidgeting and waiting for me to say something and I’m not sure what to say. The fact that there are people who would get off on him looking the way he does now is possibly more upsetting than the fact that there are people who want to do this to him in the first place, but all of that is secondary to the fact that he doesn’t see any reason not to let them. I pour us each another drink. He downs his.


~~~116~~~
The aspirin is wearing off and I could use something stronger but I have a feeling asking him to go score something for me would be counterproductive. I move towards him, pushing the pain and all thoughts back. He shakes his head and moves a little further away. “I’m not letting you touch me 'til you’re healed.”

“By then I’ll be long gone. This won’t be completely healed for a couple of weeks.”

He stares and I realize he’s perfectly willing to keep me here for a couple of weeks. What the fuck is this guy’s issue? I shake my head.

~~~117~~~
A couple of weeks sounds like it might be long enough to figure out how his head got so fucked up in the first place. He shakes his head and I realize that I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, or why I’m doing it but Jesus, this kid can not just set up shop with no one to make sure he doesn’t end up bleeding to death on the floor.

“Who took care of you before?”

“My parents.”

“No, twat. Who got you the clients, made the appointments and ensured you weren’t bleeding internally?”

“Nice try. No.”


~~~118~~~
He wants to know about Isaac. Not gonna happen. I cross my arms and put my feet up on the coffee table. He shakes his head. “You play the little boy role well, but you’re really pretty fucking stubborn.”

“When I’m not getting paid not to be. It is my life. When I’m not on the clock, it’s my decisions.”

He smiles. “You are on the clock.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to hear. But you have to tell me what that is, daddy.” I smirk as he flinches. Using my best little boy persona I giggle and pout.


~~~119~~~
That’s just sick. “Cut it out.”

“Cut what out?” He’s actually twirling a piece of his hair and his eyes are suddenly wider. His entire expression and demeanor is different.

“Justin.”

He stops. “See, I’m good at it.”

“Congratulations. Go be an actor, wait 'til you’re 21 and star in porn but…”

He cuts me off with a harsh laugh. “Brian, I can’t plan for something that might not happen.”

I look up at him. “Might not happen?”

“What are the odds I’m going to make it to twenty-one?”

He’s right. The more I know, the less likely it seems.

cont...


(Post a new comment)


[info]testdog65
2007-12-10 06:32 pm UTC (link)
OK, and now you've killed me. The fact that Justin isn't a victim provides no comfort at all because, as Brian realizes, he just doesn't get what's wrong with what he's doing. In other words, he values himself so little that it just doesn't matter. Such a paradox because he's strong enough to stand on his own, but so in need of someone to take care of him. And while I'm totally angsting all over the place, I'm also amazed at how well you did that.

~Ellen

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-10 06:39 pm UTC (link)
yeah. we see these glimmers of strong!justin, whom i love like woah, but it's a Strong!justin with no sense of self worth. his pain doesn't matter.

and justin's not quite a vicitim, but then just because he's making the choice, does that really erase the whole victim thing?

no, he doesn't give in to the victim "oh poor me" mentality, but still...
okay, really have to SUN

if i do some stuff, i can come back and write more.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]zaipixie
2007-12-10 07:01 pm UTC (link)
You're brain is a scary - and oddly, very detailed - place to visit.

Brian is starting to see the brilliance in this young man. Damn, he's intelligent. And broken. And strangely strong at the same time.

More soon? Please?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-10 07:14 pm UTC (link)
yes, more soon.

and yes, my brain is all of those things and more. i spend a lot of time in my own head and even i haven't mapped the whole place out yet.

This is a strong!justin, he's just damaged and broken... and we'll find out more about that. and brian sees his brilliance and just how fucking twisted his thinking is, and i think the twisted thinking is the part he'd like to fix because, you know, seeing Justin going out and with both of them knowing he's going to get hurt... it's not even on the top ten thousand of brian's list of things to do.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]britin_forever
2007-12-10 08:42 pm UTC (link)
This is breaking my heart...but I am comforted that at least Justin has some strength in him; Brian just needs to tap into that and get Justin to use it positively. Looking forward to the healing!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:26 am UTC (link)
yeah, he has some strenght... it just needs to be refocused.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rosy5000
2007-12-10 08:52 pm UTC (link)
This story is going to break me before it's done.

So many times, I want to take Justin by the shoulder and shake some sense into him, and I'm sure Brian feels the same though... though it'd be counterproductive. So I'll leave it up to Brian's inventive mind to figure out a better solution. *grins*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:28 am UTC (link)
Yeah, Even Brian may not have what it takes to pull justin out of this... (pfft, you know i really won't be able to leave it like that)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]mona_may56
2007-12-10 09:24 pm UTC (link)
Justin is so fucked up! I want to hug him and slap him, all at the same time.
Your portrayal of his character is amazing. I love that he is cocky yet vulnerable. He will certainly drive Brian crazy before the story is over ^^

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:29 am UTC (link)
He's already driving Brian crazy, and this is far from over. and yes, it's amazing how much everyone seems to want to hug him, while kicking him in the shins or shaking him.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]not_yet_defined
2007-12-10 10:48 pm UTC (link)
alright, you win...119 made me actually cry. I mean previous parts made my heart hurt, but I don't really cry all that easily...but this: “What are the odds I’m going to make it to twenty-one?”

ouch vampy. deluding himself into believing he can do this safely is one thing...knowing that what he's doing could seriously kill him, and not caring enough to stop. fuck.

