InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "it's corn and corn alone day!"

Caroline Forbes (agelessbeauty) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2014-09-07 08:04:00

Entry tags:

caroline forbes, kol mikaelson

Who: Caroline and Kol
What: a needed conversation
When: today!
Where: out and about in Lawrence
Warnings:I doubt it!

After coming back from Sunnydale Caroline had allowed herself a few days of staying close to Klaus, of trying to forget the outside world for a bit and focusing on her and him and on the new apparent robot dinosaur obsession of the tiniest Mikaelson. But once Saturday hit she sped full throttle forward into her usual coping strategies. Moping about what happened wouldn’t help any, it wasn’t her style to do so either, and so she pushed to plan something festive, something that could let everyone come together and have some fun.

Planning had always helped her clear her head, helped her focus her attention as well and she had a feeling that a hundred years from now she’d still be using it as her go-to for everything ever. Being idle wasn’t in her vocabulary even when she was relaxing she was usually plotting out something in her head. Unless she was distracted and there were only a few people who could thoroughly distract her like that.

She was out ordering different items she wanted for the party when she spotted Kol. They’d gone from him being openly antagonistic to her to him calling her family and the two of them confiding in one another to she wasn’t even sure what they were now. It simply wasn’t the same as it had been though, she did know that. Not that she wasn’t allowed to have relationships with the others simply because Klaus had decided to cut off all ties but it was hard to know exactly where she stood in the middle of all of that. Especially after reading conversations she wished she’d never seen.

But hiding away wasn’t something she was about to do and she thought she and Kol were slowly working through all that had happened even if she still felt like some kind of wall had been put up between them and wasn’t yet fully broken down.

“If it isn’t my second favorite Mikaelson brother.”

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itchtokill
2014-09-08 02:36 pm UTC (link)

He nodded, she was right, he knew she was right, but at the time it hadn't felt that way. It had felt like it was his fault, it had felt like failure, it had felt like a point of no return, betrayal, giving up when all he had been doing was trying to fix things. It had felt...like a million things, but not that. But he knew differently now. "Yeah... I mean... he didn't just walk away from the drama, he walked away from us and he was so pressed about us not even talking to him, at all, and..." Kol shrugged a little. "it doesn't matter what I thought, I know it's not true."

"There you go again," he muttered softly, chuckling a little under his breath. "Making points that should be obvious...but somehow never seem to be until you point it out." She really did have a habit of doing that to him a lot.

He finished off what was left of his drink, taking a second to go throw it away, to give a break in the conversation and a reason to lead up to a conversation switch. Because he really didn't want to talk about their family issues right now. "But enough about me," Kol said, his tone almost teasingly chiding. "how are you? Considering." Considering she'd died, multiple times in another world where she was forced to be human again. Considering he knew how much she looked to planning things when she was stressed.

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agelessbeauty
2014-09-08 11:04 pm UTC (link)

How was she? That was a question that she really didn’t want to answer. She’d done her wallowing, done her crying bit and even gone through some of the anger part at what the Seal had done. It had made her vulnerable all over again and she’d died more times than she’d wanted, unable to do a thing any of the times. Caroline hated being that weak, never wanted to feel that way again, but letting all of that fester inside of her wasn’t the answer either. She’d rather spin what had happened on its head and make it into a positive.

“I’m dealing with it. I don’t want to just be fine. I hate the state of fine. But I’m not about to wallow in what happened either. I can’t change the fact that I died.” Three freaking times. “I can’t change the fact that you guys had to watch it all happen.” Which really angered her more than anything. Why couldn’t the Seal have spared the ones who’d been left behind from that kind of mental torture?

“That’s not what’s really annoying me lately anyway. Or maybe its because of what happened that I’m more annoyed at little things than usual. Not that they’re even little. Or maybe they are little but I’m not seeing them that way because I’m annoyed?” Catch-22 probably.

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itchtokill
2014-09-08 11:17 pm UTC (link)

I'm dealing with it. What did that ever even really mean, though? Kol had dealt with a lot of things, but had he ever really dealt with them? He wasn't sure. It was a confusing sense of handling things and it never felt complete, not really. "What's wrong with fine?" he asked curiously, not quite sure what she was distinguishing it from. He thought fine was, well, fine. Was was bad about fine? "I don't blame you for not wallowing," he admitted. He never did either, really. And she was right. She couldn't change any of it, so dwelling on it wouldn't get her anywhere, any more than it would get any of them anywhere.

"It's not?" he arched an eyebrow at her. "Then what is it that's got you in a twist lately?" Kol actually would have assumed that's what any issue she had right now might have been tied to.

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agelessbeauty
2014-09-08 11:32 pm UTC (link)

“Fine is a horrible state of being. No one really wants to be fine. You’re not happy. You’d not sad. You’re just like there. It’s like a going through the motions state-of-being. And even then its not that. It’s the catch-all phrase people use when they’re anything but okay but they don’t want people to worry about them, but you kind of really need to be worrying about them.” At least that’s how it seemed to her. She felt that was how her circle of friends had always used the word. It was a brush off tactic--a don’t worry about me one.

“And.” Oh. How did she even begin to explain what was steadily beginning to increasingly annoy her the more she saw it? And explain it to Kol? That was the hard part. Maybe it was a silly thing to get annoyed about though. Maybe she needed to get talked down off the ledge about it because Caroline really couldn’t see it ending anytime soon and the irriation would only worsen.

