Honestly. Is nothing private on that ship of yours?

I'm bored...kid keeps kicking my insides.

Can't go out...belly attracts women in droves.

Seriously..the fuck is it with women and pregnant bellies! Do they even ask permission to touch my stomach-No! How do they get the idea that it's somehow public property?

I'm seriously considering taking a course in yoga for pregnant woman. At least it's something to do and I don't have to put up with grabbing.

Man, my head hurts so much.

Why did I have to be pregnant during one of the biggest earthquakes ever? It literally knocked Earth's axis off a bit, and now I feel like I'm nauseous all the time. This is the worst migraine I have ever had.

( Lily Evans or Potter or whatever you've decided your last name is )

Alright, I need a list of people that want to shower my medical officer in beer and loose women.

I also need all of the loose women who might find any of the volunteers remotely attractive to comment.

And if anybody wants to audition for leadership of Starfleet, I need you too. This job is killing my self-respect and social life in one fell swoop.

Any non-loose women, please report to the post above mine for cosmopolitans and talking about how hot both I and the groom to be are. In your underwear, if possible.

Apparently, I need to go out with a few women and, according to Jim Kirk, have cosmopolitans.

His version of a bridal shower.

Any takers?

( Gigi )

( [ETA:Severina] )

( Severus Snape )