WHERE. Their bedroom in the Xhorhaus. WHEN. Late evening of February 2. WHAT. The wizard husbands talk about the last ten days and what transpired in Flipped Vallo. WARNINGS. Some talk of the evil deeds of an evil AU. ART CREDIT.Here
Exhaustion had been tugging at Essek when he had finally floated through the front door of the Xhorhaus after the battle was won, the portal was closed, and the monsters were dispatched. Rather than Teleport directly home like he normally might, he'd been forced to rely on waypoints and his own two feet as his reserves were too tapped for instantaneous travel. He had worked his way through his arsenal of spells and magic quite quickly, the evil counterpart of his husband's focus resulting in a great number of lost spells and returned counterspells. He had made it through the portal, though, ever grateful for the foresight he'd had to pocket a healing potion.
He had hurried, though, panicked as he was after seeing the devastation that had been wrought upon his husband's counterpart. At the time, no one knew what would happen once the portal closed and a very real part of Essek had been terrified. If his wounds from battle had traveled with Essek, who was to say that Caleb's wouldn't, too?
Which is why, once home, the time passed in a flurry of relieved emotions and wet eyes that he had fervently ignored as Essek kissed his whole and unharmed husband longer than he ever would have normally in mixed company, then hugged his children tightly before once again thanking his best friend. An explanation of what had happened was given, though sparse on the deeper details, with Essek giving Caleb as meaningful a look as he could: later, it said, I will tell you the rest later. As soon as Kir and Kiri had been told as many stories as they wanted and finally fell prey to their own exhaustion, as he wasn't sure how many details should be shared with such young ears.
And that time eventually came, which was why Essek was now in their bedroom, awaiting Caleb to join him, as he knew he would. The room was quiet, save for the occasional clink as he dropped another earring into the trinket dish that they lived in when they weren't decorating his long ears. He had changed out of his battle torn clothes hours ago, donning himself in something more flowy and Essek, but it was always his jewelry that he did away with first, when it was time to settle for the evening.
Settling sounded very good about now, though Essek knew he wouldn't fully be able to do so, not until he had talked to his husband. The week had been odd, requiring a great deal of magic and clever thinking to correct the oddity that was the portal, but also had sent the drow on an unexpected emotional journey. It wouldn't feel truly over until he shared the load.
Caleb Wiogast was not especially fond of missing time.. There had been eleven years of his life that were a blur, days of lucidity and memories that have a rough fuzziness around them. This was barely even that. He had no memories, no recollection, just a few feelings from the last few days.
None of the feelings were good. Jealousy, lust, then rage. It all tingled together in a mass of jumbled moods that Caleb had to sort through as he teleported from his bookstore to home. Then it had been hours of reuniting, of Kiri refusing to let him go - Caleb did not want her to and was more than content to carry Kiri around everywhere. She’d explained a little, in her way, and with half the story coming from her on that end, he’d had to give a few meaningful glances towards his husband and others in the house.
No one was offering anything up right away, and Caleb didn’t want them to in front of the children, which left waiting until bedtime.
So he was as patient as he could be, until the children were in bed and Caleb could slip into his bedroom just in time to watch Essek remove all of his jewelry. That was normally something he enjoyed watching, to see Essek step out of himself and into something more comfortable, plain, even.
Not that he would have ever described Essek as plain. But now Caleb silently moved to perch on the edge of the bed, half ready to bolt when the other shoe dropped. He did not know how to ask for the information, or how to check on Essek, so he just sat quietly and watched as each piece of jewelry was removed.
As Essek unhooked his final earring, a very simple hoop, he pulled in a long breath before releasing it slowly. The earring fell among its brethren and Essek turned, forgetting about the jewelry for now as his attention stopped right on his husband, as it so often did. He knew that he owed Caleb answers to silently asked questions and he had every intention to give them. Years ago, Essek had vowed to himself that he would never willingly keep things from Caleb again and while that may have been born out of desperation after being dropped into Vallo so soon after his betrayal had been discovered by Caleb and their friends, it had morphed into something far healthier as their relationship had grown.
Now, rather than wanting to tell Caleb things in an effort to prove that he would do it and could be trusted, he wanted to tell Caleb things because they loved one another.
This, of course, was different. It involved Caleb directly, even if he didn't remember. And with their bedroom door closed and the children sleeping peacefully, there was no better time than the present. Essek floated across the room, feet touching down silent next to the bed as he stood before Caleb.
He reached out, gently tucking a strand of red hair behind Caleb's ear. It felt good to touch him, healing in a way, even as Essek admitted, "I want to tell you everything, but I cannot tell where best to start. A lot happened in the last ten days, but I keep getting distracted by just how grateful I am to have you here."
