Enjolras isn't a statue, really (solo_patria) wrote in valarnet, @ 2012-12-25 21:51:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | I am NOT Drunk |
Entry tags: | alyssa hamilton, enjolras, lorna dane (polaris), montgomery scott, navi, pete wisdom |
Voice Post To Valarnet
(basically imagine this is recorded for your pleasure. Or lack of. You only have to have your pups listen if they really want to click the little box. He's extremely EXTREMELY drunk so please feel free to interact. It's not like anybody's letting him go home tonight. This contains a lot of swearing, and R rated material the likes of which he'd never say sober. Let's just say my venture back into fandom has way too many Enjolras's friends get him drunk' fics and Christmas Comes But Once A Year!)
Hellloo Valarnet. I'm curen...curetantly in my friends basement watching them all be dlunk and eating icing off the cookies, then putting them back on the plate. They're all so fucking drunk that they don't fucking notice any of the asinine and juvenile shit that I am doing today.
I, on other hand am so completely sober that watching them is sort of pathetic and really goddamned sad. They not not want to do anything reasonable like planning for the new year and are trying to hook me up with the kind of cocksuckers that I really really do not want to have around me leaching off of the cause, or anything else.
I told them I am a virgin for the everloving fiftyfuckingth time and they can just remove their respective asses from my face because I do not want to see that thank you very much. I mean why should I want to get on my knees for people who text me using letters and not words like absolute dumbasses and not the intelligent, educated people Mommy and Daddy are paying UCLA the second mortag...morgat...tages for? Why am I going to believe that anybody like this is going to be able to find me a girlfriend when I don't want that and it's probably someone who dumped their asses in the first place for...
(pause for some static)
Yes, I'm on the motherfucking phone. I am making a post to valar because I wanted to . No I am not drunk. I have had half a glass of wine. someone has to be designated monkey wrangler around here because God Fucking Knows you aren't going to do it yourselves. Go away. the internet doesn't want to talk to YOU. Nobody wants to talk to yoou.
That's better. They're now going away to...
No I am not going for a walk. I want to stay here behind this couch. I enjoy this couch an I AM gonna deffen' it to my last bre...
(more muffled noises and some snickering and pauses)
....Snowballs? What, Marius's girlfriend won't put out?
No I don't want to hang up or to go outsi...I'm FINE I tell you. I am not dlu...
(phone clicks off here. End message. He's gonna be so humiliated tomorrow)