InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Breathe Pond."

Sarah Connor is cursed to be ever vigilant (ever_vigilant) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2012-06-23 19:26:00

Entry tags:

eric packer, james kirk, kitty pryde (shadowcat), neena thurman (domino), pete wisdom, romany wisdom, wade wilson (deadpool)

Wanted: Fuck Buddy.
Stipulations: You don't call me the next day to talk about your emotions. You don't even call me the next day unless it's to see if you're spending the night. I like beer, whiskey, and pizza, I like my coffee black, and I don't keep cream or sugar at my apartment. If you want that shit, run to the store. I welcome offers of random takeout foods, but no MSG.

Complicated Emotional Bullshit is not an option. If you can't fit that bill, don't even bother messaging me.

I'm quirky and I'll be the first to admit it, and I don't take any shit, but I can drink with the best of them, and I'm not afraid of meeting you in person so you can see for yourself that I'm exactly who I claim to be.

You can even run a background check, son.

A british accent would be nice for reading me ~~the phonebook~~ ~~a Chinese Takeout Menu~~ one of my Gun Manuals afterwards, but isn't necessarily a requirement.

Wade, just no. And all of you Feds? Don't worry, this isn't a business transaction, so go sniff for idiotic prostitution announcements somewhere else, like Facebook.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:33 am UTC (link)
	I was a full time maid around you, I swear. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:38 am UTC (link)
	No, you tried to turn me into the full time maid. You had me hoovering. I never do that. I tend to let the carpeting form it's own film and produce it's own ecosystem. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:39 am UTC (link)
	Reverse psychology works every time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:40 am UTC (link)
	As soon as you left, old habits tend to overrule reverse psychology, you pain in the arse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:42 am UTC (link)
	Well, I did miss Tom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:43 am UTC (link)
	Tom had offspring. He was always very fond of you, you know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:45 am UTC (link)
	It's hard to forget waking up to a rat trying to crawl into your panties. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:47 am UTC (link)
	He was simply trying to give you a very intimate hug to say hello, that's all. Or he was mimicking me, because I spent a lot of time getting into your knickers. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:48 am UTC (link)
	You're a horrible influence. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:51 am UTC (link)
	I'm an utterly brilliant influence and you bloody well know it. Or, at least, you were very vocally appreciative about what sort of utterly brilliant influence I was, at the time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 03:53 am UTC (link)
	I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 03:55 am UTC (link)
	You suppose nothing. There were certain points that had me thinking my ears were going to bleed. And one point where they were ringing. Because...broomcloset. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:16 am UTC (link)
	I'm a little enthusiastic at times? >.> (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:22 am UTC (link)
	You can't see how closely I'm pinching my fingers together. Or how far apart I held out both hands from one another, for that matter. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:24 am UTC (link)
	You're too hung over to tell distance properly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:29 am UTC (link)
	I can too, you bloody little liar. I simply flopped one arm out there, that way, and the other arm all the way out, the other way. Like I was crucified. It's approximately that far. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:34 am UTC (link)
	You'd make the perfect Jesus. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:39 am UTC (link)
	I make for an excellent martyr, don't I. Or I simply like the abuse. Go on then. Abuse me more. I enjoy it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:44 am UTC (link)
	I know a place called the Black Thorn if you're into that sort of thing. Nice service, friendly staff, there's a woman there that REALLY enjoys her job. She gave me a few pointers. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Aww, you mean you aren't working there? It'd suit you so well. And I'd pay double the rate. I don't think I need any help with the abuse, ya dumbarse. Though I am going 'hmmm' at how you'd know about that place, Pryde? Sounds like you've been there before. Tell me all about it, hm? I'm all ears. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Purely innocent. Helping Jubilee help a friend figure out where her friend goes on the weekends. Got caught. That woman actually managed to use a whip to catch me, too. Then she decided I'd make a good apprentice. Frankly I'd enjoy being the one with the ballgag more, but I could get the appeal. Maybe trading off. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 04:52 am UTC (link)
	...I'd like to offer you an invitation to indulge in a state of perpetual, indeterminate un-matrimony with me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 04:58 am UTC (link)
	I'll have to decline, I left my girlfriend tied up with my other boyfriend and the land lady. I really shouldn't leave them like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mister_wisdom 2012-06-24 05:00 am UTC (link)
	Fuck 'em. If they aren't clever enough to get out on their own, they don't deserve to survive. You and I can hit ninja-land and then meth-addict-land, followed by a rollercoaster without safety braces and ice cream, afterward. Covered in liquor. ~~I didn't say if the liquor was on the ice cream, or on you.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shadowcat 2012-06-24 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Meth-addict land is reserved for outings with Obi-wan. But I can pencil in ninjas. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)