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wanda maximoff (fears) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2019-06-26 21:24:00

Entry tags:

haruhi fujioka, isabelle lightwood, marcus keane, reid garwin, wanda maximoff (scarlet witch)

I have seen this a few times now, and I am somewhat confused.

I wish to preface this with saying that I am not attempting to lessen anyone's courage. However, I feel like this may be a part of American culture that I am somehow not understanding.

Are there cultural reasons behind the announcements of sexual preference? I understand that in this country this month is used to champion the sexual spectrum and those across it who have faced prejudice, I took a gender studies course last year and we discussed Stonewall, I am aware of the ramifications there.

What I am struggling with is the reasons behind these things. Can anyone explain them? Is there such a way to do that?

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rubeofgod
2019-06-27 02:26 pm UTC (link)

You say we. Are you speaking for the whole of Romania's LGBT community?

I lived there for quite some time. I'm gay. I'm not very vocal about it, but I experienced Gay Month there, I experienced parades that Romania attempted to stop, I experienced public openness in sexuality, I saw a lot of people declaring to be "out and proud" and I'm wondering why it is you've not seen it and it's only here that you do.

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fears
2019-06-27 03:29 pm UTC (link)

No, I am not speaking for any of them. I am sorry if I substitute 'Romania' for 'we' in search of ease.

There is a pride parade in Romania, yes. They have it every year, similar to most countries, it is a time for those who want to celebrate to celebrate. And yes, certain areas are not as embracing of it. However, in the seventeen years in which I lived there, grew up there and was part of the Romanian community, I did not experience the same social media use of 'coming out', as it were.

I knew of gay people within my village, and those in the larger cities who had their own little areas specialising in gay culture. I am aware of those being 'out and proud' within my country. But in my personal experience, Romania is mostly conservative, a silent and invisible sort of thing you could say.

That is why I'm trying to understand this, the American way, where people are vocally open about things, and why they choose this.

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rubeofgod
2019-06-27 03:38 pm UTC (link)

It sounds as if you already understand it so I'm struggling to see where the confusion is coming in for you.

Women didn't always have even the right to express themselves the way you are right now. They couldn't hold jobs or wear swimsuits or anything other than long dresses. They weren't allowed education. But because they were vocal and refused to sit down and shut up, they paved the way for rights here. Other countries where these rights don't exist probably wonder the same thing you do about LGBT people.

Does that help?

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	fears 2019-06-27 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	Does your ‘mansplaining’ of civil rights and the battle for equality help to understand the personal and cultural reasons behind a public ‘outing’ of sexual preference? No. I do not feel you are understanding what it is I am searching for and further discussion would likely devolve, so I believe I will choose to disengage. (Replies frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

rubeofgod
2019-06-27 04:02 pm UTC (link)

You ask me to try to explain in ways that you might understand. I try to state facts and you call it 'mansplaining', then you want to run away.

It sounds to me like you yourself are the one who doesn't want to understand. People have explained it to you, yet you still claim not to. You don't want to.

Disengage and continue to 'not understand'. That's your choice. Cheers.

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fears
2019-06-27 08:32 pm UTC (link)

Explaining to me what my country is like, discussing civil rights and then going into religious and cultural aspects of certain countries is not explaining anything close to what I was asking about.

People explain their points of view, this is what I am looking for, their reasoning, I wish to understand what it is about this aspect of American culture that empowers them.

Which is why I prefaced my questions so that people understood I was not questioning their choices or preferences. You have been aggressive in your communications and due to my need to maintain low stress levels I would like to leave the discussion as it is.

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rubeofgod
2019-06-27 08:42 pm UTC (link)

I never explained to you what your country is like. I talked about my experiences, as a gay man, in your country and asked you to consider that these things are not new and that maybe you're just seeing it more because it's Pride. Civil rights include LGBT rights, so yes, it's a civil rights discussion.

You don't want to understand. You want to write a thinly veiled homophobic post, saying you want to understand when you really don't. You've already been explained it by several people and it still isn't good enough for you. If you don't want to understand, it isn't the responsibility of any of us to answer for ourselves when all they ever did was declare their sexuality after what's probably years of self torment. If someone isn't queer in the way you want them to be or in a way you'd 'understand', that's your own problem.

I have not sworn at you. I have not done anything but what you posted asking for and you don't want to seem to discuss it. Rather, you want to say that our reasoning isn't good enough for you.

You said you want to disengage so disengage. You're much more transparent than you think you are.

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fears
2019-06-27 08:49 pm UTC (link)

Wishing to understand the process of 'coming out' and being homophobic are so far separated it's daunting.

I do what I can to judge no one, as I understand being stigmatised by things outwith your control. I don't care a single bit about who anyone loves, least of all if it hurts no one. However since this isn't my culture, and it seems an important part of this culture, I was asking after the process behind the act of coming out itself, I did not and do not express in any way homophobia and I thank you kindly to not attempt to imply that I am homophobic purely because you do not understand someone seeking to educate themselves in a different culture.

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