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inmyownworld ([info]inmyownworld) wrote in [info]vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-09-21 02:01:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current music:Scars on Broadway- "Funny"
Entry tags:!active, day 24, l lawliet, location: pharmacy, merope gaunt

Funny, How You Turned Red, When I First Said, "Let's Join the Dead"
Who: L Lawliet and Merope
What: Merope agrees to help L. She doesn't deliver in quite the way he expected, though.
Where: The liquor store (ie, the place that he haunts and refuses to leave.)
When: Day 24, 8:00 PM
Rating: PG-13 for now for necrophilic implications.
Status: Active



L's hands shook as he set down his journal. He felt sick, in so many ways. Sick in the head, as Rose had implied, sick physically, sick in his soul. He was anything but quick to trust, and the moment he seemed to find someone he could confide in, trust his well-being and attempt a shy sliver of humanity with, they were taken away before he could attain any sort of closure. He clenched and unclenched his pale, thin hands, testing their strength. It was failing, his grip was becoming looser as his mental health declined. He was far from mad, but he saw the world in a skewed way that worsened with every day that passed in Vas Captio.

Merope was still his friend, at least. She had offered to give him what he wanted and needed, obtaining a body for him and bringing it to him. How the weak-limbed young woman would manage to haul the dead weight of a female corpse to him, he couldn't guess. Perhaps she planned to enlist the help of her stoic partner, Rorschach, even though he disapproved of L's preferences. He sighed, staring at the wax he'd found in the post office that was softening in the heat. He planned to use it to repair any spots where decomposition was too obvious. While L had had sex with Laura, he wasn't sure yet if he could go through with it with an inanimate corpse, whether it looked like her or not.


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[info]heartache
2009-09-21 07:43 am UTC (link)
Whenever she was sure that the make-up was finished, she opened her eyes and looked straight back at him. She resembled Laura in a way, but she was no where near as beautiful or as curvy, but she was passable. The make-up had done wonders for someone so unattractive and plain.

The coldness of her hands had them slightly stiff, but she didn't stretch them out. Her limbs were loose for him, delicate and gentle. Being that she could barely feel her fingers, she kept her eyes very settled and without judgement.

He drew them to his face and then beneath his shirt, against his chest. Merope forced herself not to react on her face even though she'd turned a bit pink on her flesh from it.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-21 04:49 pm UTC (link)
Merope did resemble Laura. Despite her youth and sweetness, and the affection she showed him that Laura never quite had, the likeness was striking and adequate for L's purposes. He'd thought aboug it briefly, and knew beyond a doubt that said purposes could not include having sex with Merope. The only thing sicker than using a dead body the way he'd intended was to use a living body ready and willing to fake death for him.

The stiffness of Merope's hands aided the illusion; as he held them against his chest, achingly remembering the way Laura had touched him, but he noticed Merope's blush. He swallowed, retracting his hands, feeling like a monster for allowing her to do this.

"One thing," he said softly, turning his back toward her and wrapping her arms around him from behind as he lay down. "Please, stay just like this until I am asleep."

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 05:37 am UTC (link)
Merope tried not to do much moving or reacting so he didn't think he was doing something humiliating or sinful to her. As he moved himself so his taller form was against her front, she laid down with him and listened in quietly. Once they were on the ground, her freezing hands lightly rubbed his stomach for a moment before she to had curled up behind him.

If anything, she would never turn away affection of any sort.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 06:17 am UTC (link)
L sighed deeply, feeling Laura... no, feeling Merope's... hands, cool and soft against his stomach. That part of him was sunken in further than usual, and softer. He was young, so his skin didn't sag, but his bones were more prominent, and his his muscle tone was fading. He closed his eyes, listening to his heartbeat, which was irregular, alternating between a tense, fearful, pattering rhythm and a sluggish, dull one. He was not healthy, he was not doing well. His mind was in turmoil and his body was starting to fail him in small but noticeable ways. He curled in Merope's arms, feeling steadier just by having another body nearby. It would be gone when he woke up, he was sure, which made him want to delay sleep for just a bit longer.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 06:45 am UTC (link)
Merope shifted very slightly, she knew how bad he must have felt. Noticing the water bottle, she had an idea and called it over magically until it was near her mouth. Making sure he wasn't paying attention, she put her mouth on top of it until she was sure that her mouth was positively freezing.