Caleb reached out tentatively, it wasn’t usually like this. Normally his grip was sure and firm, it held weight to it as he would cup his hand over Essek’s hip. He thought about making a little joke about Essek floating and the floor being cold, but it died on his tongue before it could emerge.
He was hesitant, and that was not a normal thing for Caleb in this safe space. He knew deep down that Essek would not even be in this room if there was a doubt about anything in their relationship, that things would have gotten hashed out in a more neutral area. But still his hand only grazed, touching the delicate feel of Essek’s luxury clothes, the silk as soft as his skin was. “You do not have to tell me everything,” Caleb assured, his accent thick as his throat felt a little hoarse with emotion. “I do not want you to be the one to have all of that on you. But think of that person you saw as not so much me but an unlikely yet inevitable possibility.”
Though now it was more of a reality than a possibility, they had both known that there were probably many worlds where Caleb did not take the path of the Mighty Nein, where he did not break free. Some days it had felt that was the more obvious path than one of redemption. “Tell me what you did during those days. How you fared.”
Essek could feel the hesitancy in the air, not only because it was coming from Caleb, but also himself. It had been a long time since he had felt a need to truly sort through his thoughts before presenting them to Caleb, likely not since before they had taken the leap from flirtation to true relationship. He had grown so used to sharing so many parts of himself with Caleb that holding back now felt strange, even with Caleb's blessing to not have to divulge everything.
But Essek wanted to, he wanted to remain on that even field with his husband. And so, he would try his best.
"I mostly just felt sorry for myself," he started, both honest and with a dose of levity. "I went feeling a certain level of bravado, thinking I would be able to save you both, but it became immediately clear that Kir did not know me, then you were not easily accessible. I helped where I could, but I worried. I worried someone would get to you before I could and you--"
Essek cut himself off, recognizing that he was teetering on the edge of spiraling and not wanting to fall into it. It was too early in this conversation for that. His eyes lifted from Caleb, to the ceiling as he took a long breath in. "I know he was not you, just another option, like another unrealized timeline. But I still cared, regardless."
Caleb snorted, quietly. “That is a very polite way to say “evil”. Not easily accessible.” He didn’t mean to throw in levity, but thought perhaps Essek needed a little of it. Caleb’s hand finally found purchase on Essek’s hip for real now, to offer something steadying during all of this.
He kept his eyes on Essek, even as his husband looked everywhere else. That was not unusual, Caleb liked staring at people, but mostly especially him. He could study the fine lines, the delicate features, the things he loved about Essek, and all of the things he had spent forever cataloging before they were even in a relationship. He had studied these features for so long how they moved when Essek effortlessly lied, and how unsure he could be when telling the truth.
“You did your best,” Caleb was sure of that, even without memories. He wanted Essek to be sure of that as well. “We are very lucky that you care as much as you do. I would do the same for you, Mond meines Lebens.”
Essek appreciated the bit of levity, the corner of his mouth going so far as twitching into something resembling a smile as his hand lifted and his fingers skated over Caleb's at his hip. What he wanted more than anything was to step forward and into Caleb, to feel solid arms around him and take comfort in a touch that, once upon a time, he had convinced himself he would never want or need. He had a feeling that Caleb would give it to him if he asked. Essek wasn't done, though, and he supposed there was a proper order to these things.
His gaze dropped from the ceiling, back down to Caleb's handsome face. "I know you would," Essek murmured. "And I did do what I thought was best, but--" He paused, letting out a soft huff of a breath. "I had reached out to him. We spoke and it became clear that he knew me, that we had history." Another pause, this time paired with a raised eyebrow. "Romantic history, but also more. He spoke of overturning the Assembly, as well as working towards the same with the Bright Queen. The two of us, working together."
That alone had been weighing on Essek, the knowledge that a version of himself existed somewhere that had succumbed to his deeper desires, the ones that the Mighty Nein had kept him from delving into. There was comfort that he still had Caleb, but also a measure of concern. But again, he wasn't done.
"A number of the rebels had been taken by his people and he trusted me enough to give me that location to meet him. I gave that information to the rebels, then distracted him so they could rescue their people. He was, ah." Essek's head tipped to the side, considering. "Upset by this sequence of events."
It was a serious situation. A serious conversation. One that Caleb had got into with the intention of remaining serious, and listening to Essek as he spoke. He was quiet, thoughtful, supportive. He held onto Essek’s side and kept a grounding hand on his husband, nodded along with the story, gave him time to continue as he needed.
But then he couldn’t stop his smile from starting to grow. Caleb could not say the idea of taking down the Assembly together was inherently evil, considering he was doing that with Beauregard back home and that they had nearly accomplished it - they had been taking out the most corrupt members, as necessary. The Bright Queen was a lofty goal, and one likely to make them a very large amount of enemies. If he had been high on power, that likely would not have given him pause.
