InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You can't prove anything."

inmyownworld (inmyownworld) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-09-21 02:01:00

Current music:	Scars on Broadway- "Funny"
Entry tags:	!active, day 24, l lawliet, location: pharmacy, merope gaunt

Funny, How You Turned Red, When I First Said, "Let's Join the Dead"
Who: L Lawliet and Merope
What: Merope agrees to help L. She doesn't deliver in quite the way he expected, though.
Where: The liquor store (ie, the place that he haunts and refuses to leave.)
When: Day 24, 8:00 PM
Rating: PG-13 for now for necrophilic implications.
Status: Active

L's hands shook as he set down his journal. He felt sick, in so many ways. Sick in the head, as Rose had implied, sick physically, sick in his soul. He was anything but quick to trust, and the moment he seemed to find someone he could confide in, trust his well-being and attempt a shy sliver of humanity with, they were taken away before he could attain any sort of closure. He clenched and unclenched his pale, thin hands, testing their strength. It was failing, his grip was becoming looser as his mental health declined. He was far from mad, but he saw the world in a skewed way that worsened with every day that passed in Vas Captio.

Merope was still his friend, at least. She had offered to give him what he wanted and needed, obtaining a body for him and bringing it to him. How the weak-limbed young woman would manage to haul the dead weight of a female corpse to him, he couldn't guess. Perhaps she planned to enlist the help of her stoic partner, Rorschach, even though he disapproved of L's preferences. He sighed, staring at the wax he'd found in the post office that was softening in the heat. He planned to use it to repair any spots where decomposition was too obvious. While L had had sex with Laura, he wasn't sure yet if he could go through with it with an inanimate corpse, whether it looked like her or not.

(Post a new comment)

heartache
2009-09-21 06:07 am UTC (link)

Merope was sure she could help him, he had written down requirements and she had managed to transfigure her right eye to match her opposing blue one. Now that she was mostly what he was looking for, she felt nervous and unsure as to what he might do.

She could hear Rorschach's words in her head: STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. LETTING BOY DO WHAT HE WANTS. WHORE.

Unlike her lover, she trusted L, she knew he would never compromise that. Moving into the liquor store, she approached him without a body and looked down at him.

"...L...I'll do what you needed the body for."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-21 06:17 am UTC (link)

L turned toward Merope, startled and confused by her presence. It wasn't like the girl to agree to something and then back out... he decided that the conditions had been impossible, and that she was here to apologize and say that it had been too terrible, that the insects had been too thick, that the corpse had been too heavy for her slight form to support. He immediately resolved to forgive anything she might say, knowing that she had tried and probably didn't mean to raise his hopes and then dash them.

Then, she offered herself to him. His breath caught in a slight gasp as he stood slowly, taking a step back. He averted his eyes, staring at his toes, long and thin like his fingers. He should have predicted this, should have seen it coming... with what he knew about Merope, how could this not have happened? Her soft heart had doubtless given her visions of him undressing something cold and decaying, caressing it, falling further away from humanity and becoming absorbed in his own depraved humanity. She was here, alone and willing, and she wanted to be a stand-in for a corpse.

She certainly looked the part. Merope looked near-death on the best of days, and in Vas Captio, where food and comfort were scarce, she was pale and too thin and though she was not as pretty as Laura, her coloration was about right. L had to fight back a wave of nausea, realizing that he was actually considering what he was.

"Merope, no." he said the word firmly, leaving no room for questions or doubts. "You're my friend, but you are under no obligation... I'm not angry. I just... you can't do that. You can't be that." he turned away, holding himself even though the weather was still over eighty degrees. He looked like he was trying to keep himself warm from cold that came from inside.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-21 06:26 am UTC (link)

She didn't move any closer, she couldn't imagine him doing something so sickly, so bad for himself. Merope had always been submissive enough and had low self worth that she could easily pretend to be a body for him. This was something she had some experience with, pretending to be asleep or dead while someone did what they wanted. The situation was only different because she wanted to help him and it might not involve anything sexual.

Even if it had been kind of sexual, she would likely forgive him.

She whispered to him,"...I can be that. I'll do whatever you want. I won't complain." Merope didn't want to allow her insecurities to deter her but they were there, nagging her and hurting her self-esteem. Could she not even be a dead body?

"Please." Merope begged him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-21 06:34 am UTC (link)

Part of the reason L was horrified by Merope's offer was because he knew that her self-esteem was low, and that the girl had been through a lot in her short lifetime. She had conceived, given birth to, and lost a child by the age of 17. She was eight years--the better part of a decade-- younger than L, and he was still a child in many ways himself. He never sacrificed for others, he knew in his heart that he could never be a parent. He watched her with an expression somewhere between pity, horror, and deep respect.

One reason he had wanted a corpse so badly was because it would have been like Laura, that way. Another reason was obvious to any lonely, socially awkward man. The promise of being unconditionally accepted, allowed to do anything, without fear of humiliation or fear or shame. He was terrified, right now, because Merope was offering him that very thing, without being dead.

He couldn't look at her. He focused his eyes on the wall, staring across the room and sighing. "Why do you want to do this? Why do you want to do this for me?" he looked exhausted. There was no light in his eyes, no passion for life, no spirit of survival or spark to fight. He was very much like a dead thing, himself. Maybe he wanted a corpse next to him because it would make him feel more alive.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-21 06:45 am UTC (link)

Merope took a deep breath in and started thinking on how to answer this question, she could see that it was stirring in his head. It only took a bit of coaxing for her to convince him most likely, she would prefer him to mess with a living body, submissive and willing that a dead one that was unloving an rotten away beneath his weight. For now, she stayed at where she'd been so she wouldn't make him feel any worse than he'd been feeling.