He wanted more. He likely needed more.

When she was sure it was fine, she leaned up slightly and pressed her mouth against his. Rorschach had never minded them kissing in this way, so she did not find fault in it. Her lips were as icey as possible, before she could pull away,"....won't leave you." she whispered.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 06:59 am UTC (link)
L was so lost in his own thoughts, in his own careful self delusion, that he didn't notice Merope using the frozen water bottle to make her mouth icy. He was receptive to her kiss, sighing softly against her lips, definitely wanting more, but then he flinched and drew back as if it caused her pain. This was going too far, he realized, and one of them had to be the adult and keep the situation from progressing to the point where things happened that they would later regret. He fought with himself, understanding that his body's wants were at odds with his heart's and his mind's.

"Please... Merope, you don't have to do that..." he said hurriedly, in a rushed voice, a flush creeping into his pale cheeks. "You shouldn't do that... you're acting like a saint, you are, but this... it's not right." he took a deep breath, trying to keep it from shuddering and catching too much. It was painful to be responsible when he wanted to simply let go and simply opt for instant gratification.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 07:14 am UTC (link)
For once, she wouldn't mind if she laid with him and stole his body heat. The coldness of the floor and the water bottle hadn't warmed her hands, so they were still freezing. No complaining on her part, so she stopped angering him and laid down.

Merope was close to shivering but she refused to allow herself. Her lithe frame cuddled as close as she could to L without judgements or responses.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 07:24 am UTC (link)
Over the course of his life, L hadn't had many father figures or male role models. His real father was someone he had never known. His mother's boyfriends had imparted little wisdom, but what L could recall clearly was "boys don't cry." He had gone by these words faithfully for years, refusing to allow himself to break down and weep like something weak and helpless and unable to control his circumstances.

He was L. He was always, always in control. At least, that was what he tried to tell himself, and what he knew wasn't true. The entire world was out of control. More precisely, it was out of his control. In Vas, he was not a celebrated detective. He was a scrawny twenty-something who begged for the corpses of former companions over the journal system because, barring Jenny, corpses were the only people he could really get along with.

Though he could feel his lashes and his cheeks growing damp, he tried to keep his tears discreet. He didn't want Merope to see how affected he was. Laura had said that she wouldn't leave him, and he'd accepted that with a child's trust, and now he was hearing it from another young woman who was indulging him at a point approaching "too far." He didn't want such a girl to see that he was in fact crying, because it would either drive her away or draw her closer, make her feel fear or pity, and L was somewhat terrified of both of these things.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 07:40 am UTC (link)
She knew what it was like, she knew more than anyone what it was like to be left by a loved one. Standing there pregnant, left and called nothing more than a disgusting whore who bewitched him. Merope tried not to think, try not to feel that and tried to forget that Tom-- No, she couldn't even think of his name.

"Tell me what to do." She whispered to L, her face which was slightly different than Laura's but resembled her,"...Just say, don't think." Her voice was soft, holding no real tone while she whispered to him. Soft voices were not easily determined to belong to one person but could belong to many.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 07:50 am UTC (link)
L and Merope could truly relate to one another, and therein lay the danger in this sort of encounter. Pity would lead to comfort, which had the potential to lead to other, more dangerous things. L's rational side did not want this to happen, but the basic, human parts of him remembered what it felt like to be engaged in a sexual act, and wanted that again. Though Merope was not Laura, she was close to what he needed, which was closure and the chance to properly say goodbye to a woman he missed.

It was a terrible and perilous request, to ask a man in L's state of mind not to think. Thought, rationality, the ability to logically process situations... this was all he had left. This restraint and this ability to control his urges kept him human and sane, and kept him from loathing himself too completely. But she sounded so much like Laura that his body responded, anyway. He pushed a hand between his legs, clenching his teeth, ashamed and upset with himself for having such obvious needs.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 08:00 am UTC (link)
She felt she wasn't doing a good job, had she spoke to much? Had her reactions to touch been so obvious that he stopped? Merope was so stupid, so easy to push into things she felt she messed up that guilt ate her like flies on corpses. Easily, she pulled him over on his back and wrapped her arm around him like she had the time he had been near death. The way he supported his head and she hid her face in his shoulder slightly so she wouldn't mess up his make-up job.

