InsaneJournal

It's funny, really. Time passes and our perceptions of the past change. We often rewrite our histories, whether to ease our pains or to paint ourselves in a better light or for any of a myriad of reasons. We shape our own pasts and often it is the lies we tell ourselves that define us moreso than our truths. Honesty is such a difficult thing that we are rarely honest, even with ourselves.

And then, in an instant, we can remember. And know the truth about ourselves and the world. And, in that instance, everything changes and the way we see things is irrevocably altered. And we must reexamine ourselves and see if there is a way to fit into our old lives.

niklaus.

I am undone, brother. Our mother has made me into something I have never wanted to be. A monster. And yet, I cannot truly blame her. This was inside me all along, carefully hidden behind a mask I have worn for all too long. She merely made me remove that mask and acknowledge what was underneath.

I am sorry. I should not trouble you with this. I imagine there is quite a lot on your own mind, things being as they are. If there is anything I can do for you, you only need ask.

But there are things I must tell you, when you are ready to hear them.

I am sorry.

I know that I should see you. I want to see you. But I cannot.

There is something wrong with me, a sickness inside me, and I would not subject you to that. I should not even presume, given how things have been between us of late, but I care for you too much to risk it. You deserve better than a broken man

I need your help.