Essek was surprised as anyone else when he had come to find that he actually enjoyed reading the books aloud at Chastity's Nook to a small audience. For as much fun as it was to put on voices and lay it on thick during particular moments, though, it couldn't truly compare to when he got to read fairy tales to his very favorite audience of one: Kiri.
It wasn't every night that he had the luxury of being able to put Kiri to bed, but tonight it had fallen to him and he had no complaints about it. Sometimes he thought back to the conversation he'd shared with Caleb when Kiri had first arrived; it wasn't hard to recall the hesitance and downright terror he'd felt at having to acclimate to a life with a child suddenly in it. Even then, he couldn't have predicted how he would eventually take it being a parental figure (of several) to this young kenku, but here he was.
It had taken three and a half bedtime stories before Essek recognized the slow breathing of Kiri next to him, slumped against his side as sleep had won its battle. With a smile, he dismissed the floating globules of light that had been for Kiri's benefit alone as he carefully eased out of where he'd been sitting on the edge of her bed. He paused to tuck her into the blankets as she adjusted without him there to lean on, then placed a gentle kiss to her feathered forehead. The books were placed back among her growing collection on the bookshelf, then he carefully, as silently as he could, slipped out of her room, the door closing behind him.
Turning the corner to make his way to the stairs, Essek paused and took a step back as he recognized his brother at one of the bedroom doors. It was a sight that he was still getting used to, having spent so many decades living away from Verin. He remembered their youth, of course, but that had been so long ago and there had been no situation back home where he could imagine living under the same roof as his brother again. He was grateful for the opportunity in Vallo, particularly because the sheer size of the Xhorhaus and the number of people living there at least took off some of the pressure Essek was sure he'd conjure.
Knowing that his brother was likely sharing a goodnight with Cassandra, Essek waited until he thought the coast was clear and then turned the corner once more. Once he knew for certain that he wasn't interrupting anything, he slipped into their native Undercommon to ask, "Share a drink with your brother?" as he gave Verin a small smile, tipping his head toward the stairs and the general direction of the kitchen.
Saying goodnight to Cassandra was always difficult, though admittedly it had been much harder--in some ways--before Verin had lived under the same roof as her. Even so, he loved it. He loved having someone in his life that made it hard to say goodnight, loved having someone he could care so deeply about. He’d had relationships--or an intentional lack of them--back in Xhorhas, but he could honestly say that what he’d found here in Vallo was very different than anything he’d ever experienced before.
His relationship with Cassandra wasn’t the only thing for which he’d be forever grateful here, though. As Essek moved in to walk beside him, Verin knew that the small smile on his face was not only provoked by the goodnight kiss he’d shared with his girlfriend, but also the slowly growing normality of spending time with his older brother. He nodded once and, in the same tongue, replied, “Is it too much to ask for my own drink, or do we have to share the one?”
He was teasing, of course. A novelty when it came to Essek. He liked that it felt like he could do that now.
Once upon a time, Essek would have either ignored or rolled his eyes at the joke, not having the wherewithal to indulge but so much in having an easy sense of humor. Now, he met his brother with a half smile of his own and teased in reply, "That will depend on if we have more than one clean glass."
They did, of course, have more than one clean glass, as they found upon reaching the kitchen. Essek chose a plum wine he had found in the city that reminded him remarkably of those that were common in Rosohna and poured them both a glass, casting a quick Prestidigitation on each to chill the liquid inside to the proper temperature. It was a handy cantrip, that much was for certain.
Sliding Verin's glass toward him down the counter, Essek picked his own up. After taking a small sip and nodding in approval, his gaze went to his brother. "How are you settling in? Are you comfortable?"
Verin found his smile growing wider at his brother responding with a joke of his own. It was not lost on him how much Essek had grown and changed since he’d last seen him back home. There were still so many things he was wrestling with when it came to his complicated relationship with Essek, but it was nice to feel that there was more common ground these days than not. And, after all, when was the last time he’d ever heard his brother joke? That was a good development, no matter how he’d gotten there.
Catching the glass with one hand, Verin took a sip, giving a slight nod of approval before taking another drink and giving the questions a moment of thought. “I am comfortable, actually. More so than I expected?” he replied, setting the glass back down.
“It’s not that I expected to be uncomfortable, mind. It’s more that I thought it would be harder for me to feel like this could be my home given that it was everyone else’s first.”
Essek nodded in understanding as he took another sip of wine before letting it come to rest before him. "Only Caleb and I were here when the house first arrived and though he invited me to live here right away, I had some of the same reservations. Beside the fact that things were still..." He hesitated, tipping his head ever so slightly to the right as he considered how best to describe the state his relationship with Caleb had been in those early days after his confession, before deciding on, "fraught between us, I still felt that this was very much their home, even if the Umavi had gifted it to them."
His thoughts meandered back to when the Xhorhaus sat in Rosohna, watching the Mighty Nein personalize the mansion and thoroughly irritate their new neighbors with the additions with a quiet appreciation. So much had changed since then.
Essek's fingers traced along the edge of his glass, eyes on the liquid as he continued, "But, they have a way of making you feel welcome, once you've been accepted into the fold." He glanced up to Verin, a small smile once more on his mouth as he added, "And you have been, were there any question."