*goes off to curl up in a sad little ball of hurt for justin*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:30 am UTC (link)
NO!!!! Don't curl up in a ball, you must work, and sleep and read and feed back when i post the next section. Yes, justin isn't dumb enough to think that he'll make it out of this alive at the rate he's going.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]minuet9
2007-12-10 11:24 pm UTC (link)
*sobs* *sniffs* I love this story *wails* Really I do *sobs*

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:31 am UTC (link)
well, anything that can make you sob and wail.. :P

thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lit_writergirl
2007-12-10 11:46 pm UTC (link)
Oh, man. That last part was, I don't even know. Fix it!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:32 am UTC (link)
i know, right? i'm going to work on fixing it soon, but it may take a while... Justin's pretty fucked up and Brian is not the most emotionally open man.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]exmptfromsanity
2007-12-10 11:53 pm UTC (link)
Okay, honestly, you and these drabbles are probably the only thing that is getting me through finals.

And gah! I just can't even imagine how Brian is going to fix this.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:32 am UTC (link)
I'm glad you ARE getting through finals. as for how Brian's going to fix this... when I know, you'll know.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]_alicesprings
2007-12-11 12:00 am UTC (link)
Damn, so good Vampy. SO good.

Justin is just so incredibly stubborn and I wanna smack him and wrap him in a blanky all at the same time. Sigh.

I have no idea how you're going to make this work. I can't wait to find out, I am so hooked omg!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:34 am UTC (link)
yeah, i can't wait ti figure it out either. Justin is fucked up and brian is just scratching the surface of how fucked up justin is.

as for the smacking and wrapping him in a blanky, that seems to be how everyone feels, which is good, it's what i was going for.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]sidhe
2007-12-11 02:06 am UTC (link)
I haven't read any of the other comments, so I may be repeating things others have said. I literally hurt for Justin, because he has absolutely no sense of self-worth or self-preservation. I feel sorry for Brian, too, because - how do you teach that to someone?

Excellent job as always. :)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:35 am UTC (link)
thank you, and yeah, i have no idea how you teach someone the idea of self worth or self preservation, but Brian's going to have to figure it out pretty quickly.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]sexy_pumpkin
2007-12-11 02:44 am UTC (link)
I'd already found the other drabbles last night, so now Im up to date, really good Vamps, what more can I say, I'll be back,,

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:35 am UTC (link)
thanks.

keep reading.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hydrangeaceae
2007-12-11 03:40 am UTC (link)
I'm with everyone else here, totally, completely addicted to this and still in awe that you are writing the whole thing in 100 word increments. Aaaamazing.

(oh, and Justin is so, so far down the well...breaking me.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:37 am UTC (link)
once you get the flow, the hundred word thing is actually not so bad, and the nice thing is i'm always at a good stopping point if i have an errand to run or laundry to do.

so as soon as i finish that, i spell check and post... then i come back to writing when i get back to the computer.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]herefordroad
2007-12-11 04:08 am UTC (link)
this is one of the saddest lines of dialog so far:

“What are the odds I’m going to make it to twenty-one?”

i can only imagine how brian will handle this while i wait for your next post!

jeannie

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:37 am UTC (link)
yeah, probably not brian's favorite thing Justin's ever said.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]singlewoman
2007-12-11 04:15 am UTC (link)
“What are the odds I’m going to make it to twenty-one?”

Kill me now will you! Dammit you made me cry at that. I ache so for Justin that he feels so worthless that it is OK for him to be so abused. I do hope Brian figures out a way to keep him locked up in the loft until he can break through Justin's immense walls.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:38 am UTC (link)
i made you cry! I WIN!

kidding. yeah, he feels worthless. He really doesn't see how damaging him is really a problem, because, you know, he doesn't matter.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]court1429
2007-12-11 04:27 am UTC (link)
Oh. My. God. The. ANGST!!!!!!!!

HOW are you gonna fix this so they fall in love and live happily ever after? So hooked omg.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:39 am UTC (link)
did someone say they were going to fall in love and live happily ever after?

yeah, um... i'll get there... i always do.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]secretsolitaire
2007-12-11 04:52 am UTC (link)
Justin is at a point where I almost don't recognize him. :-( But I have faith that Sunshine will eventually make an appearance...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 04:56 am UTC (link)
He's still Justin. He's just... seriously damaged.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lost2mercy
2007-12-11 03:00 pm UTC (link)
I'm so in love with this drabble!fic. It's the only QaF fic I'm reading at the moment, and I'm totally addicted.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2007-12-11 05:58 pm UTC (link)
Thanks.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(Anonymous)
2008-08-02 08:31 pm UTC (link)
I spent Saturday reading this and bookmarked the last page and then I spent nearly all Sunday trying to find my bookmark (I do have hundreds of bookmarks- bows head in embarrassed sheepish smile). Now I've found this amazing story again I'm pasting it into my store of fantastic QAF fan-fic. It is the most wonderful story - I'm not giving away the ending to say ti's heartbreaking. Thank-you so much for your generosity writing this for all of us. Love from 6frog

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]vamphile
2008-08-02 08:39 pm UTC (link)
so glad you found the link, and enjoyed the story. Thanks for letting me know

(Reply to this) (Parent)



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