Merope was mothering, loving and tried to be whatever L needed. Parts of her could hear Rorschach calling her a whore, she wasn't sure if this was hurting him or not. While he seemed unsure of what to do right now, Merope allowed him time to think and relaxed against his body.

She was playing dead for him, it's not like she wasn't cold enough because she had been.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 08:07 am UTC (link)
L did not touch himself frequently. It had the opposite effect he would have wanted, actually intensifying his erection rather than calming it. He tried to suppress it, frustrated, using his other hand to cover his flushed face when Merope turned him over. He could hear undefined voices in his own mind calling him a monster, for the fact that his body was becoming this way, for the fact that this was yet another thing L couldn't control. Just the fact that Merope had given him complete control made him feel helpless, ironically enough.

Merope's slight weight against him felt remarkably, wonderfully real and solid. Please, let me, he begged himself. She would let me. I know that she would let me.

Under NO circumstances.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 08:32 am UTC (link)
At this point, she had lost the idea of there being no sexual acts involved. She laid there, mostly cold and slightly breathing from relaxing fully against him. If he were to move her, she would be limp as if she were dead.

Merope was soft, slight and easily accepting of people's needs.

While she laid there, her thought of nothing so that she wasn't moving or trembling. Perhaps if he thought she had fallen asleep?

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 12:30 pm UTC (link)
L lay, mortified, scarcely breathing himself. He was starting to realize that he was not a classic necrophiliac, by the way he couldn't make the mental leap and actually have sex with an unresponsive dead body. Laura had been an exception... though dead, she had moved, and spoken, and there was something there. What turned him on was trust and willingness to give him exactly what he wanted, and therein lay the dilemma. Merope was giving L exactly what he wanted: a pliable body, one that flopped limply as he half-rose indecisively... but the thing was, L did not want Merope dead, just like he hadn't really wanted Laura dead. He knew well enough that she wasn't, watching her very slight breathing. It both reassured him and told him that it wouldn't be all right to simply strip her of her clothes and use her body the way he'd intended to use a dead one. It would defeat the purpose. He'd needed a body, certainly... a body that no one, including the owner, needed anymore, so that he could take care of himself without hurting anyone.

If he had sex with Merope (the thought that he could was very real. Even though L was slight for a man of twenty five, taking someone as small as Merope would be extremely easy), L knew that it would be physically satisfying. He also knew that it wouldn't feel right, to have her stand and walk away as if nothing had happened, or to leave and let her go in more privacy. She was his friend, and she was wordlessly offering him the opportunity to treat her body like it was the victimless crime he'd thought he wanted, but... perhaps he could think of this as a test, he decided. Merope might have been eager to please, and happy to give others what they needed, but it was only an erection. It would go away by itself, given time, or, even knowing that the voyeuristic Management was probably watching, L could go to a quiet corner and take care of it.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 12:51 pm UTC (link)
While L was laying there underneath her, she kept her eyes closed and breathing slowly, deeply. She wasn't sure of his motives at this point but they had been semi-pure, so she trusted him enough to decide she could lay there without him actually doing much. While she laid limply, it was unknown if she was actually asleep or awake from her lack of responses and movements to adjust herself.

In actuality, Merope was somewhere in-between the two of them. She was half-asleep, she'd respond to questions at this point still.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-22 01:06 pm UTC (link)
In actuality, Merope's unresponsiveness was becoming slightly unnerving to L. He squirmed slightly, hoping that his erection wasn't as excruciatingly noticeable to her as it was to him. It was uncomfortable, but he had faith that it would die down and leave them both alone in a little while, since it seemed unlikely that he'd be able to find an appropriate moment to get up. He'd asked Merope to stay like that until he was asleep, after all.

"Laura. Why are you doing this?" he sighed quietly, half to himself, unsure if she would answer. He caught himself a sentence too late, murmuring an apologetic correction. "Merope."

