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Tweak says, "you. wish."

Helena Wells has "disappeared" with the Astrolabe (ismellapples) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2012-03-13 23:02:00

Entry tags:

helena g. wells, myka bering

Who: Myka and Helena
What: Talking and trying to help Myka understand things. With a side of "You're alive?"
When: Earlier this evening
Where: Myka's room
Warning: Serious angst. No really. The angst will KILL YOU. Just not as much as the Russian angst will kill you. BUT IT'S CLOSE. Anything else is TBA because my god the possibilities. Oh and do mind the subtext, it can trip you if you're not paying attention.

When she'd seen Myka's post the night before, Helena had a complex reaction. On one end, she was happy to see Myka, the one person who could actually keep her grounded and get through to her when no one else could. On the other, she was a little scared because of the developing relationship she had with Irene. Of course things would soon get horrendously complicated, but she would try and keep the complexities for a later time. Right now, she truly just wanted to see Myka again and let the agent know that she actually was alive. She would also do her best to help Myka settle in and get her head around everything in this world. But she knew that before they could work on that, Myka needed to get her head around Helena being alive and everything that happened with the Warehouse.

So after deciding that Myka had had enough of a chance to settle into her room, she decided to pay her a visit. Finishing off her cup of tea, she went and retrieved a Farnsworth from the small stack of them she had in her room. She had a feeling Myka would both need and want it. Once there, she would inquire about a Tesla, but from what she remembered, Myka had hers at the end. So that would come later if needed. Thankfully Claudia had told her what room Myka had taken earlier that day, so Helena stepped into the hallway, looking over at Myka's door. She couldn't help but feel some anxiety. There was no telling what state she would find Myka in, but it most likely wouldn't be a good one. Closing her door, she crossed over to Myka's door, holding the Farnsworth in one hand. Brushing a hand through her hair, she drew in a deep breath. At least she wouldn't have to tell Myka what happened to the Warehouse, like she had with Claudia. That was a conversation she'd rather not repeat. No, this conversation, at least part of it, would deal with the repercussions of that.

Lifting a hand, she knocked and waited, looking down at the Farnsworth as though it would instantly make everything better. It wouldn't, but at least in being near Myka again, things would feel better. Perhaps she could finally feel more at ease in this place. She'd made friends here, but she still felt out of place, like she didn't belong. As long as Myka didn't answer the door with a drawn gun, perhaps Myka would be what would finally allow her to find a place for herself in this world. And she hoped, in return, she could help give Myka some peace with things that had happened. They always had been able to balance the other, and it worked when Helena wasn't losing her mind and trying to destroy all of humanity. So she just needed to maintain faith in the connection they had to each other and hope that it would be enough to keep them both on the level.

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ismellapples
2012-03-15 05:09 am UTC (link)

It was a little startling that Myka suddenly had the curly hair back. It was interesting, actually. As much as she'd liked the straight hair on Myka, Helena did prefer the curls. The curls seemed to better suit Myka's personality than the straight hair. Though she could understand the trying to change and start over after Helena had betrayed her. And she did still feel terrible for that, but she couldn't do anything about it anymore. All she could do was move forward and try to make her life better. Though thinking that and actually accomplishing that were two completely different things.

Just as Myka could see how she was barely holding herself together, Helena could see how lost Myka was. It was to be expected upon showing up in a new world with a war they had no idea how to fight. But it was also to be expected after what Myka had just experienced in their world. Or rather what they both had experienced as they came from the same point in time. Thankfully. She couldn't do that talk again. It hurt bad enough telling Claudia, and she'd rather not relieve her death if she didn't have to, thank you.

"Yes, thank you." Even though she'd just had tea, coffee wouldn't be a bad thing. Helena did doubt she'd sleep tonight anyway. She had napped earlier in the day.

"And no doubt you would've answered your door with your gun pointed at me." Helena chirped back, a little smirk curving one corner of her mouth. They did have a knack for meeting at gunpoint. It usually was Helena getting the gun pointed at her, save for the time at Yellowstone. And so their dance began again, trying to find that common ground between them. At least with Myka here, Helena could try to ground herself more firmly. Claudia hadn't been enough, and Irene wasn't either. Neither of them knew her the way Myka did.

