complementary net access

Sure, this is one way to top off a fucking perfect week.

Steve

What do you think of all these new arrivals? Especially so soon after a lot of people left...

Natasha

Would you like to get lunch at some point? I would like the chance to get to know you better.

wlakfhafsfaw
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awefiaowfa wht ahw what is this device/

Someone want to tell me how in the hell I ended up here?

I have a fucking brother?

I've done a full perimeter. Twice. Scouted all the floors. Twice. And without a single doubt in my mind, I can say that this is one of the most fucked up goddamn places I have ever been in my entire fucking life. Pardon my language.

Now I have seen some weird ass shit, but the shit roaming around here takes the cake, and I do not have nearly enough ammunition with me to keep control over whatever the hell keeps creeping around these halls. But I did find a fairly sturdy metal pipe in the basement that seems to be doing the trick more often than not. Got a good reach on it, good heft, nice solid structure. But it wouldn't hurt to have someone to cover my ass while I put together something a little more ranged that don't take bullets if you catch my drift.

One thing I can say about this shithole we found ourselves bunkered down in, though, is that the coffee ain't half bad. Kitchen might smell like a fucking morgue, but the coffee is perfectly fine. That helps keep the wheels going.

Um Hello? I'm Luke. Luke Skywalker? I've just arrived.

Where exactly am I?

Also what are these siren things? They started a few minutes after I arrived?

[In her room, which has already started to melt into the Otherworld, and Margaery is obviously panicking, though she's trying very hard not to look like it]

"Please... someone, anyone, tell me what in the name of the bloody gods is happening?!"

I can't say my nightmares have ever been quite this interactive before.

Dean, gone.
Cas, gone.
Eliot, gone.
Q, fucking gone.


Fuck my fucking life.

Uh....hello? Can anyone hear this? Mind explaining to me what the fuck is going on?

Not the vacation I was expecting.

Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Because this Hotel Cairo or whatever was definitely not on my itinerary and I know my itinerary very well because I'm the one who made it.

Now this is more like it. I could get used to this. (But I know not to)

Well this is certainly an unusual place. Do we go explore through the doors or is it best to stay indoors?'

Steve

Either way, would you like to join me?

[private to Sam, Claire]

Ward up your rooms. Do whatever you can. Anyone you care about or made friends with? Show them how, too. The hotel might protect us, might not. I'm not warding my room to find out. We don't know anything about when this Lucifer came from or what kind of shape he's in.


[private to Sam]

I promise no one is leaving you alone with him.


[private to Carmen]

Hey, Sarge? You got a minute? Stay in your room if you're there. I'll meet you.


[private to Cas]

So the real Lucifer is here now. How do you think we should handle this? We ditch him in some other world, it means that world is stuck with him.

Peachy.

Anyone want to guess where the hotel might send us next. Also if anyone felt some tremors the other night I'm sorry.

[ PRIVATE TO HAND ]

I danced with the Devil and I survived, so no need to worry.

[ PRIVATE TO LUCIFER ]

This'll sound silly but thank you for that.

#istillcantwalkstraight
#feathersarebetterthanfur

But I liked that dress.

This is fantastic!

Did all of you get really cool clothes when you were kidnapped by the hotel? It's so nice to have a wardrobe. And a roommate, who is probably my future assistant or, dare I say it, assist-friend?? That remains to be seen. Anyway, I haven't really had a wardrobe since two cases ago, when I was hired to look into the mysterious case of Puffles the horse who had faked-- yes, faked-- his own death.

Anyway, I'm Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective. I don't get caught up in the minor details like finger prints or alibis or forensical bits. Rather, I approach my cases from a holistic perspective based on the universal interconnectedness of all things. Clearly I'm here for a case. Um.

Can anyone tell me what the case is precisely? Did one of you hire me? If so, I'm coming off a real hot streak, so naturally the answer is yes, I'll help you.