“I appreciate that, you know,” Verin replied, having now taken to slowly turning the glass on the counter, something to occupy his hands while he thought about the various Exandrians he’d met here. “I know I didn’t make it easy for them to accept me. I know I kept my distance in an attempt at some semblance of self-preservation. I’m grateful that they’ve accepted me regardless.”
He glanced up at his brother and smiled. “Your Mighty Nein remind me a bit of my friends back home, actually. They’re exactly the sort of people I’d want to spend my time with. Despite my initial misgivings, it gives me joy to see them be the sort of people you want to spend your time with, too.”
It was a bit funny, Essek thought to himself. There had been a time when he and Verin had been inseparable, until parental driven rivalry and the heavy weight of expectation left Essek willingly severing that bond. He had to wonder if, had things not gone the way that they had, if he and Verin might have shared friends that were like the Mighty Nein. It didn't do much to dwell on what could have been, but it didn't stop Essek from doing exactly that now and again.
"It makes me glad that you had friends like them as well," Essek said instead. "Though I'm sorry that they aren't here for you."
Lifting a shoulder, Verin said, “I try to remind myself that I shouldn’t wish leaving behind everything they know on anyone. For as much as I know they’d follow me into alternate dimensions if I asked it of them, it’s probably better that they’re not here.” A small laugh. “They’d absolutely fit in here, though. And they’d absolutely give me so much shit for being in an actual relationship.”
He grinned at Essek, then. “I have a feeling you’d enjoy that, though.”
Despite himself, Essek found himself mirroring Verin's grin, enjoying that kinship. "I think that I rather might."
He, of course, didn't have the same experience of comraderie back home. His only friends were the Mighty Nein and Essek had no idea how that was going to play out in Exandria. Everyone else he knew were colleagues, or his brother, or -- their mother. Essek let out a rough laugh at the thought. "Can you imagine mother? Her sons finally find themselves in relationships and they're both with humans."
Essek had gotten a glimpse of that when the spectral version of their mother had followed him around months back, but it wasn't quite the same. The cycle of rebirth that the Dynasty elite had grown used to made them more accepting of other races, but an Empire human? Even if he was dubbed a Hero of the Dynasty? Essek couldn't have cared less what anyone else thought, but he still had to chuckle softly. "I'm almost disappointed to not get to live through the scandal at court."
Verin took a drink of his wine and immediately regretted it when he snorted a laugh at the thought of their mother’s absolute distress. “Ow. Fuck, ow,” he laughed, setting the glass back on the counter and wiping at his chin where he’d dribbled a bit of the liquid.
“It’s not even the fact that they’re human, really,” he mused, grabbing a forgotten tea towel to wipe off his hands. “But unconsecuted humans. The shame we’ve brought on our esteemed family name, Essek. How does it feel to be one of the Most Disappointing Thelysses?” He laughed again, though there was a part of the thought that he did try to avoid thinking about. He didn’t care who or what Cassandra was--he was falling for every part of her. It made him more than uncomfortable to imagine life without her, though, and the unconsecuted part of that equation made it more of an inevitability than an abstract thought.
At least, it would mean as such back home. Here, death was likely permanent for all of them.
“I almost wish a real incarnation of our mother would show up here to see it,” he added, refusing to dwell on the less pleasant thoughts, especially right now.
Following suit, Essek himself snorted. "I already am submitting my condolences for the poor person who would be saddled with welcoming her on arrival." He also couldn't imagine that her response to Ronan's charmingly unique welcome video would be entirely charitable; one more person to draft up apologies for, should Umavi Thelyss ever step foot in Vallo, he supposed.
Essek leaned forward, letting his elbows rest against the counter as he circled his hands around his glass of wine. Unknown to him, Essek's own thoughts swirled in the same direction as Verin's. He, of course, didn't have to worry too deeply about consecution, but his mind had been nudged in the direction of considering lifespans and how they differed between races, elves and humans in particular. It wasn't something he had been unaware of, naturally; there may not have been many humans roaming Rosohna, but Essek understood how such things played out.
He took a long sip of wine, likewise trying to banish the thoughts. It didn't entirely work, but he still let his gaze land back on his brother and asked, "Things are going well there, I'm assuming? With Cassandra, I mean."
Tossing the tea towel into the sink, Verin turned around to lean back against the counter. He couldn’t help the way his smile brightened at the thought of Cassandra and, for a rare moment, he almost look bashful. Glancing down at the floor, he nodded. “I think so, yes. She’s [...] incredible, really. It’s hard not to let myself get carried away with the sense of urgency this place can instill,” he replied.
He looked back at Essek and asked, “Do you ever feel that, too? Like suddenly there isn’t all the time in the world and everything that you want to feel with and about someone has to happen now or you’ll never have time to experience everything you want to with them?” He shrugged a shoulder, “It’s silly, I know. But I try to silence that part of me because everything about her and being with her and worth slowing down and savoring while I have it. While I have her.”
For a moment, he felt like the younger brother that he was. He felt vulnerable and a vehement want to confide in his brother these feelings that filled him constantly. It was such a novelty, having this sort of conversation with Essek. Verin found himself hoping they could be more like this all the time.
