Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming, @ 2012-11-14 23:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | helena g. wells, steve jinks |
Who: Steve and Helena
What: Steve needs some interaction (and he's currently the only non-hormonal, non-broken member of House Warehouse, oops?) and Helena needs to talk to someone lest she cause another explosion somewhere.
When: around 10 pm so slight backdating
Where: House Warehouse
Warnings: TBA because god only knows
Adjust. That was the over-arching theme of Helena's life. She was fairly certain she hadn't actually lived her own life since Christina had died. For the past one hundred and twenty years, her life had been a series of meeting something that upended her life somehow and she had to adjust and find a new way to continue on. Of course, for the better part of it she was on the path to destruction. When Helena Wells was in pain, she unleashed it on the world. And when Helena did anything, she typically did it big or not at all. For so long her emotions had ruled her, be they for better or for worse, though it had mostly been for worse. But then she'd made the ultimate sacrifice, only instead of ending up in the burning depths of Hell, she'd ended up here. It had been a complete shock, and for that first couple months, it was a series of trying to find herself within her own body again, and to realize she had a life here. She'd begun a relationship with Irene Adler, which helped in solidifying the whole bit about her being both alive and not being a hologram.
And then Myka had shown up. And not long after that was when the downhill slide had begun. Pestilence aggravating the effects of the Janus Coin. For two weeks, her mind had been torn apart by the two warring personalities fighting for control of her body. Then Emily Lake had been put into the body of a young baby. It had taken a while for Helena to actually stop being afraid of the girl, but she'd gotten there. Then there'd been the whole thing with Moriarty tormenting her for months on end. She'd even gone off radar so he couldn't find her, but living in hiding had taken its toll on her. Which all came to a head when Gaia had tricked Myka into thinking she was Helena and needed help. Seeing the bomb strapped to Myka had made the Victorian woman snap, and she had for a brief time given into the darker side of herself because the one she loved was in very real danger and like Hell was she going to let her die. But then after Bruce had saved Myka, Myka saw the sniper and pushed Helena out of the way just in time. The bullet lodged itself in her shoulder instead of a vital spot. Then she'd faced Christina's death in Paris, though it hadn't been her world. After so very long, Helena finally allowed herself to grieve her daughter's loss. And then she'd been visited by her daughter's ghost for two weeks. Progress was finally being made. Helena had felt she was finally getting somewhere, and she was finally on the right path.
Then the Seal sent Myka back, a loss that plunged the Victorian woman into a depression. And then that was multiplied by the Seal sending Pete home. Then the Seal brought Myka back, but without her memories of this place, and from the artifact-altered future. That had all but crushed Helena because now the person who knew her better than anyone else had very little idea of what she'd even been put through in this world. She tried her best to keep her emotions tucked away inside her when she was around Myka. The younger woman was pregnant and she knew the things she had to tell her would send her into premature labor, which she didn't want to do. So she kept secrets, and she knew she shouldn't, but what other choice did she have? She would tell Myka in bits and pieces, leaving the worst things for much later on, but more than that, she couldn't say anything. And then, finally, the Seal had taken Claudia, and that was the straw that had broken her back, so to speak.
Obviously, she should have listened to Svetlana and just talked to someone, but Helena never handled change well. And considering all of this Seal tug of war had happened in the span of a week and a half, Helena couldn't take any of it. She had tried so hard to stay focused in Bruce's lab that day, but her mind had inevitably wandered, and now her left forearm was proof she needed to not always close herself off in these measures. Having a multitude of friends did help, but that only went so far. Steve and Myka were the only ones from her world that would actually understand her when she talked about her world. But she couldn't talk to Myka, which was something that just killed Helena right now more than anything.
After putting Emily to bed, Helena went down to the kitchen to make some tea. After setting her tea seat on the counter and waited for the water to boil, Helena leaned against the counter, looking down at the bandage on her left forearm, a mark of her own stupidity. Once the tea was ready, she put the pot on the tray and carried it into her library. She was about to pour herself a cup when it registered that she'd seen Steve in the parlor. Picking up the tray, she carried it across the hall and entered the room.
"I made some tea and thought you might like some," she said, setting the tray down on the table. At least around Steve, she didn't have to keep all of her emotions locked inside her. She didn't have to keep secrets from him. Well, she couldn't keep secrets from him even if she tried, but that wasn't the point. The point was that the true depth of her depression was more than evident in her eyes and in the way her shoulders weren't quite as square as she usually held them.