And then she suddenly remembered the Farnsworth. "Oh, here. This is for you." She held the Farnsworth out to Myka.

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ilikepuzzles
2012-03-16 12:01 am UTC (link)

Myka would be lying if she said she wasn't still hurt by the betrayal Helena had done the year previous. Warehouse 2, the Trident..... How she had known Helena wouldn't go through with it if Myka forced her to shoot her, she didn't know. Or she hadn't cared. After all, they all would have died anyway and Myka was a fighter. She wasn't going to just go down without a fight. If Helena wanted to kill her, she damn well was going to have to do it to Myka's face. To look her in the eyes. And that had been what had saved them all. Saved the world and no one knew but those at the Warehouse. So yes, it hurt. But even as that betrayal hurt, she would never deny the connection they had. Even as she had tried to in starting over. In leaving her happiness to keep from making that same mistake again.

But this? This was a crazy that even the Secret Service agent wasn't used to. Because there were no artifacts to blame. The bad guys weren't human at times. Even just being here for a day and reading back, Myka knew that she was out of her league with this. There was nothing she could take control of and that was terrifying to the woman who always had to be in control. Every step planned with back up plans for her back up plans, color coded to make them easier to remember.

Nodding as Helena agreed to coffee, Myka moved to the kitchen and poured her a cup. Oh, she knew that Helena preferred tea, but she already had coffee on the stove so it was just easier to go that route. That and she didn't have many teas at her disposal.

The comment on answering the door with a gun caused Myka to smirk more.

"Of course. We do happen to meet at gunpoint fairly often." Handing Helena the mug, Myka was about to try to find something to say even when she didn't know what to say as they both knew about the Warehouse so they didn't have to discuss that when the other Warehouse agent brought up the Farnsworth.

"Oh. Thanks, this could be useful..."

Taking the Farnsworth, Myka handled it briefly. She had lost hers back home and was just thankful she still had her Tesla. Oh cell phones were fine, but she'd grown used to the Farnsworth and it felt good to hold it again. Grounding in a way.

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ismellapples
2012-03-16 10:43 am UTC (link)

In her extremely prolonged life, Helena had left many people behind her either dead or hurt, but there was none she regretted more than what she'd put Myka through. It still hurt to know that she'd let herself fall so far from who she'd once been that she'd been more than willing to destroy the whole of humanity just to put an end to her own pain. Christina's death had set into motion a deep spiral, and Helena would be lying if she didn't acknowledge that part of herself died on the fourteenth of July in 1891. She would never be the same, but oh she was trying. It had been Myka that made her realize just how bad she'd gotten. That moment when she'd looked into Myka's eyes, holding the gun to her head, she saw everything she'd become, how twisted her pain had made her. And she couldn't kill Myka. There was a phrase that one hurt the ones they love, and that seemed to be true here. But Helena was trying to make things right, that's what she'd done in helping them when she'd been nothing more than a hologram. Helena had readily been willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good, having learned from her mistake with the Trident.

Helena was still gasping for air in this place, but oh she was trying. She was trying to keep herself afloat, knowing that if she let this place disorient her enough, she would be consumed by pain once again and she would drown, taking the world along with her. There were no artifacts in this place, but no doubt if she lost her mind, she'd find some way to unleash the fury of her heart and soul upon the world. And she refused to get to that point again. With Myka here, she had far more than a fighting chance to keep that from happening. Myka had a calming effect on her even when they weren't speaking to each other. It was comforting enough to just be around Myka. Even in the few moments she'd been standing in Myka's presence, she all ready felt calmer, as though she were returning home.

"Yes, we do. Though I am grateful we managed to break the trend this time. Now we're simply meeting over coffee." Helena's own smirk widened, a little glimmer appearing in her eyes as she took the offered mug and took a sip of it.