"That's not silly," Essek said, moving to take a sip of wine before immediately pausing to add, "or perhaps it is and I simply can relate." He finished that sip, then continued, "I have not really been in a true relationship before, at least not like the one that I share with Caleb. I also know that I am very much still an, ah -- work in progress, emotionally." He smiled at that, a bit crooked and self-deprecating. "But I will not pretend that I haven't felt that very worry of running out of time, especially after everything with that snowglobe."
The reminder of just how Essek had felt after discovering that Caleb and Verin both had disappeared from Vallo, before they had all realized they were still somewhere, made his heart sink. Normally this would be where he would change the subject, still so very trepidatious about talking about feelings and his inner workings with anyone but Caleb -- and that tended to depend on the day, even if he'd come long strides since they found themselves in Vallo. But as Essek peered over his glass at his brother, feeling additionally emboldened behind the armor of Undercommon, he realized that if anyone were to understand his recent thoughts about lifespans and numbered days, it was Verin.
Essek set his glass down. "It's also taken some adjusting, I'll admit, to view life through a human's eyes, rather than a drow's."
Everything his brother said felt like something Verin himself had thought more than once over the past months. It wasn’t just the unpredictability of the world they were in for them. Their lives thus far had been short in comparison to how long they would live between this life and the next and yet were far longer than their companions would know. Once again, Verin immediately pulled himself away from that path of thought and shrugged a shoulder. “It has, yes, but it’s been worth it, hasn’t it?”
Verin smiled, his chest rising and falling with a silent chuckle. “It’s a new experience having something--someone--change things so much for you in what feels like the blink of an eye. I wouldn’t change it, though. I don’t know where this will end up, but I’m looking forward to finding out. And you--” Verin paused, glancing toward Essek. “It is nice to see the changes in you, too. I know I haven’t done a very good job at showing that.”
Though Essek let out a soft scoff at that, his smile and the way his gaze dropped in an almost bashful manner more or less negated the sound. "I know I have a while to go yet," he said, shrugging a shoulder in an almost identical movement to that of Verin's moments before. "But I can't really say that I'm not different, either. Happier, even."
It was an admission that he'd barely admitted to, even if it likely wouldn't have been hard for anyone that knew him prior to arriving in Vallo to recognize. Essek had never considered himself to be an unhappy individual. He was content in his solitude, perfectly fine to commit himself to his work and studies. But it was as he had once told Yasha, during an impromptu dinner at the Xhorhaus -- he had never considered himself to be lonely until a loud group of adventurers had forced their way into his life. It wasn't that he didn't have people in his life who could care about him if he let them; Essek had always known that Verin was one of those people. But the Mighty Nein had arrived with the right evidence of his treason at the right time, catching him off guard and wholly unprepared.
Still, Essek looked up from the spot on the counter he had been so interested in staring down to instead look at his brother. "I am sorry, you know." He paused, hesitated -- apologizing walked hand in hand with emotional vulnerability and he took a quick drink of wine to cope. Setting the glass back down, he continued, "That it took so long."
Verin didn’t reply immediately. His feelings were still so complicated when it came to topics of his brother. He wondered if he would have had such a hard time bridging this gap with Essek if there hadn’t been the topic of treason to contend with. It didn’t really do to wonder, though, because there had been treason and he did know about it and there was no unknowing that kind of information. And yet Essek was closer now to the much younger older brother he’d once had and loved so much and he couldn’t imagine letting go of that.
At the end of the day, forgiveness seemed to hang on which thing he loved more: his brother or the Luxon. At the end of the day, he wasn’t sure it was really even a question.
So Verin set his glass to the side and somewhat awkwardly shifted and reached toward Essek. Verin didn’t know why this felt so awkward, he was a hugger by nature. He’d always been comfortable with closeness and physical touch. So after a moment, he said, “Ah, fuck it,” and swiftly pulled his older brother into what was, essentially, a bear hug.
Between the two brothers, Verin had gotten the bulk of whatever gene might have allowed for a comfortable relationship with touch. Jester's hugs had been the start of a progression to at least be marginally used to such attention (Caleb, of course, being the exception; though, he was the exception to so many of Essek's rules), but instinct still had him freeze for just a moment as Verin drew him into the hug. But that soon enough made way to acceptance of the gesture and the comfort that went with it, Essek breathing out a sigh and leaning into his brother, one arm raising to pat a hand against his back.
It might not have reached Verin's levels of bear hug, but it was a return of the hug nonetheless. Given that Essek could hardly remember the last time it was he'd hugged his brother in the first place, it felt like a good moment, indeed.
After the moment passed, though, Essek leaned back to extricate himself from the hug, but let his hand rest on Verin's shoulder, squeezing gently. Not entirely sure what to say, he smiled, then breathed out a soft laugh. "I'm still learning how to hug, so apologies if that was a poor showing."
Verin stepped back and lifted a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. He smiled and said, “Well, hopefully we’ve got plenty of time to work on that.” Maybe, he thought, this was a solid step toward mending the things between them that had been broken for far too long.