“Have you ever seen one of these before?” Diego asked, his leg bouncing up and down against the floor “I have. People shove them at you and then try to tell you where’s the leg and whatever, and I can never see shit.” It all looked like a blob to Diego. God, if he couldn’t find the arms, was that a sign of his imminent failure at fatherhood? Was the ultrasound the first actual test, like, congratulations but before we tell you anything else, find which one is a leg and which is the head, no sir, that’s actually just a bit of cream cheese on the screen?
It was odd, but also weirdly fitting that today was both his and Lila’s birthdays (which, contrary to popular opinion, didn’t actually make them siblings, shut up) and they were going to see their kid for the first time. The whole thing had yet to stop being absolutely fucking insane to Diego, and he was pretty sure it was going to stay that way for the rest of his life. It felt like yesterday that he had been telling Serefin and Jacob that what he felt about potentially being a parent hadn’t mattered because Lila wasn’t there, and then boom, here she was. Given a Diego that wasn’t the one she knew, exactly, although he remembered it all. The good, the…less good, there hadn’t really been a time where Diego had reflected back and thought ‘I’d never do it that way,’ because it wasn’t true. He would have. Every bit. He did.
He nudged Lila, the movement a bit awkward given her position laying on a medical bed in a paper gown and waiting for the ultrasound person (whatever the fuck they were called) to appear. “Hey. Thanks for letting me come.” Lila didn’t have to, of course. But Diego was a stubborn ass who showed up for his people, no matter what.
Lila was more tense than she appeared. One of the first things her mum - no, the Handler - had taught her was to never let them see you sweat. But goddamn, she was sweating. Maybe the room was hot and it wasn't just her nerves. She stared down at the growing mound of her belly, still smallish but definitely showing and listened to Diego talk about legs.
It was the thanks that pulled her back down to Earth.
"Thanks for wanting to come. I suppose." She didn't suppose. She knew. But admitting exactly how glad she was that he cared was not happening today. No, it was not. Lila flicked him in the arm. "As for your question, no I have not seen one of these before. It's still only like the size of a….a grapefruit or something so I'm expecting a blob creature on the telly."
“That’s so fucking weird, right? It has fingerprints too, apparently. And can yawn. No clue why the fuck the baby is yawning in there, but damn.” Diego wasn’t the biggest fan of technology, and he would have never said it to anyone, but he had in fact downloaded one of apps designed to track pregnancy development–you could even change what the size of the baby was compared to, food, toys, or animals, even. The first day he had nearly deleted right off the bat when the app said the baby was able to suck its thumb, but really, it was interesting and gave him some small bit of comfort because he was flying very, very blind.
A quick knock at the door announced the presence of the ultrasound tech, a friendly faced individual with a shock of green hair. “Are you ready to see your baby?” they asked, while prepping everything: pulling over a monitor on wheels and turning it on, logging into the computer system to make notes, and of course, spreading a clear gel on the small bump with an apologetic, “It’s a little cold, sorry about that!” They brought over the wand and gave it an experimental pass over Lila’s stomach. A glance at the screen, and then another pass, and then one more after that, more confident now.and in a centralized area. “Just give it a second, it takes a little bit to–and they’re a little stubborn it seems–there we go.”
Sure enough, there was a shape emerging on the screen, blurry and nebulous at first but then coming more into focus, especially as the shape appeared to shift and turn at the last minute, giving a clear profile view.
“Holy shit,” Diego breathed out, a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He felt lightheaded and grabbed onto Lila’s hand. “Holy shit,” he repeated. Yeah, it was a blob, but it was their blob and it was overwhelming and insane and even more real than it had been before. Since their baby had a nose that he could very clearly see, at least, and the curve of its forehead.
It was harder to panic when Diego was rambling, at least. Lila could admit that much. Not out loud mind you, but the ultrasound was starting before she could feel too bad about being stingy with words. Real anxiety tended to do that to her. Zipped her up tight. Less so with him, somehow, but still. She was rigid with nerves.
"Everything looks good," the tech smiled. Maybe they recognized her deer in headlights stare.
"Oh. Good. Right. Thank you." Lila sounded like she was at the end of a tunnel but she was sure she was just imagining that rubbish. Her grip on Diego's hand was very tight as he expressed himself as he always did - colorfully. "Holy shit is right," she managed to echo. Was her face damp? Bloody hell.
Lila breathed in, wobbly and emotional. "Fuck, sorry. The hormones are taking over."
The tech was obviously very used to shell shocked parents-to-be. Diego, for one, kept making a triangle with his stare, from the screen to Lila to the small baby bump, then back to the screen again, like he wanted to look everywhere and just couldn’t figure out how to do it. “Of course,’ the tech agreed,easily. “Unfortunately those will take awhile to adjust, even after the baby is born, but that’s completely normal and nothing to beat yourself up over.”
Diego didn’t need any prompting to jump in and, after looking around the room quickly and unable to find a goddamn tissue box (it was literally to the left of him but in his oh, sheer and utter panic, he wouldn’t have been able to find it if it had been waving arms and calling his name) he pulled down the sleeve of his black, long-sleeved shirt, and offered it to Lila. “Hey, you hear that? Not the hormonal part, but the part about the baby looking good? That’s all you, you’re doing great. And that,” because both hands were now officially occupied, he jerked his head at the screen. “Is our baby, which is fucking wild.”