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[info]heartache
2009-09-22 07:47 pm UTC (link)
How did she respond? She breathed easily for a while until her ears perked slightly with his stirring and voice she heard booming inside of his chest. "...To help you." She hadn't even heard his mistake, it was muffled as she moved a little more so her right hand was against his own.


In her head, this moment of allowing L to use her was also a way for her to feel the way she made Tom feel. Tom felt used when he could do nothing to defend against her love potion, but she wouldn't tell anyone that. Only Rorschach had knew.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-23 03:21 am UTC (link)
L couldn't honestly deny that Merope was helping him. Her supple, young body felt good against his own, and her willingness to become absorbed in a role that he wanted filled for the moment was admirable. Still, feeling her cold hand slip against his did nothing for his state of arousal... if he didn't know better, he'd have thought that Merope wanted him to take advantage of this. Either that, or she didn't know her own skill as a seductress.

"Merope... I need to get up," he said after a moment, trying to shift so that his erection wasn't pressing awkwardly against her. "I have to take care of something... I am sorry..." how mortifying.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-24 03:08 am UTC (link)
Merope didn't think of an erection, she was focused on other things. Instead of doing exactly what he asked, she got up and looked down at L with an insecure face plastered there. "Are you scared of me, L?" She tilted her head as she waited for an answer, not fully understanding the concept of why there was a problem.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-26 06:10 am UTC (link)
L scratched the back of his head distractedly. He stayed turned away from her; if she'd already seen it, there wasn't much he could do to save face, but at least she wouldn't be staring at it.

"Of course I'm not... scared of you... I just... don't take it the wrong way, but you're almost doing this too well."

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[info]heartache
2009-09-26 08:35 am UTC (link)
Merope breathed and move towards him, she was sitting directly behind him. She was more of a person to show how she felt physically instead of with words, she was no good with them. Her lithe arms slipped behind him, and pressed a light kiss against the back of his neck. "It's okay...I'm here to be with you. I can take care of whatever you need me to." She lifted her arms a little so she could lightly rub the fabric on his stomach.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-26 08:39 am UTC (link)
L shuddered at her touch. He knew that Merope often acted contact starved and needed to touch others to feel close to them and feel comforted herself, but at the same time, didn't she understand what it was he actually wanted right now? She touched his stomach, and his shoulders went slightly limp. This was exactly how Laura would behave in this circumstance. Firm without being overwhelming to the sexually timid young man.

"I am ashamed to ask."

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[info]heartache
2009-09-26 08:42 am UTC (link)
Leaning her head to the side, she pressed a light kiss to the side of his head. "I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore. Please...tell me.." Merope cuddled as close as she possibly could, her cold hands having never warmed due to lack of heat coming off of L all together. Merope knew she would certainly be hoarding over her lover when she got back to the Clock Tower.

"..Have I made any reason to be ashamed? I came here....right?" Merope mumbled into his shirt.

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[info]inmyownworld
2009-09-26 08:47 am UTC (link)
Her lips were still chilled enough that when they brushed his skin, they raised goosebumps along the back of L's pale neck. He was, indeed, cold despite his arousal. He hadn't eaten much, he hadn't slept... it was a wonder he could get and hold an erection at all, actually.

"You've given me no reason to be ashamed... that's only me," L admitted. "You've had a child, so you understand this, somewhat... but I slept with Laura. I asked for a corpse, in part, so I could sleep with it. I thought that it would remind me of Laura, and..." he stopped. Just stopped, abruptly, biting his tongue. There were things that Merope didn't need to hear, from him or anyone.

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[info]heartache
2009-09-26 08:54 am UTC (link)
"...Then pretend I am her. Call me Laura." Merope now moved in front of him, she was looking at his face and not his erection as she was kind of ignorant to this fact. All she wanted to do was make L feel better, if she was called Laura and thought to be another woman, she was okay. "Did you want to sleep with me?" Merope tilted her head kind of stupidly, her eyes were slightly wide.

The term wasn't something she was super familiar with, but it had to do with sex.

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(no subject) - [info]inmyownworld, 2009-09-26 08:59 am UTC

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