darkkarr (darkkarr) wrote in x_2012, @ 2010-11-19 23:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | reaver, wolverine |
He was done. He was out.
Who: Reaver & Wolverine
What: The world calls
When: Friday night
Where: Karr's room, the Haven
Warnings: Language, emotional ferals, sadness
Karr had been trying, though few would honestly believe that. He had wanted in on this secret team Logan had mentioned. He had wanted to prove himself worthy in the eyes of the one person he really, honestly gave a shit about. He had gone through all the training with Warpath and all the team building shit with the X-Men, and what had it gotten him? The occasional "you're ok but have a long way to go" talk from Logan and little more. True his body was in much better shape than it ever had been, but his mind, emotions and pride were all a mess. He was bored. He was frustrated. He wanted the kind of excitement he was not getting at the Haven. He wanted more than what the Brotherhood seemed to be doing. He wanted more than the shit Mutant Town had to offer.
It was likely stupid of him. No one knew more than Karr what dangers mutants faced in the great, wide world. Like it or not, the scent of the burning bodies of his former gang members were forever embedded in his brain... and yet he still longed to return to that life. At least there were fewer rules. At least there was more fun to be had. At least he did not have to answer to anyone there. A violent death was better than a stagnant life, he decided. He would have left long ago, if not for the power of the pack. He really, really did want to make Logan proud, but the man wanted to make Karr into something he simply was not. He had tried. He had bent and given all he could, and Karr was weary of it. What he had told Lorna was the truth: He was done. He was out. He wanted to be away from this place. He wanted to find his own way and make his own life, and he surely could not do that here.
That was what had filled Karr's mind the past few weeks, well, that and a few mind-altering substances. He had been bumming around the city, in and out of Mutant Town, and had realized just how much he had missed life on the streets. He really did long for it, he craved it like he craved his drugs, his sex and his booze. He felt far too at home crawling through a gutter. And so, the decision was made. Karr had few possessions, but he was attached to them. Stomach knotted with the fear that he would run into his old man and jaw set against the idea that said old man might try to make him stay, Karr set to sneaking into the Haven. It was not like he was especially sneaky, the gates recognized him, but he made a point of avoiding the front doors and climbing in the window to the disaster zone that was his room. Swiftly, he snatched up his duffel bag and stuffing it full of what clothes and possessions he wanted to keep. He needed to get packed and get out as quickly as possible. For someone who tried to project himself as such a bad ass guy, Karr really could be cowardly at times.