“I dunno if I’m just picking up on it more or what but its really becoming aggravating how people keep on bringing up how your brother is apparently the worst person ever to exist. And like I get not liking him. I get hating him even for personal reasons that have to do with him being him and doing awful stuff to others. Like we should never have to be okay with the people who killed us or killed people we love.” Even if holding onto that hate really wasn’t helpful either. “But like...call him out on actual stuff. Because aside from family drama he’s actually been helpful to Lawrence at large. And its just annoying me. People went after that one guy for being mad at Loki, who hasn’t done any of the stuff yet that they’re mad at him about, but Davina is completely justified in her hatred for stuff Klaus hasn’t done yet. Like I don’t see the difference. I see why Davina and the other guy should get their hate but I...just don’t see the rest of it.”

The whole double standards thing was seriously real and annoying as hell.

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itchtokill
2014-09-08 11:56 pm UTC (link)

"Oh." Well, when she put it like that...he could see where it wasn't such a great state to be in. "Well, I guess that makes sense." Thinking of it, really, that's how he used the term as well, a simple brush over that meant he didn't want to deal with it.

The hesitation as she thought through how to explain it left room for Kol to shift, sitting further back in the chair instead of leaning forward on the table, more settled now. He was curious about whatever it was that was bothering her so much, though. He'd legitimately thought if anything it would have been everything that had happened in Sunnydale.

And it all boiled down to double standards, which Kol could admit were viscuously rampant in Lawrence. People pulled them out every chance they got, hell, he was probably guilty of it himself. But this. It was about Nik, and of course it would get to her like this. It was actually sort of ridiculous, the amount of hate spewed at his brother. Kol had his reasons for treating him the way he did. Not that it made it any better, really, but he did at least have reasons. Reasons he was slowly beginning to try and let go of more than he had in the past. It was a work in progress and he wasn't sure how long it would take, but he was working on it.

The way people went after him in the fashion she was talking about though, maybe he was filtered out of a lot of it, maybe he just wasn't paying as much attention to a lot of the other dramas going on. But he hadn't thought much about it really. Double standards were annoying as hell, but they were freaking everywhere and he usually just ignored it, lived his life and people be damned for whatever they thought of it. "Who's calling him out for bullshit stuff?" he couldn't help the question spilling out, almost immediately as she spoke. "I haven't paid much mind to the little witch's dramas, personally, I don't even know what she's on about, if I'm honest." He kept close to his inner circle these days, it was too much trouble to venture outside of it most of the time anymore.

"But basically, Loki's been here longer, that's really the only difference, isn't it? People rush to bat for him because he's done whatever he's done for the city through the years he's been here?" Kol honestly had no idea. Thinking on it like this, though, everything Nik had been saying was being put in even more of a perspective as well.

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agelessbeauty
2014-09-09 12:54 am UTC (link)

“I don’t know. It’s all become kind of a blur for me. I just see side comments or jokes or stuff and I react which is so bad and I need to stop doing it but its like really hard not to react to it.” She just hated that the good things that Klaus was actually doing in the community weren’t talked about too. Was she the only one seeing any kind of change in him? Because she had and maybe it wasn’t exactly to the degree some people wanted but she noticed all of it. And while she didn’t exactly want Klaus to change, she’d fallen in love with who he was, she didn’t exactly mind the whole art center thing. Or the hunts. Or the taking care of his little brother part.

But she’d seen flickers of good in the Hybrid for a long time so maybe it wasn’t too surprising that she noticed them more than others did. It didn’t blot out all of the horrible things he’d done or the way he still treated some people but even that wasn’t universal. Caroline thought he was an idiot in regard to that for a number of reasons, but she couldn’t discount that he seemed to treat little Bo or Jesse or even big Bo and some select others with respect and talked to them just fine.

It all just made her head hurt. “Maybe it has to do with time. I don’t know.” She probably would never really comprehend why things went the way they did with the double standards. “I’m just tired of it and I know it’ll always be a thing but you know he watched me die three times and he didn’t do what he’d done that first time, last year when I did. He kind of ruined a few rooms but...that’s growth.”

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itchtokill
2014-09-10 12:06 am UTC (link)

Kol knew where she was coming from, about needing not to react so much when things were said, it was a problem for him as well, always had been really. But he also knew how hard it was to keep something so natural at bay. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I've always been really...reactive. It's really hard not to be, especially when it's things being said about people you care about." He was pretty explosive when it came to his family. Or Crowley and Anna.

"Maybe we should bring it up. Try to point out the good things he's done without being too obvious?" The idea was hardly flawless, but it was the best Kol had at this point. He was only barely beginning to really try to let go of his own preconceived conceptions of Nik based on past actions, so he couldn't completely hold it against anyone else doing the same thing. Even if it was stupid. Especially the ones that didn't have reasons to have anything against him. Those would be the comments that bothered him the most. and he felt it was the same (...)

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itchtokill
2014-09-10 12:36 am UTC (link)

for Caroline as well.

Much as he hated admitting it, he knew that time did actor into so many things. And this, it was probably one of them. Loki had been here for years, so naturally they were quicker to flock to his defense, right? "Maybe it's the fact that Nik doesn't regret anything he's done. or what he will do, because he accepts anything that he ever has done or ever will do is exactly what he needed to do at the time to get what he wanted."

"No, you're right," she had a point. He was even more helpless in this situation than he had been during the explosion at the complex and Nik had kept himself contained, hadn't outwardly lash out at anyone in Lawrence for Caroline's televised deaths. "he managed it. He dealt with it. He waited it out." But would other people see it that way? He wasn't sure there was anything they could do about that.

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