But Essek was the key point to all of this to Caleb. Essek, who had once committed treason against his people, had played the Mighty Nein, only to fall in love with them and learn what friendship and family truly was. The one that had handed off a Beacon, helped launch a war - had betrayed a man he loved, for the greater good.
Caleb could not have been more proud in that moment. It was impossible to keep that off of his face, his smile only grew. “You gave the information to the rebels. Against me.” A pause. “That is very hot of you, Essek Widogast.”
Essek had known, when he had admitted what he'd done to Blue and Gilmore, that Caleb--his Caleb--wouldn't be upset at his actions. He knew that he would be pleased to know that he had done the right thing, even if it meant going against a version of himself to do it. It was Caleb, along with other members of the Mighty Nein in one way or another, that had woken his conscience and given him both incentive and desire to divert his path. Essek had known that there would be some semblance of pride from his husband when he admitted what had been weighing on his shoulders.
Even so, he couldn't help the huff of a laugh and fond roll of his eyes at Caleb's reaction. Essek reached out with his free hand, playfully placing it over Caleb's mouth as though he was trying to hide the smile that was warming his insides.
"Menace," Essek teased, even as he stepped forward and gave into what he had been wanting to do this entire conversation: slipping into Caleb's lap. It meant lifting his hands, one off Caleb's hand and the other his face, letting his arms circle around his husband's neck, but that was all right. After a week apart, the physical closeness was a balm. Essek could feel the weight trickle off of his shoulders, the knowledge of what he had done being approved by Caleb and confirming his suspicions doing wonders. "I had a feeling you would say something like that."
Caleb continued that grin, it wasn’t dying down anytime soon. It also helped that Essek relaxed, which had been one of his main goals. His hands settled around Essek’s waist, and there was no complaint on his lips when his lap was suddenly occupied. To perpetuate that menace title, Caleb flicked his tongue out against Essek’s hand before it was removed.
“Ja, I am glad to be of service, then.” Being predictable was not something he disliked, especially in this household. He wanted Essek to know him, and he wanted Essek to know just how much he believed in him. He would not claim it was entirety the Mighty Nein’s doing for that, because it felt like it took away from Essek’s own ability to grow and learn, even without them. But he was still proud.
And more than a little aroused by it, though that was likely a conversation better left for later. “You will never have to feel sorry for helping those that need helping, even if it is at my expense. It sounds as if that Caleb deserved the betrayal.” He gave a thoughtful little hum as his grin faded. “Are there apologies I should make to others?”
Essek gave the question the thought that he gave any question Caleb asked him. His mind went over the previous days, the information he had gleaned from eavesdropping on conversations and what he had been given directly. There was no denying that that world's Caleb had made his mark on the world and its people. Many of those people wouldn't remember those actions, of course, and Essek had to hope that meant there would be little recourse for his husband to have to navigate.
"Mm," Essek hummed in return. "He had apparently aided in burning the forest to the ground, so perhaps just apologize to the trees." A joke, albeit a terrible one, but Essek didn't really know how to make jokes that weren't of the terrible sort.
"Though his attempt to woo me to his side was gifting me a certain genasi we both know that has a peculiar bit of dunamis in their, well." Essek gestured toward his head, in the general area of where Ashton's odd crystal sat. "Perhaps we could send them a fruit basket."
At that, Caleb’s eyebrows went up. He distinctly remembered telling Essek no, he could not crack open Ashton’s head in order to peek at the dunamis brain, so for that to be in reverse, for Caleb to offer someone’s head practically on a platter.
Well, it could have gone a completely different route, and yet.
Caleb cleared his throat, he wasn’t grinning any longer, and looked far more sober at the thought. “I am even more proud of you for that restraint, then. But ja, I believe I owe them a gift and perhaps an apology.” But not right now, as he had Essek in his lap and it was very late in the evening. Caleb paused and tightened his hold. “Tomorrow. Will you sleep with me tonight? I would like to hold you.”
Essek felt Caleb's grip on himself tighten and he didn't hesitate in shifting forward, bringing them ever closer so he could let his forehead drop and press to his husband's. His eyes closed and he pulled in a long breath, just taking comfort in the fact that he was here, home, and with Caleb and their family once more--while also, he thought, hopefully giving some comfort in return. He couldn't imagine hearing about what he'd witnessed was all that much easier than living through it.
Which was why it took nothing from Essek to murmur, "Of course, ussta ta'ecelle." Not having to sleep meant that Essek often didn't, using that four additional hours to read or work on other projects. Tonight, though, he welcomed skipping the meditation of trancing for a deep sleep next to Caleb instead, knowing he would wake with him close and safe.
He pressed a gentle kiss to Caleb's cheek, then the corner of his lips. "There is nothing I would like more."