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Hal Yorke was involved tagentially (needstheroutine) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-01-05 22:51:00

Entry tags:

alex millar, hal yorke, john mitchell, katherine pierce, lauren drake, lydia bennet

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I suppose since none of you are ripping my heart out that its real.. That I'm here.

Which means I have some apologies to make.

[Alex]

Alex. I...

Where do I begin but with how very sorry I am for everything I did. It got too much, it got too hard, and once again I didn't ask for help. In hell I saw things, I saw how bad it got at home, the things I did.

I'm sorry.

[Mitchell]

You truly are stronger and braver than I am ever capable of being. Your control I...

You should be proud

[Lydia]

I don't know why you chose to save me but I will always be grateful that you did.

Thank you. You're the best friend a man could have.

[Lauren]

I don't know what to say.

I 'm sorry. For everything. But you should know, in spite of how he...how he used you. You're strong. You have the potential for great things. You just need control, but I am far from the man to teach you.

[Katherine]

I am sorry. I don't know quite how to say it but there it is. I used you, in weakness, I twisted things because it was easier, God, it was cruel. And it wasn't him, not always. I'm sorry.

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	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-06 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	I can be flattered and not act on things, Hal. I have Elijah and there's nothing to act on, regardless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-06 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	I know there isn't. I know that. But given what did occur perhaps it would not be prudent for us to discuss such things (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-06 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	You brought it up. But fair. We'll end those types of talks here and now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-06 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	I did. I know. I just needed you to know that I was sorry that it was you I chose to use. I needed you to know why (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-07 12:12 am UTC (link)
	It's okay. It was easy, convenient. It's what anyone in the desperate position would do. Honestly... I get it. I do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-07 12:22 am UTC (link)
	We'll be alright won't we? You and I? I've destroyed so much of what I hold dear anyway (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-07 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Of course we will, Hal. Or haven't you listened to what I've been saying? It's the equivalent of "let bygones be bygones". (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-07 07:11 am UTC (link)
	I have. I suppose it just takes time to believe statements of that nature (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-08 12:46 am UTC (link)
	Good thing we've got all the time in the world. I suppose that's the other thing. How disappointed are you at my decision, really? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-08 03:21 am UTC (link)
	Or the whims of the seal. At giving in to the request? I can't fault you. I don't remember it very clearly now, it was a long while ago. But I expect I tried every trick in the book (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-08 03:14 pm UTC (link)
	Or that. Well, there's that... Persuasion is an art you- he has rather perfected. But I meant on me giving up my humanity...again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Hal | Katherine

needstheroutine
2014-01-08 05:23 pm UTC (link)

I'm well aware. I'm an Old One. It comes with certain...tendencies.

He was more brutally honest with you than I would have been. In truth I am disappointed. Not in you particularly but that you would so easily cast aside something I have craved for centuries. That you said you'd give it a chance and then didn't.

And I know I didn't help matters, I know I am most likely, in fact, the cause. But its hard.

You had it, you had the chance.

I don't understand why anyone would give that up

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-08 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sure it does. I won't deny you were a bit of a catalyst, but I legitimately believe I was only prolonging the inevitable. I'd never have cut it as a human. Not now, after all this time, all the things I've done. Same reason anyone gives up anything, I guess. Just wanted it more. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-09 08:07 am UTC (link)
	So after 500 years of committing awful deeds you get a chance to be something better, and because you couldn't cope you turned it down. I do care for you Katherine but you have to understand, what you did, it goes against everything I've ever wanted in my life. You had the chance both me and Mitchell would give anything for and you threw it away (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-09 03:00 pm UTC (link)
	Pretty much. The difference between you and me is...I'm not shamed of what I am. I like the power and the strength and everything that comes along with it. And maybe that makes me weak, but I don't care. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-09 03:24 pm UTC (link)
	Want to know the shameful secret? I don't hate the power, the strength. I'm an Old One Katherine, I commanded armies, I was feared, even by the other Old Ones. The strength is in not giving in to that. The strength is remembering how many lives that power destroyed. Its another type of craving I have to endure. So do not assume us so different (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-09 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	And still, we differ, because you regret it. Would you do it all again, if you had the chance to go back? Because I would. Even the betrayals committed to the few scarce people I ever cared about, I'd do it all exactly the same. I try, I really do, I try to be a better person, but in the end, I'm just a selfish survivor. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-10 01:11 pm UTC (link)
	If you want honesty, I believe you did have a chance to try. I think you wanted it at one point, to be a better person. I also think you threw it away. And yes, that will always bother me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-10 01:51 pm UTC (link)
	I'm weak-willed for always choosing survival above everything else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine needstheroutine 2014-01-10 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	You know, you do what I do. I suppose looking at it from the outside in is very different. You say you're weak willed and that it excuses your actions. So do I. Perhaps I don't get a say in the fact he takes over but I could fight longer, do more. And you could have kept trying. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Hal \| Katherine believesownlies 2014-01-10 06:39 pm UTC (link)
	We're a lot alike in that way, I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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