Master Luc? Please, I am here.

What do you want to do?

MOUSE.

You are never around! I sit here and ignore you and ignore you and you don't even notice! IT WORKS BOTH WAYS, MOUSE! Cuz I don't even miss your cute furry grey ears anymore! Or that pink button nose! I DON'T!

Fuck it. I'm getting Marlboros. Anyone need a smoke?

TO THOSE WHO MISS YOUR TAILS AND FUR:

You know what's fun? Fuzzy socks. Heating pads. Smelly candles. MASTURBATION. Never could do that as a cat.