"No one else will and a dead body won't do you any good." She approached him this time, standing in front of him with her head down. "...I can be limp, quiet, obedient...unresisting. Test me." The black haired girl said softly, giving him silent permission.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-21 07:08 am UTC (link)

Merope was correct, in understanding that a dead body would further warp L and do nothing for his mental or emotional health. Though she didn't advance towards him, he felt smothered by her willingness, by her overwhelming offering of her own body for him to do whatever he wanted with.

She was serious, and she was asking to be tested. He shook his head slowly; he didn't need a test, not after hearing her speak the way she was about obedience and submission. Permission or not, it wasn't needed. He watched her, understood that her need to help him was as great as his need to be helped.

L first went toward the freezer section, removing frozen bottle of water. He then went behind the counter, finding Laura's makeup kit and crouching in front of Merope. He gave her the frozen water bottle, placing her hands firmly over it to demonstrate that he wanted them to be cold. He instructed her to hold very still as he meticulously began to do her makeup, just the way he'd seen Laura.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-21 07:23 am UTC (link)

Merope's body reacted to orders better than she did anything else. As she watched him leave her, she was sure that she hadn't convinced him to do it. It wasn't until he came back with several items did she look up to what he was doing. She set her blue eyes on him for a moment before lowering them to the water bottle in her hands.

As she took it in her hands, she watched him firmly close her hands around it so she would have them freezing. Merope didn't suck in a breath, didn't move and didn't complain of how freezing it had been. Instead she held very still, closing her eyes so he could do whatever he needed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-21 07:32 am UTC (link)

L was impressed by the fact that Merope didn't complain in the slightest about the ice against her hands. He focused diligently on the makeup, wondering if Merope would look in the mirror later. He ignored the softened wax, since it was unneeded. Merope's skin, while pale, was smooth and very much alive. Despite this, and the fact that her chest rose and fell shallowly as she breathed, she was doing very well at resembling a doll or a corpse.

He finished Merope's makeup, squinting like a craftsman examining his work, impressed with the final results. Merope was not a beautiful woman, but a well-done makeup job could make a great difference. After Merope had been holding the frozen water bottle for several minutes, L took her hands, bringing them toward his body. He sighed softly, feeling frigid hands against his face, and then, after drawing them under his white cotton shirt, against his bony chest.

Strangely enough, there was nothing sexual about the contact, or even sensual. L reacted almost as if it was, however, closing his eyes, relishing the human contact.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-21 07:43 am UTC (link)

Whenever she was sure that the make-up was finished, she opened her eyes and looked straight back at him. She resembled Laura in a way, but she was no where near as beautiful or as curvy, but she was passable. The make-up had done wonders for someone so unattractive and plain.

The coldness of her hands had them slightly stiff, but she didn't stretch them out. Her limbs were loose for him, delicate and gentle. Being that she could barely feel her fingers, she kept her eyes very settled and without judgement.

He drew them to his face and then beneath his shirt, against his chest. Merope forced herself not to react on her face even though she'd turned a bit pink on her flesh from it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-21 04:49 pm UTC (link)

Merope did resemble Laura. Despite her youth and sweetness, and the affection she showed him that Laura never quite had, the likeness was striking and adequate for L's purposes. He'd thought aboug it briefly, and knew beyond a doubt that said purposes could not include having sex with Merope. The only thing sicker than using a dead body the way he'd intended was to use a living body ready and willing to fake death for him.

The stiffness of Merope's hands aided the illusion; as he held them against his chest, achingly remembering the way Laura had touched him, but he noticed Merope's blush. He swallowed, retracting his hands, feeling like a monster for allowing her to do this.

"One thing," he said softly, turning his back toward her and wrapping her arms around him from behind as he lay down. "Please, stay just like this until I am asleep."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-22 05:37 am UTC (link)

Merope tried not to do much moving or reacting so he didn't think he was doing something humiliating or sinful to her. As he moved himself so his taller form was against her front, she laid down with him and listened in quietly. Once they were on the ground, her freezing hands lightly rubbed his stomach for a moment before she to had curled up behind him.

If anything, she would never turn away affection of any sort.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

inmyownworld
2009-09-22 06:17 am UTC (link)

L sighed deeply, feeling Laura... no, feeling Merope's... hands, cool and soft against his stomach. That part of him was sunken in further than usual, and softer. He was young, so his skin didn't sag, but his bones were more prominent, and his his muscle tone was fading. He closed his eyes, listening to his heartbeat, which was irregular, alternating between a tense, fearful, pattering rhythm and a sluggish, dull one. He was not healthy, he was not doing well. His mind was in turmoil and his body was starting to fail him in small but noticeable ways. He curled in Merope's arms, feeling steadier just by having another body nearby. It would be gone when he woke up, he was sure, which made him want to delay sleep for just a bit longer.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartache
2009-09-22 06:45 am UTC (link)

Merope shifted very slightly, she knew how bad he must have felt. Noticing the water bottle, she had an idea and called it over magically until it was near her mouth. Making sure he wasn't paying attention, she put her mouth on top of it until she was sure that her mouth was positively freezing.

He wanted more. He likely needed more.

When she was sure it was fine, she leaned up slightly and pressed her mouth against his. Rorschach had never minded them kissing in this way, so she did not find fault in it. Her lips were as icey as possible, before she could pull away,"....won't leave you." she whispered.