Watching as Myka held the Farnsworth, she could tell it helped as she figured it would. It was something they were used to from their world. Something they could use to link themselves to the Warehouse when it wasn't here. The Farnsworth and Tesla Helena had made for herself had the same effect. And while she was in the process of building Farnsworths for everyone in the event of an emergency, she was mostly building them because it was familiar, and she could easier focus on a Farnsworth than on any of the other hundreds of ideas running through her head.

"You're welcome. I would assume you still have your Tesla?" While she was fairly certain Myka did have her Tesla, there was a slightly hopeful note to her question. Building a Tesla fell under the same category as building the Farnsworth. Yes, Helena was currently grasping at anything she could use to stabilize herself. While she was disoriented once again at having to adjust to a world that was not hers, the larger part of her problem was just being alive to begin with. Every moment she spent in this world was another reminder that she had been denied an afterlife, denied peace, but she couldn't really hold that against anyone when it gave her this chance to see Myka again.

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ilikepuzzles
2012-03-16 05:40 pm UTC (link)

The automatic reaction one might have in this situation was strange. Strange how a single person could have such a calming effect on another. Strange that a connection was shared that neither woman could explain and that they just went with. But for Myka, while yes it was strange, it was also normal. It was the most normal thing she had in this place, truthfully. She had Claudia and she had this connection with Helena, where she felt that maybe they could survive this crazy after all. Even without Artie or Pete. Without Mrs. Fredric appearing out of nowhere when it was least expected to say something and then go about her way.

"We broke the trend for now. I highly doubt it will be broken forever. It's familiar."

Shrugging in slight amusement, Myka sipped her coffee as Helena asked about the Tesla, noting the hopeful tone in her voice. That was... peculiar. But Helena did enjoy building things so it made sense at least. So while Myka could always say that she didn't have it, that would be a lie and Myka was tired of lying. Because it was always about Helena and before her, Sam. And what that had done to her, her career.... she couldn't do that. She valued honesty and then lied. No. She wasn't going that way.

"I have mine, yes."

Standing in silence for a moment, Myka placed her free hand into her pocket and felt the familiar sensation of a necklace. Not just any necklace though. Helena's necklace. The one of Christina. Looking down, Myka took a breath. She didn't want to upset the other woman. They were both so lost here. She could tell by her eyes, the hope in her voice at the chance of building something else from home. But maybe it would help Helena. After all, when she had stolen from Warehouse 13, all she had wanted was a compact and this necklace.

Withdrawing her hand from her pocket, Myka just held it out to Helena, the necklace lying in her palm, waiting to be returned to it's rightful owner. No words were needed in this. She was simply returning to Helena what was always hers to begin with. It would be wrong to hold onto it longer than necessary.

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ismellapples
2012-03-17 06:53 am UTC (link)

Helena really wanted to know why her life had turned out this way. Well okay, she knew why, but why did the powers that be decide to dump it all on her? She really wasn't as strong as she pretended to be, and she could only adjust to new surroundings so many times before it got to be too much and consumed her whole. There had been days in this place that she just wanted to sit in a corner and laugh maniacally at the situation. She should be dead. She was dead. But she was alive. It was suffocating to be alive, now more than ever. But with Myka here, she could cling to their connection knowing that it did have the power to pull her out of herself. It was some semblance of normalcy, something that meant everything to her because it was all she had. In her entire life, Helena had never felt anything even remotely similar with anyone else. What she had with Myka defied explanation yet she knew exactly what it was at the same time. In the end, that was what had saved her, and now it was possibly the only thing that could save them both in this strange world.

"I could just go back into the hall, knock again and you can answer with your gun drawn." Helena suggested with a soft chuckle.

She would try her hardest not to be in a situation like that again, she wanted Myka to trust her and not think she was about to end the world again. And when Myka said she had her Tesla, Helena nodded, merely taking a drink of her coffee. She had figured as much so it wasn't disheartening to hear. That just meant she'd make an extra Farnsworth before she let herself sleep again. Seriously, if she found herself suddenly thrown into yet another reality, she would officially let herself go insane because that would be far simpler. This mad inventor state she'd been in the last two weeks seemed to only worsen. She was covering the physical effects of a skewed and spotty sleep schedule with perfect application of make-up. It was enough to cover the dark circles and pale complexion, but not more than she usually wore so it didn't attract attention.