“I could probably tell you what the sex is, if you’re curious,” the tech offered. “Some are, some want to be surprised, and it’s not always accurate, depending on the angle the baby’s at.”
Diego turned to Lila, unsurprisingly baffled once again. “Up to you. Your birthday, you pick.” It was both of their birthdays, of course, but he pulled the card first.
It just went to show how distracted and emotional Lila was that she took the offered sleeve and wiped her damp face on it. “If you don’t stop being nice to me, I’m going to get used to it and then I’ll have to kick your arse if you stop,” she warned him.
The tech’s eyebrows lifted but they seemed only vaguely amused. Lila doubted she was the first expectant mother to threaten the father-to-be. She wasn’t self-conscious about it. She was a little self-conscious about the need to be touching Diego right now so she made herself let him go and curled her fingers into the flimsy paper sheet on the exam chair instead.
“I…think I’d like to know.” She wanted to know everything at the same time she wanted to remain blissfully ignorant. But her need to be as prepared as she could be for the mission won out. “Let’s be honest, Diego, we’re going to have a hard enough time with this without any surprises, yeah?”
“I’d at least feel better not calling the baby an it anymore,” Diego agreed, scratching the back of his head with his now freed hand. Some people made up cutesy nicknames for their baby, Diego wasn’t at that point yet if only because everything about the baby felt so much bigger and more important and what if he came up with something and it was stupid and scarred the baby for life? That was a thing, right?
The tech nodded, once again moving the wand and then shifting just a bit to the screen to click around and zoom in and out. “If I can get a clear image, I’m happy to tell you, just a sec, baby’s in just a little bit of a weird spot–ah ha.” They clicked again and a printer came to life to print out a strip of images. “Mom and Dad, your baby girl looks right on track.” There were some other details Diego caught subconsciously and would remember later, things about appointments and that Lila could get cleaned up and dressed, but all he heard immediately was a whooshing sound of his own breathing. That baby, in the black and white photo strip, was going to call them her parents.
It took Diego an embarrassing amount of time to actually come back to himself as he was just staring at the photostrip feeling somehow so overwhelmed but also so certain that this was their baby and she wouldn’t go one day without knowing she was loved. He knew that, innately. “Do you want to go somewhere?” he asked Lila. “I don’t know if you have plans or anything, but, if you didn’t, we could, I don’t know, get coffee or something.”
A girl. At least, biologically speaking, Lila corrected to herself. That might end up being wrong, but it was information she hadn’t had five minutes ago, and it softened her edges. Or maybe it was the stunned look on Diego’s face. Was he picturing himself braiding hair while watching a princess movie? She doubted it, but a part of her couldn’t help but hope.
She maybe stared at him a little too softly for a little too long.
“Right then. Cheers!” The tech was nearly out the door by the time Lila managed that much of a thank you. She slid off the table and straightened up her appearance. Diego was still zoned out, so she used it as an excuse to crowd closer into his space. When he finally spoke, he surprised her. Her eyebrows lifted softly and a confused smile twitched at the corner of her mouth.
“I don’t have plans,” she said. “I mean, I was planning on harassing you as a birthday present to myself…Oh! And I got you something.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the tiniest knife in its own tiny little sheath. “I tried to stick a bow on it but you can imagine how that went,” she joked.
Diego’s visions of having a kid were–well, he actually didn’t have any, really. He hadn’t envisioned himself doing anything with their child, except for not fucking it up. Which maybe seemed like a low bar, but considering the parenting that he and Lila had, it was basically the most important thing in the world, that their kid know that they (she, technically, for now), were loved and could do whatever the fuck she wanted to do in life, because it would be her choice and not theirs.
But he did wonder about braiding.
And what qualifications were for coaching any sport.
He looked down at the world’s smallest knife, his mouth twisting in the way it tended to do when he was fighting off a smile. Diego’s smiles were rare things, even now, the ones that weren’t smirks when he found something humorous or were the precursor to something cutting. They were saved for the people who knew him best and the moments he could really be himself. “This is like, the most fucking ridiculous thing ever, you realize that, right? I mean, I’m going to have to fucking stab and murder someone with it now to make up for how small it is. The second someone makes fun of it, I will fucking fillet them with this tiny knife, that’s the only choice.”
Diego leaned over and nudged Lila’s shoulder with his own. “I got you something but I didn’t bring it because I don’t fucking know, this is stupid, come with me to the train first?”
His reaction was everything Lila could've hoped for and she grinned back at him, shamelessly pleased. Buying the knife had been an impulse. A quiet desperate need to remind him that of all the people they knew born on this day, he was special to her.
"I can't wait to watch your face journey when it's one of your beloved inner circle that harasses you," she teased. She liked him leaning into her space and she had no qualms doing it right back.
"Lead the way then, handsome." Even as she said that, she tucked her arm through his and did more of the leading to get them out of the room. It was her style to barrel ahead as much as it was his. "And don't lose that photo. I might put it on the fridge and make people guess which part is her head."