When Myka first held her hand out to her, Helena was confused. Until she saw what lay in Myka's hand. Helena's mouth fell open a bit and for a few moments, she could only stare at it. Oh it stirred up so many emotions, and it did upset her, but she needed it. Wordlessly, Helena reached out and took it with her free hand, clasping it in her fist, then pressing her fist against her mouth, closing her eyes for some moments as her thoughts drifted back to Christina, her happiest place lost long ago. When she opened her eyes, there were unshed tears within them. Setting her coffee down, she promptly put the necklace on, then she opened the locket and gazed at the picture within it. It was her one connection to the life she'd lost, to her precious daughter that now only lived within her memory. And in the moments where she gazed at Christina, she felt the most grounded since finding herself here. Finally, she closed the locket and slid it inside her shirt, against her heart where it always had been before. She looked back at Myka, a thankful smile on her lips.

"Thank you. I didn't think I would see it again," she said softly, her voice quivering with the emotion the locket caused her. She kept one hand pressed against her chest, feeling the locket beneath, drawing strength from it even though it also stirred up the pain that rested within her soul.

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ilikepuzzles
2012-03-17 11:40 am UTC (link)

"You could, but then it would be staged and that would ruin the entire point of our meeting in such a way."

It was nice to be able to joke about things like that. With everything else going on, with what had happened back home and then being shoved into a world without the artifacts to blame, something familiar was definitely good. So what if it was light teasing with Helena? It was familiar and that was all that mattered. Just something to keep her grounded so that she didn't feel like she was going to falter and fall because of everything that had been shoved her way in far too short an amount of time.

As Helena took the locket, Myka remained silent, sipping her coffee and looking down. It was a private moment for the other woman and the twenty nine year old wasn't about to intrude on that. As such she let her own mind wander. Wondering just what was happening back home. What would Pete and Artie tell her parents? Well no. She had read that time seemed to stop until she was sent back so she didn't have to worry. Though she didn't like the implication because of what had happened to Sam. But she would think on that later. At least that case was finally closed.

At the words of thanks, Myka looked up and offered a small smile.

"Of course, it deserved to be with you."

And now there was silence again and Myka didn't know how to fill it because she was still coming to terms with everything that was going on around them. How was she supposed to figure this out when she felt so incredibly lost? She could read all she wanted to learn but that didn't mean anything in a place like this.

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ismellapples
2012-03-17 10:13 pm UTC (link)

"Well, we shall see if there will some day be a need for us to meet in that way again. I confess I do miss you glaring down the barrel of a gun at me." She smirked a bit at that.

After a moment, Helena slipped her hand back inside her shirt, her fingers wrapping around the locket. She couldn't help it, it was her reflex when she needed strength and reassuring. But it felt good, it felt right to have it again. The amulet she'd received to protect her from possession wasn't around her neck currently, though she did always remember to put it on if she were to leave the complex. Nodding in response to Myka, she used her free hand to brush at her eyes to keep the tears from falling. She used the silence that then fell to compose herself, not wanting to cry here and now.

Her mind drifted to other what she could possibly say. No doubt Myka had all ready done her homework on what was to be expected here, so she wouldn't need the explanations. She only had experience with the people from the future showing up anyway, so it's not like she could recount any first-hand experiences. Myka was probably still in the shock state, trying to make sense out of it all for herself. Though she then thought of something.

"I'm not certain if Claudia told you or not, but she and I are working in the security of the complex. So if you need to find one of us and we aren't in our flats, we're most likely in the security room." Or Helena would be with Irene, but she wasn't about to reveal that particular detail. "Oh and my flat is just down the hall, 301, if you ever need anything." Though Myka might get eaten alive by the chaos that lived in that room. Helena really should clean, or at least put order to it, but it wouldn't do much good until her mental state got better. Hopefully now with both Myka and her necklace, she could find that ground she needed to stand on.

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